Triple Switch
by Pachimew
Summary: In which Luffy can't find his hat, Ace is on his brother's ship, and Sabo is very confused. -Kinda self-indulgent. No ships. Pre-Saobody. Massive Sabo-related spoilers, up to Chapter 794. The sole purpose of this is to get the ASL trio together while they're all alive and have them be happy, and also entertain myself while doing that. Which means swaps. Rated T for cursing.
1. Luffy Can't Find His Hat

**Welcome to my self-indulgent story, where 'self-indulgent' means no ships and everyone ends up crying from happiness. I don't own One Piece. I'm planning on adding a new chapter once a week. Enjoy, folks.**

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Monkey D. Luffy was awake all at once, eyes wide, heart pounding. He jerked upright, only vaguely registering the red-haired woman nearby (she looked kind of like Nami, except not really), and patted the space around his head and neck.

His hat was missing. This was a huge problem. Also, he didn't know where he was, or where his nakama were, or who the red-haired lady was, and he was hungry. But his first and biggest problem was his missing hat. For a moment longer, Luffy kept patting in the hope that it would magically appear. When that failed to happen, he turned his attention to the other person in the room. She looked pretty annoyed. Her hands were on her hips as she looked at him. Luffy had never seen her before in his life.

Didn't matter. He needed his hat. Hat, and then meat. Where was Sanji? Sanji would get him meat, as soon as he found his hat. Hat, then nakama, _then_ meat. Unless he found meat first. Then he'd eat it. Duh.

"Glad to see you're awake," the lady said, just as Luffy opened his mouth to ask about his hat, and also about the meat, and maybe about his crew. "Were you _trying_ to get yourself killed? We were on a _stealth_ mission. A. _Stealth._ Mission. What part of that didn't you get?"

Luffy didn't have the slightest clue was she was talking about, but she sounded pretty annoyed. "Hat," he said, because really, that was the only important thing right now.

That wasn't his voice. Did that matter? Probably, but it could wait until he'd gotten his hat back.

The lady frowned. "What hat?"

" _My_ hat," Luffy said, because it should be obvious, "The one I always wear, you know, Shanks gave it to me?"

The lady's frown deepened. "The only hat that's _yours_ is that ratty old top hat with the goggles, and neither of us knows how you got _that._ And- Red-Haired Shanks?"

Top hat. Goggles. That struck a memory within Luffy's mind, an important one, even more important than meat. He nodded absently as he tried to connect it to something.

Top hat. Goggles. A missing tooth, a metal pipe, and short, blond hair.

The lady was talking again, her eyes wide. "How did you- wait, Sabo, don't tell me your memories are coming back?!"

Sabo. _That_ mattered.

"I'm not Sabo," Luffy said, because he wasn't, and that was important, but also important, _more_ important, "Sabo's not dead?"

"Wh-what?" The lady looked confused. Luffy didn't blame her. He didn't look at _all_ like Sabo.

He didn't sound like Sabo, either, but right now he didn't sound like himself, and it felt like there was something important about that fact, something that he was missing. But that didn't matter right now.

"I'm not Sabo," Luffy repeated when the lady didn't say anything else, and then again, "But- he's not dead?"

If Sabo wasn't dead, then why hadn't he _told_ them?

"Then who are you?!" the lady snapped, jolting out of her daze and shifting into some kind of fighting stance that Luffy thought he recognized from somewhere. Didn't matter.

" _Sabo's not dead?"_ Luffy asked a third time, because this was the most important thing in the world right now, more than where was he, who was she, more than his voice being not his and his nakama, more than meat, and even more than his hat, right now.

"No, he's not dead!" the lady said, and a wild joy swept Luffy up. He felt like he could launch himself to Skypiea on willpower alone. He wanted to laugh, to cry, to dance and sing for days on end- _Sabo was alive, alive, alive, even if he'd been a huge jerk and never told us-_ "Who are you?!" the lady asked again, sounding angry and reminding him of Nami even more strongly than before.

"I'm Luffy," Luffy said. Obviously. "Who else would I be?" A beat passed. Then another. The lady's face and stance went from angry and ready to fight to confused and a little awkward. Something about Luffy's own words made him feel like he was missing something. Something big- oh, yeah. "Where's my hat?"

"Luffy," the lady said, "As in, Straw Hat?"

"Yeah. Where is it?"

"Um. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but…" the lady hesitated. Luffy remembered something else important.

"Meat," he announced, smacking one fist on his open palm. "I want meat."

"Excuse me?" The lady asked, looking taken aback.

"I'm hungry, I want meat. Hat first, then meat, and then I gotta get back to my nakama." Luffy nodded to himself. Yep. That was all that mattered in the world, except for the wonderful news that _Sabo was alive_ and- "Who are _you_ , anyways?" he asked the lady.

The lady drew herself up. "I'm Koala, of the Revolutionary Army!"

Luffy blinked. "Isn't that a kind of bear?"

Koala slammed him on the head. "WILL YOU SHADDUP AND LET ME THINK?!"

"Owwww!" Luffy whined, very intensely reminded of Nami and now kind of homesick, "I didn't even do anything!"

"QUIET OR I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER ONE!"

Luffy made a small 'eep' sound and pursed his lips. Koala was _mean._ He wanted to go back to the Sunny. Hat first, then meat if there was any, then go back to his nakama. The perfect plan.

Koala sighed. "Okay, Sa- I mean, Straw Hat...follow me, will you?" She opened the door, made a 'come on' motion, and left. Luffy followed her. Maybe she would take him to his hat now. Or meat! That would be great!

"How do you know Sabo?" Luffy asked as the question popped into his head. She looked back at him with a surprised face.

"The Revolutionaries practically raised us together. We're partners, and I've known him since we were-what, twelve? Thirteen? About that. He's like a brother to me."

 _Sabo had a sister!_ That meant Luffy and Ace had a sister!

"Sabo's my brother, too!" Luffy said happily. He suddenly realized he hadn't actually _seen_ Sabo. Where was he? Was he lost? Maybe he was with Luffy's dad, Dragon, that guy was in charge of the Revolutionary Army, right?

Koala had frozen with a door (and her mouth) half-opened. "His brother?" she repeated, almost in a whisper. Then she lunged towards him, grabbing his shoulders. "Straw Hat Luffy-you're Sabo's brother?!"

"Yep!" Luffy nodded enthusiastically. "I haven't seen him in forever!" Stupid Sabo hadn't even written them a letter. But Sabo was alive, Sabo had a sister- he had to tell Ace! Oh, man, he couldn't _wait_ to tell Ace- all Luffy needed was his hat and his nakama and some meat, and the world would be better than it ever had been before.

"This just gets better and better," Koala muttered, which was how Luffy felt _exactly,_ except she didn't sound very happy about it. "Alright, I guess I'd better break it to you first." She yanked the door open and all but shoved him through it. It led to a bathroom, and Koala spun him to face the mirror.

Luffy blinked, then frowned. He wasn't _in_ the mirror. There was Koala, and there was a tall blond man with wavy hair that, except for a burn scar over his left eye, _really_ reminded Luffy of Sabo. He even had the silly napkin Sabo always wore around his neck. Luffy's reflection, though, was nowhere to be found.

"A mystery mirror?" Luffy asked, tilting his head. The maybe-Sabo-reflection tilted his head, too, his lips moving with Luffy's own. Luffy's frown deepened. So did maybe-Sabo-reflection's. "What's with this mirror? I'm not anywhere in it!"

Koala gave him an 'are you _stupid?'_ look. Luffy knew that look well.

…His voice wasn't his, Luffy remembered. And suddenly, it mattered.

His voice wasn't his, and his reflection wasn't either, and Sabo was _still not there,_ and Koala had called him Sabo (she'd also said something about his memories, but _that_ didn't matter, at least, not yet).

"Oh," Luffy said in the voice that wasn't his, a hand lifting almost against his will to his left eye, where his crescent scar and the reflection's burn scar were located, and when he touched, it was the burn he felt, not the crescent. " _I'm_ Sabo."

Koala nodded grimly. "Unfortunately," she sighed, "You're also Straw Hat Luffy."

He wasn't going to get his hat back anytime soon, was he?

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	2. Ace Is on His Brother's Ship

**All right kids, you get an update every Wednesday at roughly four o'clock...uh...Eastern Standard Time, I think. Mark it on your calendars or whatever.**

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Portgas D. Ace could have sworn his narcoleptic attack had happened while he was safely docked somewhere, although he had his doubts about if he'd been able to get any farther than the pier before falling asleep.

So, riddle him this; if he'd fallen asleep just off-board _Striker_ , his surfboard of a ship, then why was he waking up in the quarters of a much larger- _and occupied-_ ship?

Hang on a second…Ace sat up and scanned the room. He recognized some of those faces. Yeah- that was Luffy's green-haired first mate, his long nosed liar, his curly-eyebrowed cook, and his tanuki- no, wait, _reindeer-_ doctor. The cyborg and the skeleton were new, though. Ace raised an eyebrow, but couldn't help smiling. His little brother found the oddest crewmates.

Speaking of Luffy, where was he? Ace frowned and got out of the hammock he was lying in (and when had he gotten in there, anyways?). There was no sign of his rambunctious little brother. Maybe he'd woken up early, or just had to go to the bathroom. Yeah, probably the bathroom. Ace kinda had to use it himself, so he'd go do that now, and if Luffy wasn't there, then Ace would just have to check the rest of the ship.

Luffy had better have a good explanation for why in the world Ace was on his ship. The only one Ace could think of was kidnapping, and if that was the case, Luffy was getting a strong wallop on the head. Then again, the words 'good explanation' and 'Luffy' didn't really go together, whether Luffy was doing the explaining or _being_ explained. But first; the bathroom. It couldn't be _that_ hard to find, after all.

...So, it was a little harder to find than he'd thought, and he hadn't seen Luffy during any of it, but he'd found it eventually. Luffy had gotten a new ship since the last time Ace had seen him. All that running around just meant Ace _really_ had to go, and was slightly pissed about it. He finally stumbled to the toilet and did his business without so much as turning on a light.

It occurred to him that he was a little drowsy. That was usually a sign of an imminent narcoleptic attack, so Ace figured he'd better try and get into a comfortable position soon, so he didn't wake up all stiff. He probably had enough time to give his hands a quick wash. Maybe. Hopefully. Ace turned on the water and shoved his hands under the spray, briefly praying that he didn't fall asleep and collapse face-first into the sink. If he managed to drown like that, Sabo would laugh at him for the rest of eternity in Pirate Heaven.

He managed not to collapse in the sink. Ace turned off the water and groped for a towel. Finding none, he muttered a curse and turned on the light. Had his voice always sounded like that? He was pretty sure it didn't normally. Maybe he'd been asleep longer than he thought, and his voice had gotten clogged up or something. Anyways, where was a…oh, there was a towel. Strange, normally his narcolepsy would have put him out by now, but he was still just drowsy. Ace glanced up at the mirror as he dried his hands.

He was suddenly no longer drowsy. Nor was he completely asleep. No, he had gone in the exact opposite direction, and was now very much awake, because it was his little brother's face in the mirror. "What the hell?" Ace gasped.

No wonder his voice sounded strange. It was _Luffy's_ voice, not his. Ace brought a hand to the back of his neck and found a hat resting there. He yanked it off and stared at it- yes, that was Luffy's, too. He was wearing Luffy's clothes, now that he looked, red vest and blue shorts (no sandals, but then, he _had_ been sleeping). Ace jammed the hat back on his head (Luffy's head?) and, gripping the counter to steady himself, he lifted a hand to his eye and felt his brother's scar.

He was Luffy. He was _in Luffy's body._ He had just peed with Luffy's- oh, god. No. He wasn't even going to think about it. Just to check, Ace hooked a finger in the corner of his mouth and pulled. Sure enough, it stretched without actually hurting, and when Ace let go, it snapped back into place with an elastic, rubbery sound. It didn't hurt, but it felt _weird._

How was he going to explain this to Luffy's crew? The simple answer was _not_ to, and just pretend he _was_ his little brother, but Luffy was, well, Luffy. Ace doubted that he could keep up that kind of act for very long, assuming he could _do_ the act. That would be an accomplishment in itself. He did have one, no, two things going for him; first, Luffy's crew would _expect_ him to be Luffy, which could give him some room to screw up. Second; who knew Luffy better than his big brother?

On the other hand, what was the point in hiding it? If he just told them straight out, the worst that could happen was them not believing him. That wasn't so bad, and it couldn't be _too_ hard to convince them that he really was Ace. After all, Luffy couldn't be polite to save his life, and that was just the start of it. Yes, Ace decided, as soon as everyone was awake, he'd explain things, and see if any of them had some idea of how this happened.

"At least I have that figured out," Ace muttered, making a face at Luffy's reflection. Maybe the act wouldn't have been so hard, he was already starting to act a little like Luffy. Ace didn't like where that train of thought led and instead turned his thoughts to _how_ and _why_ he'd ended up in Luffy's body in the first place. _Ace_ certainly hadn't done anything to trigger it. Had he?

He thought it over and decided no, he hadn't. That meant it was either Luffy's fault or some enemy of theirs- Ace's or Luffy's, or even both, it didn't really matter. If Ace was in Luffy's body, then it would make sense for Luffy to be in Ace's, so all Ace had to do was call him…

"Except I don't hAVE A TRANSPONDER SNAIL, GOD _DAMMIT."_

Oh, yeah. Talking with Luffy's voice was weird, especially when it was an angry yell. Maybe he should shut up before he woke somebody up. He briefly considered swearing off talking altogether until he got his body back, but that was stupid.

Ace went back to his earlier line of thought. He really should have brought a transponder snail along. He'd been in blind rage when he first took off to hunt down Blackbeard, barely grabbing enough supplies to keep him going till he could he to an island…and more recently, he hadn't even had enough time to _go_ anywhere that might have had a snail handy before his narcolepsy hit, and now he was Luffy. Worse, he didn't even know where it was that he had landed, so he couldn't head for the island.

Ace cursed, and then cursed again because it made him feel better, even if it was with his brother's voice. He paced in the bathroom, trying to figure out what to do, how to get into contact with his little brother. Maybe one of Luffy's crew would have an answer, or at least some sort of suggestion. He had to get a message to Luffy somehow. How the hell was he going to do that?

Ace decided to use a strategy that had been useful to him for a long time: sleeping on it. Hopefully, when he woke up, his mind would be more active, and he'd be able to think better, maybe even come up with a solution. Plus, he'd have Luffy's crew to bounce ideas off of. Hah! That could almost be a pun, what with Luffy being a rubber man.

If this was Luffy's fault, Ace decided as he left the bathroom and made his way back to the guy's quarters, he was going to beat the absolute _shit_ out of his little brother.

For once in Ace's life, he couldn't sleep.

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	3. Sabo Is Very Confused

**Here we are, chapter 3! Thank you to all the lovely people who follow and favorite, and thanks especially to my wonderful reviewers! Remember, this updates every Wednesday around 4:00 EST. Mark it on your calendars, kiddos. If you want, I mean.**

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 **And now, your promised chapter, which is also the longest yet. Enjoy!**

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Sabo was certain he'd been wearing a shirt when he'd gotten knocked out. So where was it?

The obvious, logical conclusion was that he had been stripped while unconscious, and then dumped…wherever he was. Sabo glanced around briefly. He was at the docks, and dawn was breaking, and his shirt, vest, and cravat were all missing. He also had a string of beads around his neck, which seemed like it should be significant for some reason, but that could wait for the moment. Sabo frowned down at himself, then got to his feet, brushing himself off.

There was only one ship docked at the pier Sabo was on, and it was rather strange; more of a surfboard with an engine and a sail than anything else, really. Sabo dismissed it for the moment and decided to continue to take stock of his remaining possessions, whatever they might be.

So his upper body coverings were gone, replaced by a string of beads for whatever reason. Perhaps there was a tracker in one of them or some such thing. Fine. He still had a Log Pose and a bangle around his left wrist, an armband on the same arm, a pair of shorts with a bag strapped to one leg, a pair of boots, and a belt with a knife. That didn't add up, not at all. For one thing, he hadn't been _wearing_ those clothes. For another, who in their right mind would remove someone's shirt, but leave their weapon?

…Rabid fangirls, perhaps, but it certainly hadn't been a pack of teenaged girls that Sabo and Koala had been sent to spy on- _waitasecond._

"Koala!" Sabo cried aloud. He'd meant to follow up with either 'where is she' or 'she's going to _kill_ me,' but he got sidetracked by the very alarming realization that the voice he had spoken with wasn't his. "What?" Sabo gasped, mostly to make sure he'd heard right.

His mind whirled. He touched a hand to his throat hesitantly, then let it drop past the string of beads to a- he wanted to call it a pendant- with an engraving of something like a ram's skull. The beads. The pendant. Sabo could've sworn he'd seen those before, on a wanted poster. There was something on his head, too…

Sabo reached up to take it off, his hands almost trembling. _Please don't let this be the hat I think it is,_ Sabo prayed, _Please. Please, no._

He brought the hat into his line of vision. Even in the misty gray light of dawn, the hat was visibly orange _(obnoxiously_ orange, since he could make out the color in this light), with a string of beads and smiling/sad faced badges serving as a band. Sabo closed his eyes and groaned. It was exactly the hat he thought it was.

"Fire Fist Ace," Sabo said aloud, "Koala is going to _kill_ me as soon as I'm myself again."

…Unless someone had simply decided to swap out his clothes for Fire Fist's, or a near replica. That, however, would require a ridiculous amount of coincidence and luck, and he couldn't see _why_ anyone would bother. Besides, it wouldn't have changed his voice. Sabo began to wonder _how-_

That line of thought was broken as another one came into his mind, specifically the logic of 'if I'm in Fire Fist's body, then he must be in mine,' quickly followed by the panicked thought of 'oh my god, _Koala.'_ What she might do to him; he had to let her know he was okay, don't kill Fire Fist, he's not an impostor, something like that. He needed a transponder snail, and fast.

Normally, the Army's snails were guarded against tapping, but Sabo knew Koala's personal number, just in case he ever managed to lose his half of their closed circuit and he needed to contact her (and she knew his, too). All he needed was a snail. An inn or something similar would be likely to have one, right?

Sabo turned towards the island town, frowning. He was in the body of Fire Fist Ace at the moment, and he should probably hide that identity. The islanders might very well be hostile to pirates, even (or especially) Whitebeard's. Sabo eyed the small ship at the pier. It had to belong to Fire Fist- how else would the pirate have gotten to the island?- and there was a bag lying on it. He could stash the hat and necklace in there, at least, and with luck there would be a shirt. Sabo nodded to himself, grabbed the bag, and quickly rummaged through it.

There was not, in fact, a shirt. Sabo found this to be a serious lapse of judgement. He stuffed the hat and beads in the bag and placed it back on the ship, making a mental note to buy a shirt as soon as possible. _After_ he'd called Koala. Sabo took a deep breath and blew it out, then turned in the direction of the town. He'd better start looking.

He found an inn rather quickly, and it was surprisingly easy to avoid notice in the town. It was, after all, still dawn, so there weren't many people out, but what surprised Sabo was that the few who _were_ roaming the area never even glanced at him. Still, Sabo couldn't help but be wary. He glanced down at his arm and used Armored Haki, just to reassure himself that he could. He nodded at the black skin, then let it fade back to flesh. At least if he was attacked, he would have something more than his (admittedly formidable) bare hands and a Devil Fruit he didn't know how to use.

Sabo's gaze trailed upwards to the tattoo on Fire Fist's arm; ASCE, with the S crossed out. Had the man really managed to misspell his own name? Or did that S mean something else?

…Surely it couldn't have anything to do with Sabo. Of course not. Sabo ignored the small, insistent feeling somewhere in his gut. Normally, he trusted his instincts, but this one was simply ridiculous. Sabo had never interacted with Fire Fist Ace in his life.

(That he could remember. But no, that didn't count. Nothing counted before the Revolutionary Army. Whatever his past life had been, it didn't matter. All he recalled of it was that his parents had been horrible, and that was the end of it.)

Sabo reached the inn, shook his head sharply to put it out of his mind, took a deep breath, and collected his thoughts. He needed to figure out what he was going to say to Koala. Sabo opened the door and stepped inside. The person who was sitting behind the counter was the first to give him a second glance. He apparently matched Sabo's borrowed face up with Fire Fist's bounty poster, because his face went pale and he shrunk behind the counter.

"Easy," Sabo said, trying for a reassuring tone, "I just need to use a transponder snail."

The man nodded rapidly. "I-I'll get you one. Do you need a private room as well, uh…sir?"

Sabo nodded. "That would be for the best…do I have to pay for it?" he asked, recalling that he didn't have any money with him. He didn't think so, anyways. Unfortunately, the poor man misinterpreted his words.

"N-no, no sir, no charge!" he squeaked, a terrified look on his face as rushed out from behind the counter. "Right this way!"

The man led him to a small room with minimal furnishings, a sleeping transponder snail resting on the nightstand. Sabo turned to the man, who rushed out and slammed the door behind him, leaving Sabo with a "thank you" dying in his throat. He sighed quietly and dialed Koala.

He sat anxiously on the bed, waiting for her to pick up. He was still uncertain what he'd say to her. He supposed a lot of it depended on how she answered the call-

" _Who is this?!"_

That, for example, made things awkward.

"Koala?" Sabo said cautiously. Always a good beginning.

"How'd you get this number?!" Koala's voice snapped from the snail's mouth.

"Koala, listen to me." Sabo _still_ didn't know what he was going to say to her. He was going to have to play it off the cuff. "I know this is going to sound unbelievable, but I swear-"

"Is that Ace?"

Sabo almost fell over. That was _his_ voice! It sounded strange over the snail, it always did, but it was definitely his.

…Did Fire Fist always refer to himself in third person?

"It's-it's a little hard to explain, but I-" Sabo began, trying to answer the questions, but his own voice cut him off.

"That _is_ Ace! Ace, Ace, guess what?!"

" _Give me that snail back, you-"_

A growing feeling of something like dread settled in Sabo's stomach as he began to realize it wasn't Fire Fist in his body. Whoever it _was_ , he needed to set them straight; but once more, his own voice spoke before he could.

"Sabo's not dead!" it shouted, and Sabo's only thought for a moment was 'of course I'm not dead.' He didn't think he'd ever heard his own voice so joyful. The joy was deep and heartfelt, and despite himself, Sabo felt a smile tugging at his mouth in response.

Then- " _OW!"_ his voice yelled, and Sabo winced in sympathy. Koala had decided to take the snail back by force.

"Fire Fist Ace?! How'd you get this number- hey! How do _you_ know Fire Fist?!" Koala snapped, the latter comment obviously directed at whoever was in Sabo's body.

"Ace is my brother, too!"

And Sabo, hearing those words in his voice, felt a flood of long-forgotten memories crashing towards his mind. He slammed a mental lock on them before they got farther than a few flashes. _Not now, not now, maybe soon, but_ _ **not now!**_

"Koala, listen, it's me, I'm Sabo." Sabo didn't know if she'd believe him, but if she already knew who was in his body; and it seemed likely that she did; well, she'd at least have to consider the possibility, right?

"Sabo?!" Koala yelped.

" _SABO!"_ his own voice yelled, "You're not dead!"

"Um…yes?" Sabo offered, unable to come up with a better reply.

"You _asshole!"_ whoever it was in his body continued in an incongruously happy tone, "Why didn't you _tell_ us?!"

The lock Sabo was keeping on his memories cracked. He meant to respond with 'Tell _who?'_ But another image flashed into his mind, a memory of putting pen to paper, and an instinctive context that went with it, and what came out of his mouth was, "I wrote you a letter…"

"Yeah, I know, Ace read it to me. But that was _before_ you got blown up!"

Sabo was having trouble getting a grip on his thoughts. He felt oddly tired. His eyes burned as he tried to keep them open.

"Hey, save it for later!" Koala said. "Sabo, quick, where are you?!"

"I'm at…" Sabo's voice (no, Ace's voice, which Sabo was borrowing) trailed off. His eyelids felt like lead. The mental lock cracked further, spilling more memories into his mind. If Ace wasn't in his body, then he was in the body of whoever was in Sabo's body, and Sabo had a strong feeling he knew who it was. It was on the tip of his tongue, but he _couldn't- think- of- the- name-_ "Who is that, in my body?"

"It's me!" Sabo's own voice said, sounding almost offended that he wouldn't remember, "Your little brother!"

The lock broke completely, and Sabo finally had the name. "Luffy?" he gasped.

Then the flood washed over him, and he was gone.

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	4. Koala Has A Lot to Deal With

**Oh look, another point of view! Just for variety. Thanks again to everybody following, favoriting, and reviewing; you are all wonderful wonderful people! Remember; we update every Wednesday around 4:00 PM EST.**

 **Review Time!**

 **A guest asked where we are in the One Piece timeline. As it says in the description; Pre-Saobody. Outside of that, I got nothing. I don't watch the anime, just read the manga, and it's been a while since I read as far back as Saobody. Let's just says it takes place between the Thriller Bark arc and finding Camie and leave it at that, yeah?**

 **Juliedoo, thanks! To be honest, I've been wanting a brother-swap story for a while now, but nobody seemed to write one, so I decided to do it by my-damn-self. And I wanted them to reunite. Thus, Triple Switch was born.**

 **Moving on. Bluejay Blaze, I literally did finger guns at my computer screen when I read your comment. Then I had to sit there and think about that for a minute. Anyways, thank you!**

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 **LuffyxRuby, sorry to leave you hanging, but it makes for good suspense, yeah? I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

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 **And now, without further ado, this week's chapter!**

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Koala was not ashamed to admit that she panicked when the snail abruptly cut off transmission and closed its eyes.

"Sabo? _Sabo!"_ Koala yelled. She cursed, wishing she had something to throw. As it was, she settled for whirling on Straw Hat with an accusing glare. "This is _your_ fault!"

He frowned. "Is not."

Koala gritted her teeth and cursed again, then stormed down the hallway. She needed to trace that call, she needed to tell Dragon about the situation, she needed to _get Sabo back._ "Sabo would have told me where he was if you hadn't distracted him!" she snapped at Straw Hat. God, this was _strange!_ Straw Hat was in her partner's body, Sabo was in the body of Fire Fist Ace- did that mean Fire Fist was Straw Hat?

And what was this business about being brothers, anyways? Had Straw Hat and Fire Fist known Sabo _before_ he'd lost his memory? They must have; Koala had never told Sabo who was in his body, but Sabo had recognized Luffy after he'd referred to himself as Sabo's little brother…had Sabo finally regained his memory?

A spike of fear shot through her. Would he stay with the Revolutionaries if he had?

"Hey, can I eat now?" Sa- _Straw Hat,_ dammit- asked, shattering through her fear and pulling her back to the moment.

Now she was _angry._ "Is food all you care about?!" Koala exploded.

" _No,"_ Straw Hat said, looking insulted _(with Sabo's face),_ "There's also my hat, and my nakama, and _Sunny_ , and-"

"What about _Sabo?!"_ Koala snapped, "He just went silent! He could have been ambushed, or, or-"

Straw Hat just laughed, an odd 'shishishi' that sounded plain strange coming from Sabo's mouth. "Sabo's just sleeping!"

"How do you know?" Koala asked, somewhere between startled and confused and angry, mostly angry. She supposed maybe it made sense for him to be asleep, if Sabo's memories had been unlocked all at once. That could have overloaded his mind and caused him to pass out. But Straw Hat was so utterly _certain_ about it, and that pissed Koala off.

"Sabo is Ace right now," Straw Hat said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Ace sleeps _everywhere_. Something about narco…" His face (Sabo's face) screwed up in thought. "Narca...narcolesy? Naralipsy?"

"Narcolepsy?" Koala offered. She'd heard of that. People affected by it were prone to falling asleep anytime, anywhere. Who knew Fire Fist had it?

…Ah, yes. Straw Hat did.

"Yeah, that!" Straw Hat nodded enthusiastically. "He'll wake up and call us back later!"

"There is no _us,"_ Koala said firmly. "There's me, my partner, and the Revolutionary Army. You, Straw Hat, are not any part of that."

"It's Luffy." Straw Hat crossed his arms with a determined expression. "And Sabo's my brother."

Koala took a deep breath and tried to collect herself. "Forget it. We- you're so lucky no one's been around to see how weird 'Sabo' has been acting." She had to figure out what to do. _Think!_

Straw Hat was in Sabo's body, and Sabo was in the body of Fire Fist Ace. Fine. Koala wasn't even going to get into the troubles that Fire Fist might be having if he was in Straw Hat's body. She should tell Dragon, first. Maybe _he_ would have some idea what to do.

…This swap couldn't be because of that thing she and Sabo had taken, could it?

 _Ahhhh,_ she'd worry about that later. She had enough on her mind right now. For example, should she leave Straw Hat here, or take him with her to see Dragon? She looked over at Sabo's body.

"Stop messing with his cravat," Koala said sharply.

"His _what?"_ Straw Hat looked at her with confusion. "You mean the napkin?"

Koala couldn't count the number of times she'd teased Sabo by calling his cravat a napkin, and had to stifle a laugh. Then she remembered how defensive he would always get about it, and her smile faded. It wasn't right for Sabo to _not_ react like that. This wasn't right. This was all wrong, so wrong-

"I'm still hungry," Straw Hat complained, once more pulling her out of her downward spiral. Koala took a deep breath and tried to focus.

"Can you stay here?" she asked, "While I go tell my boss about the situation, can you stay _right here?"_

"Will there be food?"

That was an answer in itself, really. Fine. She'd take him to see Dragon, and then she'd get him something to eat. If his appetite was anything like Sabo's, she'd have to make sure there was plenty of food around…

"Come with me," Koala said, moving down the hallway.

"Are we getting food _now?_ Will there be meat?"

"First, I'm taking you with me to see Dragon and tell him about this…situation. Then food."

"Oh, you mean my dad?"

"Yeah, your…" Straw Hat's words worked their way through Koala's mind. She whirled towards him. "YOUR _DAD?!"_

"Oh, yeah!" Straw Hat smacked a fist into a palm. "Gramps told me not to tell people about that! Forget I said anything!"

Koala was quivering in rage. "Tell me your full name."

"Monkey D. Luffy!"

 _Monkey D._ Yes, like Dragon. And like Garp the Fist, the Marine Hero. Koala had known about Dragon's father, but not that he had a son. And this was on top of his other claimed familial relations. "Monkey D. Luffy," Koala intoned in her best voice of Doom, "your father is Dragon, you claim your brothers are Fire Fist Ace and my own partner, Sabo, and if I'm not wrong, your grandfather is Garp. Are there _any other_ family members of yours that I should know about?"

"Nope!" Luffy beamed (had Koala ever seen Sabo's face look so innocently happy? She didn't think she had), "That's all of them!"

Koala had used Sabo as a punching bag so many times already. She was sure he wouldn't mind if his body gained a few more knocks.

It occurred to her as she was storming down the hallway, Straw Hat limping behind her, that if his appetite was anything like _Dragon's,_ they would be out of food by the end of the day. Because she just didn't have enough to worry about, obviously.

Koala threw open the door at the end of the hallway. Dragon wasn't there, but… "Hack!" Koala called, hurrying over to the Fishman, "Have you seen Dragon anywhere?"

Hack looked briefly surprised, then thoughtful. "I think he went to the kitchen. Why? Do you still need to give him your report?

"Oh, shit!" Koala slapped a palm to her forehead. "I'd forgotten about that!" Great. That was _yet another_ thing to add to her growing pile of problems.

"If it's not because of the report, then why do you need to see him?" Hack asked, frowning.

"It's…complicated. You see, Sabo…" Koala turned to look at Straw Hat, only to find that he was nowhere to be seen. "Oh, _great!_ Where's that idiot gotten off to now?!" She glanced at Hack apologetically. "Gotta go! I'll explain later!" Then she dashed off. Straw Hat had been so intent on food, her best bet would be the kitchen. With any luck, Dragon would be there, too.

For the first time that day, Koala was lucky. They were both there, stuffing their faces and totally ignoring each other.

"Thank god," Koala sighed. At least she wouldn't have to run around anymore. She had also been a bit worried that Straw Hat would have blown it and Dragon would have attacked and maybe even killed him, thinking he was an impostor. If that had happened, _then_ how would Sabo have ever gotten back to his own body?

…Although, that wasn't really Dragon's style. _Anyways._

"Sir, have a, ah… _situation,"_ Koala said, carefully keeping Straw Hat in her line of sight as she addressed her boss.

"Does it have anything to do with my son?" Dragon asked, barely glancing up at her, but jerking his head towards Sabo's body. Koala started.

"By th' way," Straw Hat piped up through a mouthful of food, "I tol' 'im." He swallowed whatever was in his mouth. "He asked for a report and I didn't have one, and then he called me Sabo, so I told him I was Luffy."

"AND YOU JUST _ACCEPTED_ THAT?!" Koala screeched.

"Yeah," Dragon and Straw Hat said in unison, picking their noses.

"YOU GET YOUR FINGER OUT OF SABO'S NOSE RIGHT NOW!"

"Why?" Straw Hat asked, making a face but taking his finger out anyways, "Sabo wouldn't care."

Koala groaned. This was going to be a very, very long day, wasn't it?

* * *

 **And there we go.**

 **Hey, I wrote another One Piece story; Four Times Sabo Almost Remembered His Brothers. Check it out if you have the time (and want to be feels-punched in the gut)!**

 **Self-advertisement over. Remember, reviews mean motivation, and motivation means more story; the second I have the entire thing ready I can kick up the update schedule!**

 **(Currently, I'm stuck on chapter 10. Luffy and Koala are gonna have adventures but I have no clue what that entails).**

 **Aaaanyways, see you all next week!**


	5. Usopp's Head Explodes from Weirdness

**Aaand another alternate POV. Do you have any idea how much fun Usopp is to write? So much. So much fun. I had a blast with him.**

 **Thanks to all my followers, favoriters, and reviewers, you're all wonderfully amazing people! And to our new readers, remember, this updates every Wednesday around 4:00 EST, unless I get stuck or something. And now, let's get to the reviews!**

 ***muttering* Vanimelde, Guest, Bluejay, Johnny, orionthranduilion, Kat, PipeDream...everyone loves Dragon, huh? Wasn't really planning on writing him much. I'll add it to my omake pile...right along with the Whitebeard pirates and Ace pretending to be Luffy after all.**

 **lostdog200, thank you very much!**

 **Bluejay Blaze: eyyyyy**

 **Kat, thank you, I'm glad you're liking it! And yeah, Koala puts up with so much. Poor child.**

 **ClearWolf, like I said, I'll add Ace pretending to be Luffy to my omake pile. Sorry if he was a little OOC. As for the rest of the stuff, with Luffy and Koala and Blackbeard...well, that'd be telling.**

 **(Also, I don't know yet. _Shhhhh)_**

 **PipeDream, you win a gold star for Best Reviewer. Thank you so so much for your suggestions on what to do in Chapter 10, I'll definitely try and use some. And don't worry, we'll have plenty of shenanigans to laugh at!**

 **WritingClockwork, you'll find out in good time. Like. Four or five more chapters. But we'll get there, don't worry. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!**

 **LoganAlexander, I'm glad you like it! Don't worry, your hopes for the swap will be fulfilled. Probably gonna end the story soon after they switch back though. I don't really have the stamina, I guess you'd call it, for longer stories unless I have a clear idea of what I'm doing. Which I do, in this case!**

 **And now, onto the latest chapter of out story!**

* * *

Usopp had told plenty of whoppers in his time, but this story Luffy was trying to sell took the cake.

"Just to clarify…" Nami began, "You're Luffy's older brother, Ace? And you woke up in his body?"

"Yeah." Luffy nodded seriously. Usopp had to admit, he was pretty impressed. He'd never seen Luffy lie worth beans before.

There _was_ the slim chance that he was actually telling the truth, but that would just be too weird. Usopp's tolerance for weirdness had expanded since he'd joined the Straw Hat pirates, what with the rubber captain and sky islands and stolen shadows, among other people, places, and incidents, but some things were just _too weird_ for Usopp to accept without his head exploding. Body swaps were included on that list.

"And," Nami continued, a small tic in her eyes, "You need a way to contact Luffy, in your body, but you don't know where you landed, because your narcolepsy kicked in before you could find out?"

"Mm-hm," Luffy nodded, looking bored but still completely serious. Usopp started to get nervous. What if- just _what if-_ Luffy wasn't lying after all? Was this body-swapping thing _contagious?_ What if _Usopp_ caught the body-swap bug and woke up as, as, Zoro, or Franky, or Robin, or- _Kaya!_ What if he woke up as Kaya?!

" _And,"_ Nami concluded, almost growling, "You want to know if _we_ did anything that might have caused it?"

"That's about it." Luffy nodded for the third time.

"Okay," Zoro shrugged.

"JUST LIKE THAT?!" Usopp screeched. He would never understand just _how_ some of his crewmates could accept things so easily. Didn't they ever stop to wonder about the other possibilities? Didn't they ever think about the alternatives, the worst-case scenarios, the what-ifs?

Apparently not, because Franky was nodding, too. "That's gotta be rough, man, waking up as your little brother."

"I don't believe we did anything that might have triggered such a swap, Ace-san," Robin said with a smile.

Ace- _Luffy! Luffy until proven otherwise!-_ blinked at her. "Aren't you Ms. Allsunday? I thought you were with- wait, no, now I remember." He smacked a fist into his palm. "Luffy broke into Enies Lobby for you, didn't he? I read about that in the papers." He crossed his arms. "I wanted to throttle him for being so stupid. No offense," he added quickly.

Robin just smiled some more. "None taken."

Usopp felt beads of sweat form on his forehead. Luffy was _dedicated_ to this joke. It must have taken a long time to plan (Luffy didn't plan things, though, not on this kind of scale), but it was freaking Usopp out.

"Hey, Luffy," Usopp said, his voice shaking a little, "Good, great joke, b-but can we, maybe, drop it now? You're kind of freaking me out."

Luffy frowned at him with disappointment. "I guess I shouldn't have expected all of you to believe me." He didn't even look _upset._ Just _disappointed._ Usopp had seen Luffy look disappointed before, but _not like this._ This was another person looking out from Luffy's face.

Still, Usopp clung to his illusions. "Please, Luffy?" he almost whimpered.

 _(probably not)_ Luffy sighed, his arms still crossed. "So, what do I have to do to convince you skeptics?"

Sanji pulled his cigarette from his mouth, tapped it twice, and held up an index finger. "One word: _meat."_

 _(definitely not)_ Luffy didn't even blink, just frowned a little more. "What about it?"

"HE'S NOT LUFFY!" Usopp shrieked. No _way_ his captain could have kept up a lie in the face of meat, even if he'd been able to come up with one in the first place. No. Freaking. Way. "That's it," Usopp moaned, tears gushing down his face, "That's it, that's the weirdest thing that's happened yet."

"Weirder than Skypiea?" Robin asked innocently, "Or Thriller Bark?"

" _Yes,"_ Usopp said firmly. "Excuse me, I have to go die now, my 'if-something-this-weird-happens-my-head-will-explode' disease has finally caught up with me." And with that, Usopp collapsed dramatically.

"AHHH!" Chopper yelled, "Usopp's dead! Somebody get a doctor!"

"Ah, Chopper-san, I believe you are the doctor," Brook reminded him.

"Oh…right!"

"And Usopp's not dead," Nami said, crouching next to him. "At least, _he'd better not be."_

"AH! SCARY NAMI HAS SCARED ME BACK TO LIFE!" Usopp yelled, springing to his feet.

He got a hit on the head for his troubles. Some people just didn't appreciate a dramatic flair.

"Didn't you give Luffy some kind of paper last time we saw you?" Zoro asked as Usopp sulked and let Chopper nurse the bump on his head. "Said something like 'it'll bring us together again?'"

"My Vivre Card!" Luffy- no, it was Ace after all (sigh)- smacked himself on the forehead. "I forgot about that!" He glanced around briefly. "Where did Luffy put it?"

"It's in the band of his hat," Nami offered.

"What's a Vivre Card?" Sanji asked with a frown.

"It's a piece of paper that represents your life force," Ace explained, taking off Luffy's hat, "They're made by mixing fingernail clippings into paper. You can tear off pieces of it, and they'll move towards the biggest piece."

"What if the person with the biggest piece isn't the person that the paper represents?" Chopper asked curiously. Ace shrugged, then pulled out a small piece of paper from the hat's band and put the hat back on his head.

"Dunno. I don't think it matters, since I- I mean, my body- has the biggest piece, anyways." He held out the paper in the palm of his hand. "Watch."

Usopp came out of his sulk to peer at the paper with the rest of the crew. Sure enough, the scrap was twitching towards the side of Ace's hand; but as Usopp watched, it stilled, then started to nudge back towards Ace (in _Luffy's_ body).

"Is it supposed to do that?" Zoro asked, raising an eyebrow. Ace frowned.

"I don't think so."

"Ah, I think I may know the solution to this one!" Brook said cheerfully. Most of the crew turned to him in surprise.

"You do?" Sanji asked.

Brook nodded. "It appears to me that the paper is torn- oh, paper joke-"

"BROOK!"

"Yohoho! As I was saying, torn between Ace-san's physical body, which is goodness knows where, and his soul, which is of course here in Luffy-san's body."

"Huh." Ace blinked. "Yeah, that makes sense. So there you go- Chopper, right? That's what happens, it still moves towards the person it represents."

"So, hey, we follow this thing's nudging and we'll find Luffy-bro, right?" Franky asked, leaning over to get a closer look. "I bet I could rig up something like a log pose, maybe attach it to the helm- or, hey, you could get a couple of people and take the Mini-Merry if you wanted."

"The what?" Ace frowned, then shook his head. "Never mind. The trouble is, we can't expect Luffy to stay still." It was so _weird_ to see Luffy's face with such a serious expression! "If I could just get a message to him somehow…"

Usopp's brain started working again. "What if you got the news bird to do it?"

All eyes turned to him. Usopp gulped, but plowed on with his idea. "Nami gets a newspaper every morning, and Chopper can talk to animals. If you could convince the news bird to carry a letter for you, well…"

"That's not a bad idea," Zoro admitted.

Usopp puffed up his chest, his confidence restored. "It was nothing for the Great Captain Uso-"

"So are you gonna have Luffy come here, or are we gonna go there, or some kind of halfway deal, or what?" Sanji asked, talking over Usopp.

Ace looked almost embarrassed, which was an even _weirder_ expression for Luffy's face to make. "I hadn't really thought that far," he admitted.

"Ace-san, you are still travelling on your own, correct?" Robin asked with a smile that could have meant anything. Ace nodded.

"Yeah, that's right."

"Then it would be better for Captain-san to, ah, attempt to meet up with us on the next island."

"Luffy's navigation skills are crap," Zoro pointed out.

"So are yours," Nami hissed at him.

"I did say _attempt,"_ Robin pointed out with an innocent smile, "And with Captain-san's luck, he'll find his way there on his own."

Not even Usopp could argue with that. Oh, he could try, but the truth was, Luffy's luck was a force of nature. If Luffy wanted something, he'd get it, and may the powers-that-be have mercy on anyone in his way.

"Ah, I believe the news bird is arriving now!" Brook called, pointing a skeletal finger at the sky, "What wonderful timing!"

"You know," Usopp heard Ace muse absently as the others turned to look at the incoming bird, "I'm really glad I waiting until _after_ breakfast to explain all this."

* * *

 **I'll be seeing you guys again early this week, but you'll have to wait to figure out what that means! Enjoy, and don't forget to leave a review!**


	6. Post Chapter 5 Omake: Kiddie Switch

**Well folks, we're one-third of the way to the end of Triple Switch, assuming I manage to squeeze this all into fifteen chapters like I planned to. You know what that means?**

 _ **It means it's Omake Time.**_ **And as promised, I'm here early this week. Very early. So the omake doesn't interrupt your regularly scheduled chapters.**

 **This first omake is just for my own entertainment, but rest assured, come chapter 10 you'll get your time with the Whitebeards and Dragon and Ace pretending to be Luffy, among possibly others.**

 **But first; reviews!**

 **Right, mutteringsandramblings has commented on every chapter since this thing has started, that deserves a mention. Thanks, dude!**

 **PsychopathOnADiet, I'm glad my writing could brighten your day! I hope that you're doing okay- message me if you need to talk to someone, m'kay? Ya seemed kinda down.**

 **BluejayBlaze: B)**

 **Sele-chan, the spelling you're looking for it 'serious,' but I'm glad you liked how Dragon turned out, and I'm glad ya thought the last chapter was good!**

 **Azuregold,** **WritingClockwork, I'm glad you guys liked Usopp's POV! Hope you enjoy what's to come!**

 **And, ah, to a guest; I did actually mean to use 'sell,' not 'tell.' You ever heard of someone trying to sell a story? It was in that kind of context.  
**

 **Thorn D. Cinni, kokune, thanks!**

 **Kneoria, if you want a hint, read chapter 4 again. Carefully.**

 **To ANOTHER...couple of guests, actually; thanks so much for your kind words, I'm glad you guys liked it so much!**

 **And now without further ado, I bring you Kiddie Switch, in which nearly the same thing occurs, only while the ASL kids are...well, kids. And with a different trigger.**

* * *

The last thing Sabo had expected this morning was to wake up staring at his own face.

"AH!" Sabo yelled, jerking upright in shock. He rubbed his eyes hard and looked again, just in case he was seeing things. He really hoped he was seeing things.

The apparition or whatever it was stubbornly refused to disappear. Sabo hesitantly reached out and poked it. It mumbled something and shifted a bit, but nothing else happened. That settled it; it was _him_ lying down there, his body, his curly blond hair, his missing tooth. Which begged the question; if Sabo's _body_ was there, then what body was _Sabo_ in?

He looked down. He was wearing an orange tank top and loose black pants. _Ace's clothes._ Sabo reached up and found a chunk of hair long enough to pull in front of his eyes. It was a dark black-brown. Sabo glanced over at Luffy (or his body, at least), who was snoring away, and his own body, doing the same. That left only one conclusion; he was in Ace's body. So who was who? Was it only Ace and Sabo affected by this strange switch, or had Luffy been pulled into it, too?

Sabo wasn't in the mood to wait for his brothers to wake up before he figured this out. if he had to panic about it (and he _really_ wanted to panic about it), they would panic with him.

"WAKE UP!" Sabo yelled, startling himself as Ace's voice came out.

His body's eyes popped open, and Luffy's gave a muffled _snerk_ before his eyelids slid open.

" _Ace,"_ Sabo's body whined, "Why'd you have to do that? I was having the _best_ dream- hey, is that _me?"_

Luffy's body rubbed an eye blearily. "What's goin' on? We getting attacked?"

"That _is_ me!" Sabo's body (obviously occupied by Luffy) exclaimed, " _Cool!"_

Luffy's body (Ace's soul) stopped rubbing his eye. His gaze landed on Sabo as his hand dropped, and his eyes widened. "What the-"

"Well, brothers of mine," Sabo said in the dryest tone he could muster, "It looks like we've swapped bodies."

There was a long, drawn-out pause.

"Ace?" Luffy asked, though Sabo was uncertain if the question was directed at body or soul, "Am I allowed to scream about this?"

"Why are you asking _now?"_ Sabo asked. Normally, Luffy did whatever he wanted without waiting for permission.

"Dunno. Cause it's Sabo's scream?"

"Then ask Sabo," Ace said, rolling his eyes.

"Sabo? Can I-"

"Yes," Sabo said, "Screaming and generally panicking would be great right now."

And so, in three-part harmony, a shrill scream echoed through the forests of Mt. Corvo.

* * *

" _What're we gonna do what're we gonna do what're we gonna DO?!"_ Ace paced in a relentless circle, raking his hands through his- actually Luffy's- hair. Luffy had taken back his straw hat, which looked strange nestled atop Sabo's curls, but that was nothing compared to how strange Sabo's top hat looked sitting on his own head. "Take that off!" Ace snapped at Sabo, "It makes me look stupid!"

"Stop looking angry with Luffy's face," Sabo said, rolling his eyes as he pulled off the hat, "It looks _wrong._ Besides, you always look stupid." Sabo looked mournfully at his hat. "Can I at least wear the goggles?"

" _Why, you-"_ Ace started as Luffy laughed at them both, his familiar 'shishishi' somehow _off_ in Sabo's voice.

"Great, thanks," Sabo said, strapping them over Ace's forehead. Ace had to admit, if only to himself, that it didn't look half-bad.

"How do we fix this?" Ace asked, going back to his circle.

"I think we have to figure out how it happened, first," Sabo commented.

"That's easy!" Luffy beamed, "It's a mystery switch!"

"Yeah, but that doesn't really help us, Lu."

"Sure it does!"

Ace sighed and rolled his eyes.

"All we have to do is go back into the forest and find it, and it'll mystery switch us back!"

Ace froze. He heard Sabo suck in a breath.

"Wait…wait." Ace picked up one of the metal pipes lying around the treehouse and advanced on Luffy. "There was an _actual switch_ in the forest?"

"Mm-hm!" Luffy nodded, still beaming. "A mystery switch!"

Ace's voice (Luffy's, actually) was tight as he spoke (which was really all sorts of weird and not nearly as menacing as he wished it was). "Did you, by any chance, _flip_ the switch, Luffy?"

"Yeah, duh. I wanted to see what it did."

Ace slammed Luffy over the head. " _STUPID LITTLE BROTHER!"_

"OWW!" Luffy yelled, tears pooling in Sabo's eyes. "That hurt, Ace! Sabo isn't made of rubber!"

"I'm going to be pissed if I can still feel that when we switch back," Sabo commented, eyeing Ace with a mixture of amusement and annoyance.

"Let's just go find Lu's mystery switch," Ace grumbled.

He would properly beat up his little brother when they were all back to normal.

* * *

Luffy's brothers yelled at him the entire time they were looking for the mystery switch. Well, Ace yelled, which was really funny because it was like Luffy was yelling at himself, and so he couldn't stop laughing, which just made Ace even madder, and around and around and around.

Sabo was trying to calm Ace down and telling Luffy not to mess with mystery things, but Luffy wasn't really paying attention to Sabo, either. He was wondering more about if Sabo would suddenly fall asleep like Ace did.

"Hey, do you guys think we can still poop?" Luffy wondered.

"OF COURSE WE CAN, STUPID!"

"Please don't poop while you're in my body, Lu."

"What if I really gotta go?"

Sabo made a- what was the word?- a grimace. "If it's an absolute emergency. Let's try and find your mystery switch before it comes to that."

And that was about when Ace tripped over the mystery switch.

"Who put _that_ there?" Ace snapped, glaring back at the metal plate and lever set in the middle of the forest floor.

Luffy had to laugh. "Shishishi! Look, Ace, Sabo, it's the mystery switch!"

"This is the-?" Sabo began, and then there was a strange mystery light, and then Luffy was asleep.

-Switch-

When he woke up, Sabo's face was hovering over him, so Luffy figured they were back to normal.

"Aw, I wanted to have more fun with that," Luffy muttered. Then he blinked. That didn't sound like him.

"Way to go, Lu," Sabo-not-Sabo said, his slightly worried expression turning into a super-familiar scowl, "You're in _my_ body."

"But, Ace, you were the one who tripped on the mystery switch!" Luffy protested, sitting up. He grabbed his hat from Ace-not-Sabo's head and shoved it on his own, over the goggles Sabo had put there.

Ace flushed red. "Shut up."

"The switch is gone now," Sabo-not-him called, kicking at a mystery square of darker dirt, "It moved somehow."

"Then let's go find it!" Luffy beamed, standing up and dusting himself off.

Sabo laughed. "You should smile more, Ace," he grinned, nudging Ace, "Your face looks cute."

Ace's face got even redder. "Shut up. Let's just go find the stupid switch."

* * *

The switch was not as easily found the second time, or maybe it was the third, if you counted Luffy pulling it in the first place. Sabo would have settled for someone tripping over it again. He felt like the three of them had combed the whole forest, and they had found no trace of the switch except for a few more squares of dark dirt against the brown forest soil.

"It can't be in Gray Terminal, can it?" Sabo wondered aloud. Or worse- High Town…

"Oh!" Luffy waved his hand in the air. "Maybe it's with Dadan and them!" It was _so_ weird to see Ace actually looking happy. Even more surprising, Luffy had actually had a good idea.

"Good idea, Lu," Sabo nodded, "Let's go find the bandits."

"Find, hell," Ace grumbled, trudging past Sabo, "I grew up in this damn forest. I know _exactly_ where their damn base is."

So Ace took the lead, and the ASL trio went to visit the Dadan bandits.

"What the hell are you brats doing here?!" Dadan roared at them when they showed up, "I thought you had your own place now!"

"Lu was stupid," Ace snapped, storming past Dadan. She immediately shot a suspicious look at Sabo, who was suddenly reminded that at the moment, _he_ was Luffy.

"You were the one who tripped on it!" The actual Luffy protested, trailing after Ace.

"Hi, Dadan," Sabo said, deciding he might as well ask if the switch was here before they wasted any time checking, "Have you seen a kinda switch in the ground? About this long and this wide," Sabo indicated with his hands, "Metal base, wooden lever with a metal handle?"

Dadan scratched at her chin. "You know, something like that _did_ show up a while ago-" she broke off and glared at Sabo. "What's it to you, brat?"

Sabo went with his first instinct: imitate Luffy. He grinned as widely as he could and said in an upbeat tone, "It's a mystery switch!"

"Of course it is," Dadan grumbled as Sabo quickly rushed past her. He heard affection in her voice as she added, "Damn brat."

* * *

Ace made Luffy wait for Sabo to catch up with them before they pulled the switch.

"Hey," Ace nodded at Sabo as he rushed up to them, "How'd you deal with Dadan?"

"Pretended I was Lu," Sabo answered, waving a hand dismissively. "Worked like a charm. Ready to switch back?"

Ace nodded and moved to flip the switch, but Luffy grabbed his arm. " _What,_ Lu?" Ace snapped, scowling at his own face (god, that was weird- had he always had so many freckles?).

"Sabo hasn't gotten to flip the mystery switch," Luffy pointed out, "I did, and you tripped, which counts, but Sabo hasn't."

"Oh, fine," Ace said, rolling his eyes. "Sabo, get us back to normal!"

"And so, Luffy's body once again flips the mystery switch," Sabo said sardonically. "Third time's the charm, right?"

There was a flash of light, and then nothing.

-Switch-

Ace woke to see both Sabo and Luffy hovering over him, Luffy with a marker in his hand. His first thought was, 'thank god, we're back to normal.' His second thought was 'those assholes have been drawing on my face!'

"HEY!" Ace snapped, jerking upright. Luffy squealed and tumbled backwards before bursting into laughter. Ace growled and reached for a pipe, two of which were lying unnoticed on the floor.

"Hey, we didn't draw anything," Sabo said quickly, grabbing his arm. Ace noticed that his goggles were hanging around his neck, while Luffy's straw hat was on its owner's head. At least that shit was off of him. "We didn't have time," Sabo continued, "the bandits came in screaming at us; turns out we managed to swap them, too. You slept through it. Lu and I told them about the switch-"

"And now they're out looking for it," Ace guessed, "And they're fucking pissed at us."

"Yeah, pretty much," Sabo nodded. "Kind of lucky we didn't switch with one of _them."_

Ace shuddered at the thought. "C'mon, we gotta get out of here before they get back. Lu, get up! We're going back to the tree house!"

* * *

Luffy decided that today was easily one of the best adventures ever. He'd gotten to see Ace and Sabo using his face. He'd gotten to _be_ Ace and Sabo. The mystery switch had been flipped, not one but _three_ times. That was a record for mystery things happening!

Also, now Dadan and the bandits were all mixed up and running around to try and find Luffy's mystery switch. It was _hilarious._

"Don't let them know we're up here," Ace said in a low mutter, peering carefully out the window, "They'll kill us. The traps _should_ keep them out, but keep quiet." He glared over at Luffy, which made a lot more sense on Ace's own face than on Luffy's or Sabo's. " _Luffy,_ that means you."

Luffy giggled. He couldn't help it, the whole thing was just so funny!

"And if the switch shows up around here," Sabo added, "We run, because I'm _not_ spending the night trying to get back to normal."

"Oh, hey, yeah," Luffy realized, "It's getting dark!"

" _SHH!"_

Luffy stuck his tongue out at Ace, but whispered anyways. "Are we gonna be on lookout duty all night?"

"Just until moonrise," Sabo said, "Then we're going to go to sleep and just pray they don't find us, assuming nothing happens."

"Okay!" Luffy whisper, and settled in to wait with them, chattering about anything that came to mind and munching on meat from the bear they'd killed on the way back to their treehouse.

Moonrise came, and Sabo announced that if the bandits hadn't switched back by now, then they could wait until morning, and Ace grumbled something about Luffy being an idiot, and Luffy reminded Ace that he was the one who tripped over the mystery switch, and they fought until Sabo broke it up, and then they all went to sleep.

Luffy counted it as one of the funnest days he'd ever had.

* * *

 **And that was our first...rather short...slightly disjointed...omake. Like I said, this doesn't interfere with the regular Wednesday update, so I'll see you all here next Wednesday at four! Don't forget to review!**


	7. Sabo Makes A Grand Escape

**And now we resume our regularly scheduled story, updating every Wednesday at 4:00 EST.**

 **AFTER WE GET THROUGH THE REVIEWS THAT IS!**

 **Thanks to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing, I appreciate your support!**

 **mutteringsandramblings, I'm so glad my writing cheered you up!**

 **MasterPichu123, kokune, thanks for your support!**

 **Kneoria, I'm really glad you liked the chapter!**

 **Bluejay Blaze: eyyyyyyyy**

 **Thorn D. Cinni, the omakes (Kiddie Switch included) take place in a separate timeline from the main story.**

 **ClearWolf, xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, WritingClockwork, Reminiscence Awry, thank you!**

 **Everlight18, I'm glad you like the story, and thanks for talking about the little things, you have no idea how much that means.**

 **PipeDream: B)**

 **And NOW we finally resume our regularly scheduled story.**

* * *

Sabo woke up after what felt like forever, about seven or eight years of memories reeling in his head. He was lucky, in the sense that he'd been asleep for the flood, and all of it- right up to his boat being shot down on the whim of a Celestial Dragon- had take place as a very vividly detailed dream.

Well, not so vividly detailed at first. Things became much clearer once he met Ace. How old had he been then, five? Six? That would have explained it, he'd been old enough for his brain to actually store memories by then.

He couldn't believe Ace has misspelled his name to put Sabo's pirate flag in his tattoo. It was kind of sweet, but also amazingly dorky. Fire Fist Ace was a giant dork, and nothing was going to stop Sabo from teasing him forever, just as soon as he stopped reeling from the shock.

Sabo's mirth faded as he remembered Ace and Luffy had thought he was _dead_ for the past ten years. Of course Ace would misspell his name in honor of his brother's memory. It was just like him. Shit, Ace was going to be utterly pissed at Sabo for not contacting them, wasn't he? Never mind that Sabo had had amnesia…

Sabo's eyes landed on the sleeping transponder snail on the desk. _Shit._ Never mind Ace; _Koala_ was going to be utterly pissed at him for cutting off so suddenly. Ace's narcolepsy had kicked in at a bad time, but at least it had allowed Sabo to process his memories. He reached for the snail.

The door flew open. The innkeeper stood in the doorway, flanked by two burly Marines. "There he is!" the man screeched, pointing an accusing finger at him, "Fire Fist Ace! Get him!"

Something inside Sabo _twisted_ at being called by Ace's name, now that it had a whole new significance, but that wasn't particularly relevant. " _Shit!"_ Sabo yelled, out loud this time. He snatched up the transponder snail before doing a very stupid thing; charging at the Marines full force.

The theory was that anyone without the skill to stop him would get out of the way, and the ones who didn't would be at least knocked off-balance by the force of Sabo's body weight (or, well, Ace's body weight, anyways) slamming into them. The innkeeper was one of the former and dived out of the way. The Marines weren't so lucky.

Sabo supposed that it had been extremely fortunate that Ace's fire hadn't accidentally activated earlier. Perhaps it was because he'd been keeping such a tight hold on his shaken composure. Perhaps it was pure luck. Whether the cause was broken composure, his luck running out, or something else entirely, Ace's fire would be contained no longer.

As Sabo darted between the Marines, through the space the innkeeper had dived out of, he felt a strange sensation- a kind of stirring or a strange heat in his blood, and then as though his body temperature was rising, and a kind of prickling on his upper arms and back- and flames burst from his arms, shoulder to elbow, and from his shoulder blades.

Then he was past them, and still burning, the snail unharmed but clenched tightly in one had. Sabo didn't look back, just cursed to himself and tried to put out his flaming torso by willpower alone. He was only mildly successful, but he at least managed to reduce the fire to a low simmer. Now at least that was under a measure of control; he had to focus on escape.

The Marines were obviously here. Probably a ship or two full of them, considering Ace's notoriety. He'd have to stay out of the way of or take down any Marines he saw on land, make it to Ace's ship, and sail like hell.

He was not going to be calling Koala back for a while. She was going to kill him.

Sabo shoved the transponder snail inside the bag strapped to Ace's shorts as he burst out of the inn's front door. There were Marines surrounding the doors, of course, positioned in a semicircle around the doors, all but one pointing guns at him. Standing front and center was the one man without a gun; a large, formidable figure chewing on a thick cigar.

"Fire Fist Ace," the man- Sabo had definitely heard of him or seen him somewhere, but he couldn't for the life of him remember the name; wasn't it Captain Smokey or something?- growled, "We meet again."

"I'm afraid I'll have to cut our meeting short," Sabo shot back, shifting into a fighting stance, "I have a previous engagement." He began to stretch his fingers into the familiar Dragon's Claw, changed his mind, and clenched his hand into a fist, hardening his arm with Armament Haki.

Smokey's eyes got wide. "What kind of bullshit-"

"Dragon's Breath!" Sabo announced, and plowed his fist into the ground. It shattered, though not quite as violently as he had hoped for, and most of the Marines were sent flying. Smokey was the only one who managed to stay in one place, and that was only because he shifted into smoke to avoid impact (right, he had a Devil Fruit. Had he taken his name for the fruit, or eaten the fruit because of his name, or was it just coincidence, Sabo wondered).

Sabo dashed forwards, towards the docks. Smokey's hand clamped down on his shoulder, but that shoulder burst into fire without control, just reaction, and Smokey yanked his hand back, cursing. Sabo kept running, letting his shoulder burn, and spotted more Marines. He readied himself for another attack-

Something slammed into his back, and all energy left him. The fire on his shoulder sputtered and went out. Sabo gasped, then tripped, sprawling forwards on the ground. Something was being pressed between his shoulder blades, sapping his energy, making him feel weak and nauseous, like seasickness… _seasickness!_

"Seastone," Sabo grunted, clenching a fist.

"That's right," Smokey growled, "You got away from me in Alabasta, but you won't escape this time, Fire Fist."

Sabo wondered what happened in Alabasta, then put the thought firmly out of his head. He had to get out of this. How? Sabo's mind churned sluggishly against the draining seastone and its enhanced seasickness. He managed to dredge up an idea- not a very good idea, but the only one he had. He'd have to trust a lot to luck. Fine.

Sabo managed to turn his head enough to get a good look at Smokey. "Oh, I'm not Fire Fist," he said, as airily as he could manage, "I'm just borrowing him for a while."

Smokey's eyes went wide again, then narrowed. "That's impossible. You have the Devil Fruit. What kind of game are you-"

"I _said_ I was _borrowing_ him, didn't I?" Sabo managed to roll his eyes. " _Listen,_ why don't you. Perhaps I ought to borrow _you_ next." He had no idea what he was doing. "Yes, that would work quite well. Better than you lot constantly chasing me."

Smokey scoffed. "Even if you _could_ 'borrow' me, you'd never make it off the island. My men have heard your claims; they'd never let you escape. Between seastone cuffs and Tagashi…" his perma-frown deepened briefly.

Sabo tried for a grin and made Ace's voice as scary as possible. "Well, then, I'll just have to _kill them,_ won't I?"

He heard several Marines squeak in fear.

"He's bluffing!" Smokey snapped, "Fire Fist is just Fire Fist, and nothing else!"

"You're quite wrong there," Sabo said, laughing a little at the truth of it. Smokey grunted and pressed his seastone jitte harder into his back, and Sabo's nausea and weakness intensified.

"What kind of monster would you have to be, anyways, to be able to do something like that? A ghost?" Smokey asked scornfully.

Despite the nausea, Sabo actually grinned. He'd just had an idea that he wished he'd thought of earlier, but now would do just fine. "Oh, much worse." He managed to shift his fingers into the Dragon's Claw position. It wasn't quite right, since Ace's hands couldn't stretch into the claw as easily as Sabo's, but it would do. Sabo pulled on all his willpower to harden his arms. "Have you ever heard of the Revolutionary Army?"

Then he clenched both hands into the ground as tightly as possible. It wasn't a very powerful attack, and it didn't go far, but it was enough to destabilize Smokey's footing and get that stupid seastone off of Sabo's back. Sabo shot to his feet, involuntarily bursting into flames, and charged at full speed for the docks.

The sight of Fire Fist Ace completely on fire and grinning like a madman (Sabo could not _believe_ that had actually _worked_ and was thoroughly elated about it, hence the grin) was enough to dissuade most sane Marines from getting in his way, and the bullets that _were_ fired passed through him harmlessly, leaving only circles of flame that tickled and did not help him look like any less of a grinning maniac.

He made it to the pier without any significant trouble and leaped onto Ace's boat, careful not to put his flaming feet on the bag with Ace's hat and beads and other supplies. "Now, how does this-" Sabo began, uncertain how to get the boat moving, but then he put his (still flaming) foot in a spot very close to the engine, and the engine started in a roar of fire. Sabo quickly touched a burning finger to the rope tethering the boat to the pier, and as that fell to cinders, Ace's ship roared forward, spewing flames behind it.

"You never did understand _subtlety,"_ Sabo yelled, laughing hard, "Did you, Ace?!" He zoomed past the Marine ships, swerving to avoid cannonballs so smoothly he surprised himself (Ace's muscle memory probably had something to do with it). He was sure the Marines would be in hot pursuit _(heh._ Puns) any moment now, so he'd have to take down the ships. How was he going to do that?

Sabo glanced down at his flaming hands, then back at the ships. "It's worth a try," he muttered. He circled around the ships so they were lined up and pointed a fist at them. "I'm borrowing your trademark, Ace!" Sabo said to himself, then yelled at the top of his lungs, "FIRE FIST!"

Sabo wasn't entirely sure how he'd managed it- beginner's luck, perhaps- but a plume of flame slammed through the Marine sails, torching them to cinders. He took the opportunity to escape.

Some time later, Sabo finally remembered about calling Koala. She really was going to kill him.

* * *

 **Sabo gets all the fun parts, doesn't he?**

 **Remember, kiddos, write those reviews! We're two shy of a hundred now!**


	8. Luffy is Not Allowed to Use the Snail

**Welcome to a new chapter of Triple Switch, where I disappoint a lot of people who wanted to see Dragon!**

 **Don't worry. It's going in the omake. Probably. Hopefully. If I can find the motivation to write that omake. It's hiding rn.**

 **Thanks to all my followers, favoriters, and reviewers! To my new readers; this updates every Wednesday at 4:00 EST!**

 **Now, to reviews!**

 **Krystal 'Demon' Sanate, here's your new chapter, enjoy!**

 **Kurapikababu, thank you so so much! I'm glad you're enjoying the fic!**

 **Bluejay Blaze, u right. Whoops. I'm afraid answering that question would be telling, but don't worry, I'm pretty sure you'll enjoy how this turns out.**

 **PsychopathOnADiet, Amaspa, WritingClockwork, Vanimelde Melindel, thanks, I'm glad you liked the chapter!**

 **mysteryreader6626, I'm glad you reviewed this time, thank you!**

 **Kneoria; :D**

 **Raynnaly, thank you for getting around to reviewing! It was fine, don't worry.**

 **Thorn D. Cinni: ;)**

 **myanimeobsession, enjoy the chapter!**

 **GreenDrkness, I'm glad you're liking it!**

 **Ahhh I put off answering those way too long. Anyways; here's this week's chapter!**

* * *

Luffy pouted, swinging his legs aimlessly as he sat in a chair. Sabo had finally called back, and he couldn't even talk to his older brother. Koala had tossed him out of the room they were in, saying something about a 'private conversation,' so Luffy had pulled a chair up next to the room's door and was waiting.

"This isn't fair," Luffy huffed, crossing his arms. A few of the people passing by had given him odd looks, and Luffy wasn't sure why, but he didn't really care. He just wanted to talk to Sabo again. Actually, that was the only reason he was still sitting here. Just in case his dad or Koala came out of the room and said he could use the snail.

At least he wasn't hungry. This was a strange new experience for Luffy, because he was _always_ hungry, but sometime as he was eating, his stomach had started to ache. He hadn't quite realized what it meant until he'd mentioned it to Koala, and she told him he felt _full._

Luffy hadn't known you could stop being hungry. It was kind of nice and kind of cool and mostly _weird,_ but a neat weird.

But it wasn't that important right now, because they were still talking to Sabo, and they still wouldn't let _him_ talk to Sabo, and he still didn't have his hat, and he missed his crew. He was bored, and his hat was missing, and he didn't have his crew with him, and he didn't know where the _Sunny_ was, _and Sabo wasn't dead_ and that still made him amazingly happy, but he couldn't _talk_ to him. Or Ace. Luffy wanted to talk to Ace, he still had to tell him Sabo wasn't dead.

"I wonder where Ace is?" Luffy wondered idly, "Huh. If Sabo is Ace, and I'm Sabo, does that make Ace me?" He was pretty sure it did. The thought made Luffy laugh. "Shishishishi! I wonder how he's doing?" Luffy paused, glancing at the door. Nothing happened. Damn, he _really_ wanted to talk to Sabo. "I bet if Ace was here, they'd let _him_ talk to Sabo," Luffy sulked, sinking down in his chair. He was _so_ bored.

Luffy didn't think much, usually. It made his head hurt. But he didn't want to leave in case someone came and told him that the 'private conversation' was over and he could talk to Sabo now, and also because Koala had threatened to do terrible things to him and his food if he wandered off. And so Luffy, in desperate need of entertainment, began to think.

Almost the first thing that happened was that Luffy realized Sabo wasn't made of rubber. That hadn't quite sunk in earlier, even though Koala had been able to hit him and it _hurt-_ after all, Nami and Gramps could do the same thing. Luffy sat up a bit and pulled on his finger, and nothing happened except for a weird mystery pop when he pulled hard enough. Then he yanked at his cheek, which went next to nowhere and actually hurt when he kept pulling.

Luffy had been made of rubber for so long that _not_ being a rubberman was almost as interesting as _actually_ being a rubberman. But there was only so much he could do with that without leaving his chair. Luffy got tired of it quickly and frowned at his hands- Sabo's hands.

 _Sabo's hands._ The thought was kind of strange. They didn't belong to Luffy, even though he was the one moving him. They weren't his, weren't the hands he'd trained with and fought with and ate with, they were _Sabo's,_ and somehow Luffy was using them-

Luffy didn't feel too good. His head was starting to hurt, and his stomach felt really really weird. Thinking had never made his stomach feel funny before, just gave him a headache, but he didn't think much in the first place, so-

Wait, no. That was gas. Luffy had to go to the bathroom. "Aren't they done talking yet?" Luffy whined.

Koala came out of the room at about exactly that moment. Obviously, Luffy asking about it out loud had caused this mystery miracle.

"Come on," she said, making a 'get up' motion, "Stop sulking, you're making Sabo look bad."

Luffy bounced to his feet. "Do I get to talk to Sabo now?"

"Not now, but he said hello." Koala started walking, and Luffy followed her.

"No fair," he muttered with a small pout.

"If it makes you feel better," Koala said with a roll of her eyes, "We're going to see him now."

"Really?!"

"Yeah. I've just got to tell Hack, and grab a few things, and then we'll be heading out to meet him." Koala smiled. Not at Luffy, but still. She looked…brighter when she smiled. Happier.

"Just us?" Luffy asked, and Koala's smile vanished.

"No, Hack's coming with us, that's why I've got to tell him."

"Who's Hack?"

Koala glanced at him. "He's the Fishman Karate Instructor, I'm his assistant. He usually partners with me and Sabo on missions."

"Oh! That's why that fighting stance seemed familiar!" Luffy realized, smacking a fist into his palm. Koala started.

"You've fought Fishmen?" She asked, her eyes narrowing.

"I kicked Arlong's ass!" Luffy grinned.

"Arlong…?" Koala repeated, her eyes widening.

"Yeah, he was a jerk. He made Nami cry," Luffy said, his face darkening for a moment. Koala seemed frozen, and when she didn't respond, Luffy's thoughts drifted back to what she'd said earlier: _they were going to see Sabo!_ "Hey, are we going to see Ace, too?" Luffy asked.

Koala snapped out of her trance or whatever it was and shook her head, but Luffy was pretty sure that was to clear it, not a no. "We're going to try. Sabo got a letter from Fire Fist before he hung up. It turns out that…your brother…figured that _you,_ Straw Hat-"

"It's Luffy," Luffy reminded her. She kept forgetting that.

Koala gave him a mystery look. "…Luffy. He figured that you were in his body and wrote a letter to you. Sabo wrote back to tell him about the rendezvous."

"The _what?"_ Luffy made a face.

"The _meeting place._ So, anyways, I'm going to track down Hack and get my things, and then we're going to go."

Luffy pretty much vibrated with excitement. Him and Ace and Sabo were all going to be together again! _All three of them! Together!_ Oh, and Ace would bring the _Sunny,_ and so his nakama would be there, and they would have _meat_ and his _hat_ and holy _shit_ it was going to be the best day EVER!

The only problem was that his stomach still felt- oh, right. "Koala?"

"Yeah?" Koala's expression froze for a second. Luffy couldn't imagine why.

"I gotta go to the bathroom."

Koala's expression turned to something like panic. "Can't you just hold it?"

"Nooooo," Luffy whined, "I gotta go!"

"Urgh- fine, but stop _whining!"_ Koala started moving at a fast pace.

"Why?" Luffy wondered.

"Because you're in _Sabo's_ body!" Koala almost spat out, "And it just looks, sounds, it's all so _wrong!"_

"Huh?" Luffy still didn't know what she was talking about.

Koala whirled on him with narrowed eyes. "There are some expressions that should never be seen on Sabo's face, some things that he should never do, some tones that he should never use." Her teeth were gritted, Luffy could tell by the way her voice came out. "And you _keep- using- them!"_

Luffy considered. He felt an edge of understanding somewhere, connected to something he was thinking about earlier, but he didn't _like_ thinking. Thinking was _hard._ And it made him feel weird. So he ignored it. "I still don't get it."

"You're hopeless," Koala huffed, then pointed at a nearby door. "Bathroom's through there."

"That's not where it was earlier," Luffy noted.

"We have more than one bathroom, Luffy," Koala said rolling her eyes.

"Hey, you finally remembered!" Luffy beamed at her.

"It's a little hard to forget," Koala grumbled as he moved past her, "Seeing as it's the entire problem."

Luffy wondered what she meant by that. He shrugged it off as he went into the bathroom.

There was someone already in- wait, no, that was the mirror. Luffy made a face at Sabo's reflection. It looked weird. Sabo already looked weird, with the long hair and not a having a gap and the burn and no hat, but, like, weird _er_. Luffy made another face. Then he paused, and made a different face, one he'd seen Sabo make before; calm, happy, smiling at his brothers, not involved in whatever argument Luffy and Ace were having, but ready to step in if they took too long.

And suddenly the face in the mirror was totally, completely Sabo, ten years of differences be dammed. "Sabo," Luffy whispered, hearing his- no, _Sabo's_ \- voice, and watching Sabo's mouth for the word. His eyes stung.

He was getting that funny feeling in his stomach again, which reminded him _why_ he was in the bathroom. Luffy pulled his eyes away from the mirror and quietly promised himself he wouldn't look again. He wanted to see Sabo's face with _Sabo_ using it.

A random thought made its way into Luffy's head as he was flushing, something about hats and all three of them having one. Luffy jumped on it.

"Yeah," he nodded to himself, "Sabo and me had hats when we were kids, and now it's me and Ace." Did Sabo still have his hat? He was pretty sure Koala had mentioned a hat. Luffy opened the bathroom door and spotted Koala pacing nearby.

"I can't risk not being here when he comes out," she was muttering, "Who knows where he'd-"

"Hey, Koala?" Luffy called.

Koala jerked to a stop, her mouth snapping shut. Luffy plowed on with his question. "Do you still have Sabo's hat? And do you know where it is?"

"Um, yes. Why?"

"I wanna wear it," Luffy explained, "So Ace'll recognize Sabo when we see him. Also, if I can't have _my_ hat, I wanna wear Sabo's."

Koala made a mystery expression that Luffy half-recognized but couldn't quite name. She was quiet for a moment before speaking.

"Fine," Koala sighed, "We'll tell Hack, get my things, get Sabo's hat, grab Hack, and _then_ we are _leaving."_

That sounded great to Luffy, and her told her so. For some reason, she saw that as a reason to punch him.

(It felt like a friendly punch, though, more like one Ace would give him than one that Nami would. Luffy counted that as a small success.)

* * *

 **See you next week, kids! Don't forget to leave a review!**


	9. Ace is the Universe's Punching Bag

**Heeeyyyyy, we have a new record for Longest Chapter!**

 **Okay, welcome back to Triple Switch, updating every Wednesday at 4:00 EST! Than you so much to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing! We'll get to the story in a minute- you guys are gonna either love this chapter or hate it- but first, reviews!**

 **Bluejay Blaze, I know, right? You've used that as a plot point in your story, too. *double pistols***

 **mysteryreader6626, thanks for the good luck wishes. I'm afraid we don't have more then a few passing references in this chapter, but don't worry, I've got something planned for the Whitebeards. Ace hasn't really thought of contacting them, he's slightly distracted.**

 **Reminiscence Awry, xXGwenStacyXx, both of you are pretty much spot on in your comments.**

 **Alsheon, I'm really sorry that she seems kinda bitchy (truth be told, I do sort of agree that the screaming is an overreaction, and I did rewrite part of that chapter in the original google docs, but then I forgot to transfer it over, and, well, too late now). Give the girl a break, though; she's really stressed out, she's got a lot to deal with right now, and there hasn't really been a lot of time for her to process it properly. She'll be calmer after it's had time to settle in and she's had some time to think about it and come to terms. I'm glad you like the story overall, though!**

 **TheRealEvanSG, thank you so much! I'm glad you think I'm doing good with the characters, and I'm really glad you like the story!**

 **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, WritingClockwork,** **UnderTakerxXxMadnesS,** **we're coming up on the reunion. Just...lemme see here- *muttering* Sabo, Koala/Luffy, Omake, Interlude- four more chapters, and two of those aren't technically weekly updates!**

 **Kneoria: Enjoy the chapter (and the reactions) B)**

 **Thorn D. Cinni, I'mma say again; I know, right?**

 **PipeDream; spoilers, kiddo. Read and find out!**

 **LittleRuky, I'm working on that last bit. I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and I hope you like this chapter!**

 **Aaaaand finally, to a Guest: True, I can see that, but couple of key facts you're missing: Sabo's sending a letter first, and Ace isn't going to see Sabo right away. Also, there's the whole Luffy-is-in-Sabo's-body-and-Sabo-is-in-Ace's, which complicates things a bit. Any other situation and you'd probably be right, but...well, I've got things planned.**

 **And now, to the chapter- this is really one where I've either nailed Ace's character or made him seriously OOC, and I can't tell which. Eh. I hope you guys enjoy it regardless!**

* * *

Ace quickly discovered that his situation of being in his little brother's body was not only believable for the Straw Hats, but also a major source of entertainment. Mostly, that meant telling stories about his adventures- before and after joining Whitebeard, and that awkward murder-attempt-filled period in between.

Ace felt kind of bad that Luffy wasn't around to hear these stories, but he really doubted Luffy would've been able to sit through them, anyways. He might've been _listening,_ but he wouldn't stay _still_ and listen, and that had always been a major source of distraction and aggravation for Ace. At least this audience could listen without running around or interrupting every five minutes or…well, nobody else could really entertain themself with their rubber ability, since no one else _had_ it, but still.

And that brought Ace to his _second_ major entertainment value: his reactions to Luffy's rubber body.

The liar, Usopp, started it. He happened to be sitting next to Ace at the table while Ace was talking about how he'd formed the Spade Pirates, and right as Ace was explaining how they'd gotten a proper ship (a _bigger_ ship, actually, Ace wasn't quite sure about _proper)_ , he felt a tugging on his cheek.

Ace cut off mid-sentence and turned to stare at Usopp, who was still holding his cheek and had pulled it almost to the edge of the table. "…What are you doing?" Ace asked with a slight chill in his voice (well, Luffy's voice, which worked oddly well). Usopp squeaked and let go, and the skin snapped back so suddenly Ace reeled and almost fell off the bench.

Damn. And Luffy barely budged when someone did that to him- Ace knew from experience. Maybe Ace had been underestimating his little brother.

He'd bet anything that Luffy still couldn't beat him in a fight, though.

"Sorry!" Usopp was saying frantically, "I just, it's just, I'm not sure what I was thinking, actually, but I wondered if you'd actually seen Luffy's Gum Gum powers- well I mean of course you've _seen_ them, I meant if you'd used them, and Luffy doesn't mind when we pull on his face so I thought…" Usopp's voice trailed off. "Sorry," he said again.

"It's fine," Ace said. Then, recalling manners lessons from Makino, "Apology accepted." _I guess,_ he added silently. "Just…don't do it again."

If that had been awkward, what happened later earned a place on Ace's top ten list of humiliating experiences.

It began innocently enough (provided 'innocent' had a very loose definition). Ace was kind of bored, and curious about the fighting abilities of his little brother's crew mates, so he dug up a knife to fight with and asked Zoro for a spar. Zoro looked at him, and Ace could see him doing a quick assessment, judging Ace's skill against Luffy's- what he knew of Ace's skill, at least. Then the swordsman grinned. Ace could practically hear the words in Zoro's mind: ' _A challenge.'_

"Sure," Zoro said, casually unsheathing his swords. Ace had wondered how he could fight with three of them, and found it almost funny that he stuck the third in his mouth. It did make a weird kind of sense, but Ace had no clue how he managed to speak so clearly while holding it with his teeth. "I gotta warn you, I'm not gonna go full out. You're not used to…all this, and I don't wanna accidentally kill my captain."

"You think I'd let my little brother get killed?" Ace shot back with a grin. He had to admit swordsman had a point, though. "But yeah, okay. Just don't be afraid to push."

Zoro managed to grin around his sword.

So they fought, and Ace ended up spending a lot of time dodging and rolling and blocking with his knife as Zoro sliced through the air. Luffy's first mate was good- not as good as, say, Vista, but _good._ Ace was out of practice fighting without his Devil Fruit powers, and on top of that, he wasn't used to the way Luffy's body was built- his brother was slimmer and lighter and more flexible- and, of course, _rubber._ Ace managed to get in a few kicks, a couple punches, once a stab (well, a graze), but he still spent most of the fight dodging. On top of that, he could tell Zoro was holding back. That was annoying. After a while of this, Ace threw a punch out of sheer frustration.

This was the part where the humiliation started. He missed Zoro (or maybe Zoro dodged), and Ace's (Luffy's) arm stretched clear across the deck. Ace had to bite down a yell of surprise. He yanked his arm backwards, almost instinctively-

And punched himself in the nose as it snapped back into place.

"MOTHER _FUCK!"_ Ace hated to say he _shrieked,_ but there was no denying that was what came out of his mouth. It wasn't so much that it _hurt_ (although it did, _really badly,_ but Ace could deal with that, easy); it was more out of pure shock. Ace clutched at his nose and nearly fell over, only barely regaining his balance- and then fell over anyways, because apparently the universe had looked at him and said, "That guy. Roger's brat. That's the poor unlucky shmuck who's going to be our punching bag," and proceeded to make Portgas D. Ace's life as horrible as possible at every turn.

So Ace lay there on the floor, one hand over his definitely bleeding nose, cussing up a storm, and wondering how this day could possibly get any worse.

"You okay?" Zoro asked.

" _Fine,"_ Ace replied, a little too loudly. He pushed himself into a sitting position, black spots dancing in his vision. Blood dripped into his mouth. "Shit-"

"AH! LUFFY- I MEAN ACE! DOCTOR- wait, that's me!" Chopper rushed over to Ace. Zoro shifted out of the way and sheathed his swords. "Are you okay?!"

"I think I might've broken my nose," Ace muttered, "Luffy's nose, I mean."

Zoro snorted. "You need to get used to the recoil."

Ace bit back the ' _shut up'_ that sprang to mind. "Yeah," he nodded instead, making more spots dance across his vision.

"Stay still," Chopper ordered. The reindeer reached up and carefully prodded Ace's nose. Ace winced. "I don't think it's actually broken, but it's definitely badly bruised. How did you hit it?! Blunt hits shouldn't _do_ this kind of damage!"

Rubber could still hurt rubber, apparently. Ace felt his face redden, which probably didn't help the bleeding. "I, uh, accidentally punched myself in the face."

Chopper stared at him. Zoro snorted again, determinedly not looking at Ace. Blood dripped off of Ace's chin, jolting Chopper back into action. "Ah- tilt your head back- slowly- and pinch the bridge of your nose to stop the bleeding," Chopper directed. Then, as Ace was doing that, "You _punched yourself in the face?!"_

Ace groaned. "Please stop talking about it."

"Who punched themselves in the face?" Dammit, when had Nami gotten here? Why did she have to poke her nose into his business? _Why did Chopper and Zoro both have to point directly at Ace?_ "Wait, really?" Nami asked, her expression lighting up into something like glee.

"Stop _talking_ about it," Ace repeated, " _Please."_

"Sure, for 8,000 Beri," Nami smirked. Ace mentally corrected himself- that expression was _greed._

"The hell makes you think I have that kind of money?!" Ace demanded.

"Suit yourself," Nami shrugged, and turned towards another person coming onto the deck. "Hey, Sanji-kun! Guess what happened!"

And now Ace's humiliation was complete.

By the time Ace's nose stopped bleeding (so like, three minutes), everyone on the ship had heard about Ace's incident, and Ace had a bag of ice he was supposed to use to keep the swelling down, but 'lost' within five minutes of getting it.

"This incident doesn't leave the ship," Ace told the crew while they were all gathered around to witness his embarrassment, "I can't let this get back to Pops and the rest. They'll never let me hear the end of it." Marco would've made snide comments for months. Izo probably would have offered 'makeup to cover that bruise.' And Thatch, Thatch would have…

…Well, it didn't matter what Thatch would have done. Another flare of anger at Teach curled up in Ace's gut. When he got his hands on _that bastard-_

"Ace-bro?" Franky said in a concerned, slightly apprehensive tone, "Are you doin' okay?"

Ace hadn't realized how angry he must've looked until the tension drained out of his face. "What? Yeah, sorry, I'm fine."

"Scary," Usopp whispered.

"I do have to say," Robin said with an enigmatic smile, "It's very odd to see such seriousness on our captain's face for so long."

Ace's laugh was a little forced. Just a little.

"I know!" The skeleton musician, Brook, said cheerily (Ace was pretty sure the cheerfulness was slightly forced, too), "How about a song to lighten the mood?"

Ace grinned, for real this time. "Sounds good to me."

"I'm getting started on lunch," Sanji said, almost to himself, as Brook picked up his violin and cleared his nonexistent throat. Ace wondered how that worked.

" _Going to deliver Bink's sake-"_

"Wait," Usopp said, squinting at the sky, "Brook, sorry to cut you off, but isn't that the news bird?"

Everyone looked up. Sure enough, it was.

"What's it doing back here?!" Nami cried.

"Well, we did write Captain-san a letter," Robin pointed out, "Isn't it reasonable to assume he could have responded?"

" _Luffy?"_ Ace asked, in unison with Nami, Zoro, and Usopp. The four of them exchanged glances before giving various negative answers.

"No way."

"Not likely."

"Nuh-uh."

"He can barely _write."_ The other three stared at Ace. "What?"

"I see your point," Robin smiled.

"Besides," Franky added, "It's only been a few hours."

"Five," Ace offered offhandedly. He was met with more stares. " _What?"_

"Right, anyways, there's no way Luffy-bro is that close," Franky finished.

"Well, I mean, it's a _bird,"_ Usopp pointed out, "Flying's faster than sailing."

"He's not wrong," Zoro nodded.

" _Not wrong?"_ Usopp began, but Nami made a 'be quiet' gesture at him.

"Let's see what it has," she said, stepping up to the bird as it landed. It had a letter in its beak, which it dropped in Nami's outstretched hand before taking off with a squawk and a scattering of feathers.

Chopper blinked. "That was a weird comment."

"What did it- oh, never mind. This is definitely for you, Ace." Nami held the letter out towards him. Actually, it was just a folded piece of paper with Ace's name written on it, three large, almost stylized letters. Definitely _not_ Luffy's handiwork, but it looked familiar…

Ace unfolded the paper and began to read.

 _Dear Ace,_

That handwriting.

 _First and foremost, I should tell you that I'm not Luffy, although I did speak with him quite recently and I can assure you that he's safe._

Ace _knew_ that handwriting.

 _Secondly, why do you have a pen and paper in your bag, but not a shirt? What if you needed to go undercover? Are you so certain that you can always fight your way out- but then, I guess you are. Do you remember what happened with Porchemy, when we were kids?_

"No," Ace whispered, "No _way."_

"Ace?" Nami asked.

"He died…"

"Who died?"

Ace ignored the question and kept reading.

 _Well. I expect you'll be utterly pissed at me, but I swear, I never would have stayed away for so long if I'd known…if I'd remembered. I'm heading to the island you suggested in your letter- Amira, correct?- and Luffy will meet us there. Koala and Hack will be bringing him; they're my partners, I think you'll get along well._

 _I'm so sorry I didn't come back. I can't wait to see you._

"That bastard," Ace whispered. There were a thousand conflicting emotions battling in his stomach- anger, hope, disbelief, joy. He could barely bring himself to look at the signature. But of course, he did.

 _Your brother, Sabo._

Ace felt tears in his eyes. He tried to blink them back, but they just kept coming. "That _bastard,"_ he repeated, "He's alive!"

"Who's alive?" Chopper asked.

"Mine and Lu's brother-" Ace hadn't said his name since he'd 'died,' and now it felt strange in his mouth. Strange, but wonderfully familiar. " _Sabo."_

Sanji poked his head out of the kitchen. "Hey, shitheads, do you guys want-" he paused, taking in the stricken and amazed looks on everyone's faces and the tears pooling in Ace's eyes. "…I missed something important, didn't I?"

Ace was going to punch someone.

* * *

 **I now declare this International Torture Ace Day. Unless there's already one of those.**

 **Remember, kids, leave a review!**


	10. Sabo Figures Out What Happened

**Welcome back to Triple Switch, updates every Wednesday around 4:00 EST, etc. Thank you to all my followers, favoriters, and reviewers! In this chapter, we _finally_ figure out how the hell this happened in the first place!**

 **After we get through the reviews!**

 **LuffyxRuby,** **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, Krystal 'Demon' Sanate, ScarletRoofs, Monkey D. Funky, thank you, I'm glad you liked it!**

 **Bluejay Blaze, my thought was that Logia types in general are controlled largely by the user's will. The better their concentration or whatever, the better handle they have on their powers. Luffy's Gum-Gum powers are almost entirely body-only; he may be able to manipulate his body to his advantage, but so can others. And if you aren't expecting the recoil the comes from the powers, it can backfire on you much more easily than a Logia power, since you can't actually hurt yourself with a Logia power. That I know of. But yeah, Ace gets to see what it's like on the other end of the stick now.**

 **To a guest: U right  
**

 **kokune, thank you so much!**

 **WritingClockwork, don't we all. *pat pat***

 **Twilight Dusk: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯. Ace's only experience with Ace's crew was, what, two or three days in Alabasta? They seem more sensible than Luffy. To be fair, nearly _everyone_ is more sensible than Luffy by comparison. Ace is counting on that plus intimidation. Also, Sabo's letter kinda wiped the earlier incident from their minds. Who _cares_ about that embarrassing thing that happened when your long-dead brother isn't fucking dead?! ...But yeah his brothers are going to hold that over his head forever if/when they find out.**

 **youshouldn'tneedtoknow: I know, right?**

 **Thorn D. Cinni, don't worry, you're gonna. Eventually. In another three chapters or so.**

 **Mary Eliza Von Teese, thank you, I'm glad you're liking it all so much! I'll do my best to put some of that in there, and I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Sabo had forgotten how _boring_ sailing alone was. He was almost always with Koala and Hack on missions, always had someone to talk to, some plan to go over and refine. Now, he was alone, and his only goal was 'get to Amira without attracting any more undue attention.' He was honestly tempted to call Koala again, but she was probably having a hard enough time handling Luffy without his little brother begging to talk to him or outright grabbing the snail. So, Sabo kept his gaze on the ocean and his log pose- well, Ace's log pose.

Sabo was lucky he was a good navigator, and used to dealing with the peculiarities of the New World, because otherwise he never would have been able to find his way to the same island Ace and the Straw Hats were heading to, Amira. But he was, so all was well. Koala, Hack, and Luffy, on the other hand, were going to have to pick up an Eternal Pose, and then make their way past the Red Line…

Sabo didn't envy them right now.

With nothing better to occupy himself with, Sabo's thoughts finally turned to _how in the world_ he, Luffy, and Ace had all ended up in each others' bodies. If he had to guess, he'd say it was probably Luffy's fault, but Sabo thought back to his mission with Koala. He was pretty sure he hadn't-

The realization hit Sabo so hard Ace's Devil Fruit powers failed entirely, and the skiff stilled in the middle of the ocean. Sabo quickly started it up again, then carried on with his revelation; _Yes, he had done something that could have caused this._ Sabo let out a groan, recalling exactly what it was that he'd been doing before he'd gotten knocked out.

~Flashback~

They'd been on a stealth mission; him and Koala, with Hack providing cover and a distraction. Their target was a cache of documents with vital information on certain…people of importance. It should have been simple; get in, get the information, get out. No need to take the documents, even, as long as they could relay the information.

They had gotten in just fine, and been helpfully undisturbed by the crew in possession of the papers as they relayed the information (Koala had even dug up a file on some therapist appointments, which weren't necessarily important but gave them some rather interesting phobias to laugh over and later exploit). The trouble started when Sabo found the ship's log and noted that the Midnight Crew had apparently found a treasure on their latest adventure. The way the treasure was described was…intriguing.

He'd managed to talk Koala into sneaking into the treasure room to take a look at it. Just in case it was important. Honestly, she was just as curious as he was, but she made a token protest just so she could claim she'd tried to stop him later on. Then they called Hack to let him know they were "gonna go check out some cool-sounding shit, we'll call when we're leaving." Then Hack made an _actual_ protest, but Koala cut him off in the middle of the first sentence. She and Sabo exchanged innocent smiles and 'oh-no-what-a-shame' shrugs. Not that anybody was around to see them.

It was laughably easy to sneak into the treasure room. The Crew had long-ago drunk themselves silly in celebration of…something. Maybe getting their hands on the treasure. Sabo and Koala slunk right under their noses into their hoard.

There was a barrel stacked on a crate like a makeshift pedestal about a foot right from the center of the room. It annoyed Sabo in a vague kind of way that it was off-center, but he ignored that in favor of being curious about the strange bronze object resting on top of the barrel. It looked a little like a strangely lengthened teapot. Sabo could have sworn he'd seen something similar before, but he couldn't for the life of him recall _where._

He was about to put it down to his amnesia, as he always did with things he half-recognized (and also as a running joke in the Army: 'Sabo, didn't I tell you to file a report?' 'Oh no, my amnesia is acting up again!' Sabo felt bad now for treating it so lightly- but it hadn't had anything to do with his amnesia, anyways), when Koala spoke up.

"It's a magic lamp," she'd said, somewhere between awe and disbelief.

"A _what?"_ Sabo had asked.

"A magic lamp- you know, like in stories? You rub it, a genie pops out and grants you wishes?"

Sabo whistled and picked up the lamp. "Really?" He examined it closely. "It looks like there used to be writing on here, but it's been worn away- by rubbing, I bet." He grinned at her teasingly and rubbed the side of the lamp himself. Koala rolled her eyes.

"Come on, Sabo, I don't think we can use this. Let's leave it and get out of here."

"No, I want to see the genie."

Sabo could have sworn he heard someone laugh, and then Koala punched him. "Would you stop making fun of me?"

"Sorry, Koala," Sabo apologized, "I didn't mean it like that. Can we keep it, though? It looks neat."

Koala snorted. "Sure, keep the magical lamp. What would you even wish for?" Her tone was teasing, and she was grinning.

"I wish I had my memories back, for one," Sabo started with a matching grin, then stopped a the stricken look on her face, as though she'd forgotten about…well, his amnesia. "I was joking, Koala," Sabo said quickly and in the most reassuring tone he could muster, tossing her the lamp, "It doesn't really matter if I remember or not."

"It wasn't a funny joke," Koala muttered as she caught the lamp, "I know you don't mind it, but your memories are important-"

"Not really," Sabo said, "Not to me."

"I know," Koala repeated with a small sigh. "Come on, let's-"

Then the door had been slammed open, and a drunken man wobbled in the doorway, a bottle of saké in his hand, his eyes wide as he stared at Koala and Sabo. He drew in a breath, and Sabo dashed forwards to knock the man out, but he had enough time to scream "INTRUDERS!" Before he toppled forwards- and instead of attacking the man, Sabo was nearly pinned by the falling weight.

"Shit, run!" Sabo called to Koala, barely maneuvering out of the way in time.

"This is your fault," Koala called back, "You can't run a stealth mission to save your life, can you?"

Sabo had a bad record of abandoning the plan in defense of his teammates (or, when with Koala, because they got bored- the two of them plus boredom never led to anything good. Some of the things they'd gotten up to in their teenaged years were still talked about), which had led to so very many busted spy missions. Not _total_ losses, since they mostly got some information, but still drawing undue attention to the Revolutionary Army. It was one of his greatest shortcomings.

"Come on!" Koala had said, "the air ducts are big enough, we can get out before anyone comes to-"

"You go," Sabo had replied, "I'll create a diversion."

"What?! Sabo! That's supposed to be Hack's job, come on, we can still get out-"

"I'm go-ing," he sing-songed, heading for the door.

Koala grabbed his arm. "Not without me, you aren't!"

He beamed at her. "We'll blow the stealth part of the mission together, then?"

"Not on your life," Koala huffed, shoving the lamp between her breasts, "I'm blaming you for everything when we get back to base."

Sabo stared at her (her _face,_ thank you very much, although admittedly his eyes flicked down to the lamp stuffed in her cleavage. _Once)._ He could have sworn he heard a perverted giggle.

"What?!" Koala snapped, "I don't have anywhere else to put it!"

Which was true enough. Sabo shrugged and stepped over the drunk guy. "Blow our cover on three, then?" He asked with a mischievous smile.

"Three," Koala replied with an impish grin, hopping over the man on the floor, and they had rushed out and attacked.

~Flashback End~

And then Sabo had gotten knocked out by someone slamming a rifle over his head and woken up in his brother's body. He'd gotten his jokingly said wish after all- in the strangest way possible.

"If there was a genie in that lamp," Sabo grumbled to himself, "I don't like its way of granting wishes."

Sabo had another realization that nearly shut off Ace's powers (only nearly, this time). He hadn't said anything about the lamp to Koala, since they'd been focused on getting together _to_ switch back, not _how_ it had happened in the first place. Sabo prayed that Koala would think of bringing the lamp on her own.

Otherwise, this swap could go on for a very long time.

* * *

 **Okay, guys, I'm afraid I have some bad news. There won't be an update next week. There's a lot of stuff going on at once and I am *really* stressed out, and I still don't have the damn thing fully typed up, and I haven't even _written_ the long-promised omake. I think I'll have to abandon it.**

 **So, here's the good news: as an apology for putting off the update, and cancelling the omake, the Monday AFTER next, April 25th, will be the start of a Blitz Update Week. Every day, Monday-Friday, there will be a brief-but-canon update in addition to the usual weekly chapter.**

 **Sorry for the break, and thank you all for reading! I'll see you all the Monday after next!**


	11. Smoker Has A Headache

**EYY I'M BACK! WELCOME ONE AND WELCOME ALL TO _BLITZ WEEK_**

 **We've reached over 200 followers! Nice!**

 **Thanks to everyone for following, favoriting, reviewing, and for waiting so long! Remember; since this is _Blitz Week,_ there will be a brief-but-canon update every day this week at...who knows when!**

 **We'll get to the story in a second, but first, reviews!**

 **To a guest; regardless of how fun the omake may or may not be, I have decided not to do it. Sorry, but hey, enjoy your week of updates!**

 **To a different guest, thank you for your well wishes!**

 **Azuregold, thank you so so much for your kind words! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Bluejay Blaze, NICE**

 **Kurapikababu, I'm glad you like the story so much! Honestly, I don't know what the bird said either. Something about 'stupid pirate crews' and 'flaming assholes' and 'that's the last time I do any off-the-grid work' after it was out of earshot. Maybe 'Next time, tell your living bonfire to deliver his own damn letters.' I dunno, man.**

 **Lunapok, thanks!**

 **kokune, thank you so so much! (And yes, it was. I am a filthy fucking Homestuck, welcome to my trash can of shame *thumbs up*)**

 **Thorn D. Cinni, I can't tell if you're disappointed or not. Regardless, a genie was the only thing I could think of. *Shrugs***

 **King-Elsa, thank you so so much! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Gabrielsangel23, thank you very much! Enjoy the update!**

* * *

Smoker felt a headache coming on.

Dealing with Portgas should have been a simple matter- or, at the very least, a straightforward one. There had been a call reporting Portgas's location, and he'd responded by getting a couple of ships to go get him. Smoker had tangled with Portgas before, he _knew_ that backup was needed. There should have been a fight, and it would have ended with Portgas either in chains or escaping. Again.

That, at least, had been expected. But there were a number of things that complicated it. First, there was the matter of Tashigi.

"Where were you?!" Smoker snapped at her when she finally showed up, only minutes after the sails of their ships had been torched to cinders.

"E-eh?" Tashigi blinked at him owlishly, her glasses perched on top of her head. "S-sorry, sir! I got…sidetracked…"

Smoker narrowed his eyes at her. "You got lost, didn't you."

"No!" Tashigi protested, "I just…took a wrong turn? And I asked for directions, but-"

"You couldn't read the signs," Smoker finished. They'd played this game before. "Put your glasses on, Tashigi. They're on your forehead. You've got to stop 'losing' them." Or whatever it was she did.

"Yes, sir," Tashigi said, sliding her glasses down onto her face, "Sorry, sir."

He'd been counting on her as backup, and she had gone and gotten herself lost. Or distracted. Or both. Whatever it was- and not for the first time.

Smoker sighed. "Well, you're here now. Listen up- here's what happened while you were _sidetracked."_

The second _complication_ was what Portgas had said while Smoker had him trapped.

"What?!" Tashigi's eyes went wide. "Fire Fist is connected to the Revolutionary Army?!"

"Or the thing inside him is," Smoker nodded. "I thought it was bullshit, but there's something about the way he said it…something about the way he acted." Portgas's voice had sounded _different_ from the last time Smoker had heard him. Something in the accent. He'd sounded almost… _almost…_ like a noble.

"This is big," Tashigi said, her hand drifting towards the hilt of her sword. She always did that when she was feeling apprehensive. "If the Whitebeards have allied with the Revolution- they could bring down the World Government in under a month! Letting immorality and chaos reign…" Her hand clenched around her sword's hilt. Smoker put his hand on her shoulder, to reassure and restrain.

"Yeah, or if the Army's figured out a way of possessing people. Tashigi, I've gotta go report this. I need you to start getting these ships back in working condition. And make sure every last one of the crew has something to do."

"Yes, sir!" Tashigi snapped off a salute. Smoker nodded at her and went off to make his call. Tashigi was a good kid.

The second complication led to the third complication; telling the higher-ups _about_ the complications.

Ugh. Just looking at that sentence gave him the beginnings of another headache.

Smoker had a rough outline of a written report. He glanced at it and rubbed his forehead. This was going to be a pain, he could already tell. Everything involving the Revolution was. Smoker picked up the snail and made his call. As the snail rang, he glanced at the outline again, pulling his thoughts together into a decent report.

"Who is this?" The snail snapped. No introduction. Lazy bastard. The higher-ups almost always were.

"Commodore Smoker, sir," Smoker said, forcing his tone into something like respect. "I have a report…"

"Smoker, eh? Not my subordinate, not directly. Why aren't you reporting to your own?"

Smoker bit back several scathing insults. Freaking asshole…

"The situation requires a…higher attention. I just came out of an encounter with Fire Fist Ace." Actually, it had been done with for well over half an hour now, but the other Marine didn't need to know that.

"Fire Fist?" Interest entered the man's voice. "Well, now. That changes things. Do you have him?"

"Unfortunately, no," Smoker said, a growl slipping into his voice, "He got me off guard and pulled a trick we didn't even know he could do." Clever bastard.

"I see." The man's voice was disappointed. "Your failure to capture Fire Fist will be noted." What an asshole. Smoker felt a headache forming in the back of his brain, looming like a distant storm. "Continue with your report."

Smoker took a deep breath. He had to keep this formal; he knew the type of jerk he was dealing with. "Early this morning, I received a call concerning Portgas's whereabouts. I commandeered two ships and set out for the given location-"

"Which was?" The man prompted.

Smoker crushed his cigar between gritted teeth. Keep it formal, don't lose your temper… "Rekan Island. The Faded Inn."

The other man made a 'hm' sound of acknowledgement. "Continue."

"We reached the island without incident," Smoker said, grinding out the words, "and surrounded the inn. Then Portgas came out." Smoker took a deep drag on his cigar, then blew it out. It helped. A bit. "That's about when things started going screwy." Shit. That wasn't formal.

"Do elaborate," the man said in a dry, condescending tone.

Alright, that was it. Fuck him, and fuck being formal. "Portgas used an attack we've never seen him do before," Smoker said, deliberately making his voice more casual. "Called it Dragon's Breath or some shit. Looked like he used Armament Haki to do it, too."

"Hm. Interesting." To Smoker's slight disappointment, the other Marine didn't pick up on the subtle insult. "Dragon's Breath, Dragon's Breath, why do I feel like I've heard that before?"

Smoker debated about mentioning the almost-noble accent in Portgas's voice, but he really didn't think it mattered much. He wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible. "That attack sent most of us flying, but I managed to pin him down while he was trying to escape. That's when he started acting strange."

The snail frowned. "What do you mean, Portgas was acting strange?" The question was almost a _snap._

Smoker, being the person he was, snapped back. "You heard me. He started talking crazy, crap about _borrowing_ Portgas, like he was a freaking demon or some shit."

"And he used Armament Haki, too, is that right?" The man asked in a musing tone.

"Yeah, cracked the damn ground and threw off my footing. Managed to wriggle out from under the seastone then, too."

"Interesting. Portgas has never been known to use Armament Haki before now, has he?"

Smoker gritted his teeth again. "Not once."

"Hm. Was there anything else?"

"Yeah, one other," Smoker said, pseudo-casually. "It was the damndest thing. Said- well, implied, really- that he was from the Revolutionary Army."

"The Revolutionary Army?!" The man demanded. "What were his exact words?!"

Yep, _here_ was the headache. Fucking Revolutionaries.

* * *

 **See you guys tomorrow; don't forget to leave a review!**

 **Edit: I have been informed that I misspelled Tashigi's name. I'm...mildly dyslexic, or something like that. Sorry about that, it's fixed now!**


	12. Koala Has A Flashback

**Welcome one and all to day two of Blitz Week!**

 **Thank you one and all to my followers, favoriters, and reviewers! Let's go over the reviews...**

 **SnowshoeBombay, he's definitely gonna before long. And that was kind of my thought as I wrote it, too!**

 **To a guest, I'm afraid it only gets shorter, except for perhaps the weekly update. That's the downside of having an update _every day_. But I'm glad you're liking it!**

 **Hiezen, I don't really have a name for the Marine Smoker's reporting to. Just...someone, I guess.**

 **lmao, thanks for pointing out my mistake! I'm glad you like the humor!**

 **Lunapok,** **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx,** **thanks!**

 **Thorn D. Cinni, I'm glad you like my plot device! I'll add your pity to the rest of the 'Smoker Sympathy' pile.**

 **Stelra Etnae, thank you very much! Enjoy this update and welcome to my...uh...is this a fan club? Well, the _story's_ fan club.**

 **XxFire-PhoenixxX, good point. Ahhhh well, it's far too late to fix that now, I just cleared out my old docs. Doc manager was getting crowded. And don't worry, we'll see the Whitebeards by the end of the week!**

 **And now, to our second chapter of the week, where we rejoin one of our main heroes of this story!**

 **...Briefly, at least.**

* * *

Koala found that travelling with Luffy wasn't nearly as bad as she'd thought it would be. All you had to do was make sure he didn't do anything stupid and keep him entertained. As long as you could do that, he was almost fun to be around.

It helped that Sabo _normally_ tended to do stupid things, and Hack was long used to wrangling him out of it. Koala, on the other hand, was more likely to be helping Sabo do the stupid thing or have suggested it in the first place (provided they weren't on a mission), so Hack had to get _her_ out of it, too.

However, Koala counted _this_ as a mission, and she and Hack together were barely enough to keep Sabo's hyperactive brother out of trouble. Fortunately, Koala had managed to stumble across a simple solution that kept Luffy both entertained and (mostly) out of trouble; getting him to talk about his nakama and their adventures.

He was babbling on about Sky Islands now, with wide, expansive gestures and a huge grin on his face. Hack was nodding along with an expression of deep interest, while Koala was only half-listening, occasionally glancing over to check the Log Pose and the currents and making sure their ship was going where it was supposed to go. She was trying not to focus too closely on Luffy, trying not to be disturbed that another person was using Sabo's face. The way his grin sat on his face was _almost_ familiar, and yet so… _not Sabo._

Koala let her thoughts drift back to part of her conversation with Sabo. Dragon had gone to stand off to the side, pretending he wasn't listening to Sabo and Koala's conversation as it moved into more personal matters. Or maybe he really hadn't been listening. Koala had never been able to tell.

"Sabo? You…you recognized Straw Hat, didn't you?"

"Luffy," Sabo had said, a smile in his voice as he lingered over the name. Koala felt a stab in her heart. He'd only ever used that tone with her before, only ever used it to call her _sister,_ and she knew in that moment Straw Hat had told the truth about his family. "He's my little brother," Sabo had continued in that same warm tone.

"And Fire Fist?" Koala had asked, trying to keep a tremble out of her voice. She should be happy for Sabo, happy he'd regained his memories. She knew she _should_ be, but she wasn't. She was scared he would leave her, and she didn't want him to go- she didn't want to be left again, not again, _not again-_

"Yeah, Ace is my brother, too," Sabo said, "We never did quite figure out who's older…" Sabo's voice _(Fire Fist Ace's voice,_ but Koala knew could imagine every word in his _real_ voice) wavered, surprising Koala. She might have been worried about his memories, but why would _he_ be? "Koala…they thought I was _dead."_

Ah. That would be why.

"Ten years, and I never…I just _left_ them!" His voice twisted with pain.

Koala shoved aside her own fears. "You'd lost your memory," she said, trying to comfort him, "You didn't know…"

" _I should have!"_ Sabo's voice broke. Koala thought she might cry. For all that she'd yelled at him when he'd first called back, it had been out of relief that he was okay. Koala hated to see him sad, hated that she didn't know how to make him feel better, and hated that the only way she could think to respond was with a question about her own selfish worries.

"Sabo…?" Koala's voice trembled. "Are you…going to quit the Army?"

"What? _No!"_ He sounded startled that she would even ask. "I miss my brothers, of course, I _should_ have been there, but the Army's been my life for the past ten years! I wouldn't abandon them, any more than I would have abandoned Ace or Luffy…" Sabo's voice started wobbling again. "Shit, I did do that, didn't I…?"

"Sabo," Koala said, more firmly, "I don't know what the situation was, but you would _not_ have left any sibling of yours unless the situation was dire. Right?"

There was only a heartbeat's hesitation. "Right," Sabo said firmly, "You're right." Then, more quietly, "Thank you, Koala."

Koala smiled, relieved. "No thanks needed."

" _What's that?!"_

Koala was jerked violently out of her reminiscing. Luffy was practically falling out of the boat, pushing Sabo's ratty old top hat with the goggles back to get a better look at something in the distance.

Back to work.

"A Neptunian, I think," Hack said, shading his eyes to look.

"SO COOL!" Luffy swung around to look at Koala and Hack. Were those- was he making Sabo _sparkle?_ "Can we eat it?!"

"Not _now,"_ Koala answered, "We don't have the right equipment with us. Besides, we couldn't eat it all."

"Bet I could catch 'n eat it all in _my_ body." Luffy pouted, which still looked immensely weird on Sabo's face. Not that Sabo didn't pout- it just looked _different._

"I'm sure you could," Koala said, rolling her eyes.

"So, hey, where're we going again?" Luffy asked brightly.

" _Didn't I already tell you?"_

"Uhhh…"

"We're going to meet a contact of ours at G-5," Hack offered, "Who will give us an Eternal Pose to Amira, which is the location your ship was headed for in the first place, and also where Sabo-san is going now."

"Oh, right!" Luffy beamed and nodded. Koala silently thanked her lucky stars that she had Hack with her. She'd been worried about how Luffy would get along with him, given that he'd beat up Arlong (alright, Arlong was a jerk, but Koala didn't know what Luffy's stance on Fishmen was), but Luffy had found Hack 'super cool' and became fast friends with him.

Actually, Koala thought Hack had handled the whole situation quite well. Better than she had, at least. He'd simply blinked, muttered something about 'strange things happen on the Grand Line' and 'I wonder if he's any good at fighting,' and gone to pack his things.

Speaking of things, Koala had brought along the lamp she and Sabo had taken. She didn't know if it would be useful, but she'd figured she might as well. It was the only unusual thing that had happened, anyways.

"So when are we gonna get to Ace and Sabo?" Luffy asked for what felt like the hundredth time since Koala had first told him they were going to meet up with his brothers.

Koala blew out a breath. "Soon." Quickly, before he could demand _how_ soon, she added, "Tell me how you saved a kingdom again?" He'd mentioned that in passing once, and Koala was actually pretty curious.

Luffy's face lit up. "So, actually, I just wanted to kick Crocodile's ass, the saving-Alabasta thing just kinda _happened-"_

Koala internally sighed in relief. ' _That should distract him for a while.'_

* * *

 **See you all tomorrow! Don't forget to leave a review!**


	13. Luffy and Co Invade A Marine Base

**And here we are, day three of Blitz Week, with what would be our usual weekly update. Thank you to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing! We hit 13,000 views yesterday!**

 **We'll get to the chapter in a second; but first, reviews!**

 **Bluejay Blaze, you are extremely correct. On all counts.**

 **ScarletRoofs: :3**

 **RedHeadsRock1010, thanks!**

 **To a guest, I, uh, checked the word count, it's actually not that much longer. Whoops.**

 **Catlover4536, u v right**

 **Anyways, enjoy the chapter, everyone! It's early this week!**

* * *

Luffy was _hyped._

That was the right word, he was pretty sure. He was more than excited, _beyond_ was going to see Ace, and Sabo, and his nakama, _all together!_

"Are we there yet?" Luffy asked. He felt like he'd been asking that a bunch. Koala's annoyed glance meant that his feeling was probably right.

"Yes, actually," Hack said, pointing forwards, "That's our destination, straight ahead."

Luffy dashed to the place where his special seat would've been if he was on _Merry_ or _Sunny_ and looked forwards excitedly. Then he blinked. The excitement became confusion. "Isn't that a Marine Base?"

"Yep," Koala said. She'd gotten her bag out and was digging through it. When had she gotten her bag out? Whatever, it didn't matter.

"Ah. Okay." Luffy sat down, facing the others. He'd just wanted to make sure he was seeing things right, but then he thought of something else. "So…we're pirates."

" _You're_ a pirate," Koala said, glancing up at him with an annoyed look, " _We're_ Revolutionaries."

He knew that, and he wasn't sure why she was telling him again. Luffy decided it was better to just go with it. "Right, right," he nodded, "but we're all wanted, right?"

"Yes."

"Why are we going to see Marines?" It seemed like kind of a stupid plan to him.

"Because that's where our contact is," Koala snapped, pulling something white and blue out of the pack and throwing it at his face.

"Oh. _Ohhhh!"_ Suddenly things made sense! Neat. Luffy looked at the thing Koala had thrown at him and made a face. "A Marine shirt?"

"Yep. Here's the hat. Get changed." Koala tossed it at him.

Luffy's eyes grew wide with horror. "I'm not gonna be a Marine!"

"It's just…pretend," Koala said, pulling out another Marine hat, "So we don't get arrested."

"I'd rather get arrested," Luffy said, tossing the shirt away. He made another face at it.

Koala gave him a _look._ It reminded Luffy of Gramps for a split-second from sheer intensity.

"I'm a pirate," Luffy said firmly, ignoring his shaking knees, "If Gramps couldn't make me a Marine, then nobody else is going to neither." He was going to be the Pirate King, dammit, and if that meant he had to get arrested, then fine. He'd just break out.

Koala slapped a hand to her forehead. "Fine. We'll rely on stealth and knocking people out." She reached back into her bag. "But we're at least wearing the hooded cloaks."

Luffy beamed.

It didn't take very long to get into the Marine base, and Luffy even got to beat up some people on the way in. It was kinda weird, because Luffy wasn't used to being not-rubber and also taller, but still. Beating up Marines was always fun. After they got in, Koala grabbed tight hold of his arm and hissed at him to "stay _close."_ Luffy just nodded. Koala was like Nami; it was better and and hurt less if you just listened to her.

Luffy could barely keep himself from giggling. Here he was, a pirate in a Marine base, maybe even under Gramps's nose! Man, Gramps would be super pissed if he ever found out Luffy was here. Luffy shivered at the thought.

"…do you mean, Portgas was acting strange?"

Luffy paused. Someone was talking about Ace. Who was talking about Ace?

"You heard me," another voice snapped back. Luffy side-stepped over to the door where the voices were coming from. "He started talking crazy, crap about _borrowing_ Portgas, like he was a freaking demon or some shit."

Didn't Luffy know that voice? He could've sworn he did. Where from, though?

Didn't matter. The first voice was talking again. "And he used Armament Haki, too, is that right?"

"Yeah, cracked the damn ground and threw off my footing…"

"Luffy!" Koala hissed, grabbing his arm again. Oh, right, she'd kept going when Luffy stopped. She must've decided to come back. "Didn't I tell you to-"

"They're talking about Ace!" Luffy said. Koala instantly stopped talking and pressed her ear to the door.

Huh. That was easy.

Luffy went back to listening. "…anything else?"

"Yeah, one other. It was the damndest thing. Said- well, implied, really- that he was from the Revolutionary Army."

Koala slapped a hand to her face and dragged it down. "Sabo," she muttered.

Oh, yeah! Sabo was Ace and Ace was Luffy and Luffy was Sabo. He's nearly forgotten. Silly him.

"We had better go," Hack said, motioning down the hallways, "Before they finish their conversation. Our contact isn't far."

"Yeah, I'm coming…and you'd better be following," Koala added to Luffy. He shrugged. 'Course he was following. What else was there to do until there were more Marines to beat up?

Hey, maybe Coby was here. That'd be cool. Luffy played around with the idea of running into Coby again, and had _almost_ gotten bored of it when Hack had to stop him from walking straight into the bear-man.

"Straw Hat," Hack said to him, quietly, "This is Bartholomew Kuma, our contact."

"Neat. He's pretty big."

Koala was talking to the bear-man. Kuma. "Has Dragon-san already told you about the situation?"

Kuma nodded, taking out an Eternal Pose. Luffy couldn't tell if he was looking at Koala or what. That eye-covering hat thingy was kind of cool. Oh, wait, maybe those were just his eyes? Luffy couldn't tell, but either way, it was neat.

"Straw Hat Luffy," Kuma stated. Luffy blinked at him.

"What?"

Koala hissed something at him, but Luffy didn't hear it, so it didn't matter.

"We meet again."

Luffy tilted his head. "Huh? Do I know you?" He was pretty sure he would've remembered meeting bear-guy. He was interesting.

Luffy heard Koala curse a couple of times and say something that sounded like, "are you _kidding_ me?"

"It was on Thriller Bark. You were unconscious."

"Ohhhhh. Huh. Neat."

"How are you so calm about this?" Koala asked, her eye twitching.

Luffy blinked. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Koala slapped a hand to her forehead. Hack started talking. "Kuma-san is one of the Seven Warlords," he began, "As well as the possessor of the Paw-Paw Fruit, and a formidable fighter-"

"The what kinda fruit?" Luffy tilted his head again.

"The Paw-Paw Fruit," Koala said, rubbing her forehead, "It lets him bubble things, or people, and send them flying to other places…or something like that. Look," she added, glancing around, "We'd better get going before someone finds us. We've still got a long way to go-"

"Hey, you can send people places?" Luffy asked Kuma.

"I already _said-"_

"Yes," Kuma answered.

"Can't you send us to, uh…the mystery island?"

Koala and Hack froze.

"That would be possible," Kuma said.

Koala slammed her hands over her face, threw her head back, and started cursing. She looked pretty funny.

"Great!" Luffy beamed, "Then send us!"

Hold it!" Koala barked, "We need to grab our packs!"

"And then bear-guy can send us flying to go see Sabo and Ace?"

Koala pinched the bridge of her nose and inhaled deeply. "Yes, Luffy," she said, " _Then_ we can go see Sabo and Ace."

Not long after that, Luffy had his first flight at the paws of Bartholomew Kuma.

It was _awesome._

* * *

 **Do u hear that? It's the sound of canon shattering in the distance.**

 **Don't forget to leave a review!**


	14. Marco Needs A Drink

**Welcome to day four of Blitz Week! Thank you to everyone following, favoriting and reviewing! We'll get to the chapter in a tick, but first: reviews!**

 **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx,** **RedHeadsRock1010, some Guest,** **LuNaLoverForever** **: *finger guns***

 **You're welcome, random guest.**

 **Lunapok, ScarletRoofs, glad y'all are liking it!**

 **Stelra Etnae, thanks!**

 **Thorn D. Cinni, other guest, Luffy has the ability to see the forest instead of the trees, which leads to solutions like that. :3**

 **Kneoria, we're almost there! I'm glad you liked the chapter!**

 **Wolf Riddle: *bows* I'm glad I'm keeping you entertained! We have _a_ confrontation coming up in a couple of chapters...not sure if it's the kind you're thinking of, though. I'm not the best at epic battle scenes. Dialogue and description is more my thing. Anyways, I'm glad you liked the update: enjoy this one!**

 **And now, it's hella short, but I _did_ promise you guys time with the Whitebeards. Day four of Blitz Week, let's go see how pineapple head's doing.**

* * *

Marco had been _extremely_ stressed for the past few months.

One of his brothers had been murdered. Another had taken off for revenge. Pop's health wasn't getting any better, nobody had any idea what that bastard Teach was up to, and information on Ace was frustratingly, ridiculously hard to come by. The boy barely understood the concept of _subtlety;_ how had he managed to stay so completely out of the news? There was next to nothing; just a few stray sightings, an incident in Alabasta, and a Marine report they'd tapped into ages ago.

Why the hell had Ace been delivering a letter to a Marine anyways?

Marco sighed and scratched the back of his head. On top of all that, he still had tons of paperwork to do. He should probably go work on that…

"Marco!"

Marco's head snapped up. Izo was rushing towards him excitedly, although he moved so smoothly it could almost be called a glide. It still impressed Marco that Izo could maneuver so well and so quickly in a kimono.

"What is it?" Marco asked.

"Good news!" Izo's eyes were bright. "We've picked up another communication about Ace! Come on, they're still talking!"

Hope, relief, and worry all swelled in Marco's chest, though he allowed only the barest hint of a smile on his face. "Lead the way, yoi."

Marco and Izo hurried down to the communications room, where half the crew was staring at a black transponder snail, all of them with varying degrees of confused expressions on their faces.

"…started talking crazy," the snail was saying, "crap about _borrowing_ Portgas, like he was a freaking demon or some shit."

Oh. Crap. That didn't sound good. Marco exchanged a confused look with Izo, then drifted over to Jozu.

"What's going on here?" He asked quietly.

"I'm not entirely sure," Jozu replied, just as quietly, his eyes never wavering from the snail. Vista shushed them.

"…Armament Haki, too, is that right?"

"Yeah, cracked the damn ground and threw off my footing. Managed to wriggle out from under the seastone then, too."

Marco exchanged a confused look with whoever was handy- Haruta, in this case, who shrugged. Since when did Ace use Armament Haki? He usually depended on his Devil Fruit abilities in a fight.

"Interesting. Portgas has never been known to use Armament Haki before now, has he?"

"Not once."

"Hm. Was there anything else?"

"Yeah, one other. It was the damndest thing. Said- well, implied, really- that he was from the Revolutionary Army."

Marco's heart nearly stopped. A chorus of sharp gasps were drawn. Even Jozu was startled out of his intense gaze.

"The Revolutionary Army?!" The Marine demanded, as shocked as the Whitebeards were. "What were his exact words?!"

"After he started in about the 'borrowing' shit, I asked him what he'd have to be to do that kinda crap, and his response was 'you ever heard of the Revolutionary Army?'"

The Marine cursed. Marco felt like doing the same. "If the Whitebeards are involved with the Revolutionaries…" the voice trailed off into mumbling.

"Sir?" The other voice asked, sounding slightly annoyed.

"Go find Fire Fist," the first voice snapped, "We need to find out how he's connected to the Revolutionary Army."

The snail made a noise that sounded very like a stifled sigh. "Sir, I only found Portgas in the first place because someone called to tip us off, and we don't have any idea where he's heading."

"Well, then, place Portgas in the on the high-priority list. Raise his bounty if you think it'll help. Just get him!"

"Yes, sir."

There was a click, and the snail closed its eyes. The room's occupants reeled in silence. Marco's mind raced. Ace had never said anything about the Revolution before, ever- but then, he knew how secretive Ace could get. Dammit, Ace was going to be in serious danger now, even more so than before.

"Is Ace...?" Someone whispered, the end of their question falling off, unheard.

"I think," Marco finally said, "That we need to have a _talk_ with the Revolutionaries." Any second now, the tension would snap and the room would dissolve into a riot. Marco wanted to get out before that happened. He quickly left to go track down Pops and another snail, just as the room erupted into loud yelling behind him.

Damn Ace. Marco wished that he'd stayed on the ship instead of taking off after that bastard- or at least brought a transponder snail with him when he took off. Marco wanted so badly to yell at him right now. That, and a stiff drink.

* * *

 **And that was our scheduled Whitebeard time. Also, we hear the end of the conversation Smoker was having.**

 **See you guys tomorrow, and don't forget to leave a review!**


	15. Dragon Shocks an Emperor

**Welcome one and all to the Fifth and Final day of Blitz Week! Thank you to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing! After today, we'll be back on our normal Updates-Every-Wednesday-At-Four-EST schedule.**

 **We'll get to this last update in a sec; but first, reviews!**

 **gillafrog, well, it's Blitz Week. We're gonna get back to weekly updates after today.**

 **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, next chapter, buddy, next chapter.**

 **Kurapikababu, thanks so so much! I'm glad my fic is good enough to merit an exception! I have some small explanations in here about the number...and I'm glad you liked Luffy's idea!**

 **NikZkinE, Thorn D. Cinni: B)**

 **gabrielsangel23, enjoy the last update of Blitz Week!**

 **avidreader, thank you so much! Enjoy!**

 **Anyways, I promised time with Drago** **n, too. Have fun with him.**

* * *

Dragon hadn't really been expecting any calls, so it was with mild surprise that he regarded his transponder snail. After a moment, he shrugged and picked it up. It wasn't like anyone could call him unless he'd given them the number, anyways, which was why he was comfortable answering the snail the way he did.

"Monkey D. Dragon, leader of the Revolutionary Army. Who's calling?"

"Gurararara!" Dragon blinked at the laugh and sat up straighter in his chair. "That's not the smartest way to answer the snail, brat."

"Whitebeard? How did you get this number?" Dragon had never understood Edward Newgate's epithet. The man had a _mustache,_ for chrissake, not a beard. Damn impressive mustache, though.

"You gave it to me."

Dragon frowned. "I don't remember that." He thought back. When had he-

"Trust me, brat, you did," Whitebeard rumbled.

Eh. Dragon supposed it didn't matter. "Why are you calling?" he asked, "If you haven't called in so long that I forgot you had this number, it must be something drastic."

"Or you have the attention span of a squirrel."

"Eh." Dragon shrugged, although he knew Whitebeard couldn't see it. "Doesn't answer _why."_

Whitebeard's voice turned serious. "My sons intercepted a Marine call about Ace. He's been associated with the Revolution. Tell me, Dragon, what has your Army been doing with my son?" There was the hint of a threat in his voice.

It took Dragon a moment to realize what Whitebeard was talking about- and then he grinned.

"Sabo." Dragon remembered the conversation; his Chief of Staff had sheepishly admitted he'd revealed he wasn't exactly Ace in a desperate ploy to escape.

"Your second in command?" Whitebeard sounded surprised. "What does he have to do with this."

Dragon's rare grin widened. It wasn't often he got the chance to shock an Emperor. "I hope you're sitting down, Whitebeard."

"Get to the point, brat."

"Ace, Sabo, and their younger brother- my son, Luffy- have swapped bodies."

There was a silence. The snail made a soft, strangled " _What?"_ probably from someone in the background.

"Did you hear me, Whitebeard-san?" Dragon asked, managing to make his voice serious and pull the grin off of his face. "Sabo is in Ace's body, Ace is in Luffy's, and Luffy is in Sabo's."

" _Gurarararara!"_ Whitebeard's laugh boomed out of the snail. "Strange things happen on the Grand Line!"

"Indeed," Dragon agreed.

"Dragon-" Oh, Whitebeard was actually calling him by his name. Must be something serious coming up. "-would you be willing to let me know how I can contact my son?"

Dragon considered that. He didn't really want to give Whitebeard a direct line to Koala or Sabo, and he wasn't sure if the Straw Hats _had_ a transponder snail. He felt that the best course of action would be to call one of them, give them Whitebeard's number, and have them contact the Emperor when they met up with Ace.

Which begged the question; Koala, Hack, and Luffy, or Sabo? Sabo was closer to the island, would get there faster; but Koala and Hack had each other as backup to keep Luffy out of their hair, and more importantly, no connection to Fire Fist. Sabo would be overwhelmed with trying to catch up to his brother. By the time the other three got to Amira, Sabo would have already arrived, and so Sabo and Luffy could play catch-up while Ace spoke with his crew.

"I'll contact some of my subordinates," Dragon said, "Two of them are taking my son to meet up with his brothers now. I'll tell them to call you back when they see Ace."

"Thanks, brat."

"You're welcome," Dragon said, and ended the call. For a moment he amused himself by imagining the reactions of Whitebeard's crew to the news he'd just dropped on them. Then he reached for the snail and began another call. "Koala? Hack? Give me a quick status report. I have something for you to add to your objectives."

"You're never going to believe this," Koala's voice answered, "But Luffy thought of a shortcut, and now we're on Amira."

Dragon blinked. He certainly hadn't been expecting that. "What shortcut?"

"Kuma," Koala answered, her voice a mixture of resigned and impressed, "He realized Kuma could just send us straight to Amira with his Devil Fruit powers."

Huh. That _did_ work. Why hadn't Dragon thought of that?

"What's our new objective?" Koala asked.

Might as well go ahead and go with the original plan. Dragon was sure it would turn out fine. "Well- one second, where's Hack?"

"Handling Luffy. He wanted to go explore. Hack's keeping an eye on him."

Dragon frowned. "Then where are _you?"_

"About to go find them, I just finished getting us a place to stay."

"Ah."

"Objective?" Koala prompted after a pause.

"Right. Whitebeard just called. The Marines have connected Ace with the Army, thanks to Sabo, and they picked up on a report."

"We heard some of that," Koala commented.

"Did you? Good. I need you to call Whitebeard whenever Ace arrives. He wants to talk to his son."

There was a pause. "That's it?"

"That's all."

"Right. Understood."

Dragon gave her the number, ended the call, and sat back in his chair. He almost wished he'd been able to go to Amira, too. He'd love to see how this all ended.

* * *

 **I hope you guys are having fun, because Dragon certainly is. Hope you guys enjoyed! Once again, this marks the end of Blitz Week. We're back on our regular update schedule, which is every Wednesday at 4:00 EST.**

 **See you all next week, and don't forget to leave a review!**


	16. Ace Reunites with A Brother

**Welcome back to Triple Switch, everyone! It's the moment you've all been waiting for: Amira!**

 **Thank you so much to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing! We'll get to the chapter right after we get through the reviews!**

 **ClearWolf, I'm glad you liked it, and I actually did make a small edit to fix that error you noticed.**

 **xellos-sore-wa-himitsu-desu, I actually didn't know that. It explains a lot, though. I'm glad you like the story!**

 **mutteringsandramblings, welcome back, I'm glad you're better! Here's some more for you to see!**

 **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, I'm glad you liked it, it was fun to write!**

 **Thorn D. Cinni, Lunapok, thanks!**

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 **King-Elsa, he certainly is. And thank you!**

 **avidreader, thank you for your well wishes! Enjoy this chapter!**

 **Bluejay Blaze, I've missed your comments. They're made of gold.**

 **Wolf Riddle, I'm glad you like it so much! One more chapter now!**

 **Kurapikababu, trust me, now matter how many times you say it, hearing it never gets old. I'm glad you liked it! (And you're the second person to tell me that. I feel you on that last sentence.)**

 **LittleRuky, glad you liked it! Enjoy the chapter!**

 **sarahgri99, thank you! Enjoy!**

 **And now, to Amira!**

* * *

Ace spent one day with the Straw Hats before landing on Amira, but it felt like it dragged on for weeks. He couldn't tell if that was because he was excited (and, okay, a little nervous) about seeing his brothers- _both_ of his brothers, after ten years- or because he was still embarrassed to death about the, erm, _incident._ At least Luffy's crew had the decency not to bring it up after…after Sabo's letter.

The asshole was alive. Ace still couldn't believe it. He kept reading the letter, again and again and again, just to make sure it was real. It had to be Sabo. It was his handwriting, and only Sabo and Luffy would have known about Porchemy.

 _I never would have stayed away…if I'd remembered._

That line in particular stuck in Ace's head. _Sabo hadn't remembered._ Why hadn't he remembered?

Stupid question. He'd gotten shot down by one of those damn Celestial Dragons. He'd written a letter then, too. Ten years ago, Ace had learned that Sabo was dead, and gotten a letter from him in the same day. Now he was learning Sabo was alive from a letter, and would be seeing him any day now, as soon as his brother arrived on the island.

"Ace-bro?" Franky stood on the gangplank, about to leave for land. "You wanna come see the island?"

Ace blinked a couple of times and tried to clear his head. "Yeah…yeah, okay. I'm coming." It would be good to take a walk. He could clear his head, get his bearings, figure out the layout of this place, maybe even sightsee a bit before his brothers got here.

As it happened, things didn't exactly go like that. In fact, that 'plan' went sideways pretty much the second Ace stepped on land.

"GUYS!" Someone was yelling, their voice rising above the port's constant chatter. "YOU _GUYS!"_

Ace's gaze darted around the area, settling on a tall blond man with what looked like a burn scar over one eye, and a wide, familiar grin.

And, more importantly, an old top hat with a pair of goggles.

"Is that…" Ace barely heard his own voice (Luffy's voice, still).

"Luffy." Zoro grinned, "He's here early." The first mate lifted an arm and waved.

"ZORO! NAMI! USOPP, SANJI, CHOPPER, ROBIN, FRANKY, BROOK!" Luffy was dashing towards them, Ace _knew_ it was Luffy, but his mind was still processing it- Luffy, Sabo, ten years older, _that was Sabo's body, Sabo was really alive-_ "ACE!"

Luffy crashed into him with a familiar, lung-crushing hug. He- Sabo's body- was tall, much taller than Ace, or Luffy's body, and it was kind of weird. Ace wrapped his arms around his brother and closed his eyes, drinking in his closeness. _Sabo was alive, Luffy was here- maybe everything was going to turn out okay, for once._

Luffy released Ace, bouncing excitedly. "Oh! Ace, guess what?! Sabo's not dead!"

"I know," Ace said, trying to get a good look at Sabo's face despite Luffy's constant, excited motion. "He wrote me a letter."

"He did? Man, he took all the fun out of telling you." Luffy pouted briefly, then brightened up again. "But isn't it great?! Did you know his boss is my dad? Oh! You haven't met Koala and Hack yet, have you? They-"

"Luffy," Nami said pointedly, "you have a crew here, too."

"But, Nami!" Chopper protested, "It's his brother! Let him catch up!"

"Yeah, Nami-sis, that's cold," Franky agreed with a nod.

"DON'T YOU DARE INSULT NAMI-SAN!" Sanji roared.

"Oh, yeah, hi guys! I missed you!"

"Luffy, how'd you get here so fast?" Usopp asked, "I thought _we_ were closest!"

"There was this _huuuuuge_ bear-guy with, like, paw-hands that could send people places, and-"

"Paw-hands?" Ace repeated in unison with most of the Straw Hats.

"You don't mean…Bartholomew Kuma?" Robin asked.

Luffy nodded. "Yeah!"

"That guy again…" Zoro growled.

"And he helped you?!" Nami asked, looking shocked.

"Yep!" Luffy suddenly smacked a fist into his palm. "Oh! SANJI, MEAT!"

Sanji sighed. "I'll get right on it, Captain." He turned and headed back onto the ship, the hint of a smile on his face.

"Finally!" Luffy cheered, "Oh, man, this is going to be _great-"_

"Luffy," Ace began, but Luffy kept talking over him.

"Sabo's gonna be here soon and then we're all gonna be _together-"_

"Luffy," Ace tried again, in a sterner voice, but Luffy was too excited to hear him.

"And you can meet Sabo's partners, they're cool, and Sabo can meet my crew, and- you know I still wanna meet _your_ crew, Ace-"

" _Luffy!"_ Ace snapped, reaching up and grabbing his face, then pulling it down to eye level. " _Shut up and let me look at you!"_

Luffy fell quiet, for once, and Ace took in every detail of Sabo's ten-years-older face. His hair had grown out. His missing tooth had grown in. There was a burn scar- from when his boat had been shot down, probably. And, of course, it was Luffy in there. But despite all that, Ace could still recognize the kid he'd known all those years ago, his other brother. He drank it all in, then let out a deep, slow sigh.

"I missed you," he said quietly.

He was afraid he might cry if he said anything else.

" _There_ you are!" A new voice called, breaking the tension. Ace let go of Luffy. A girl with red hair ran up next to them, her expression a mixture of relief and annoyance. "How do you manage to disappear so quickly?"

Luffy shrugged. "Dunno." A beat passed. "Oh! Ace, guys, this is Koala. Koala, this is Ace, and that's Nami, and Zoro, and Usopp, and-" Luffy rattled off the names of his crewmates, pointing at them.

Ace tuned out most of their greetings, sizing up Koala instead. Sabo's partner, or one of them. Luffy seemed to like her, too. She was sizing up Luffy's crew in turn. Brook asked to see her panties, and she slammed a kick into his jaw, which should have been impossible, considering their respective heights. Ace was impressed. He was also kind of glad Sanji had gone back to the _Sunny._ Then Koala's gaze landed on him, and Ace made a snap decision.

He smiled and bowed to her. "Thank you for taking care of my troublesome brothers."

It was the same greeting he'd given Luffy's crew, except she had looked after _both_ of them; Luffy in the past day, and Sabo for the last ten years.

She smiled back, her sharp gaze softening. "You're welcome."

"Hey, where'd Hack go?" Luffy asked.

"He's getting food, I think," Koala answered, "Why?"

Luffy beamed, a familiar grin that looked strange on Sabo's face. "Tell him to bring it here! Sanji's making lunch!"

It wasn't long before all twelve of them- the nine Straw Hats, the two Revolutionaries, and Ace- were digging in. Ace had to give credit where it was due: Sanji was one of the best cooks he'd ever met. Maybe even as good as-

He was not going to think about Thatch. Not when he was so goddamn _happy_ for the first time in what felt like months.

He decided to focus on Sanji's weird quirks instead. Like the way he always fawned over the women. And the way Koala kept punching him.

"Does he ever stop?" She hissed to Luffy after the fourth time.

"Shishishi! Nope!" Luffy grinned. Koala sighed and ran a hand down her face.

Pretty soon, lunch was over. Ace could still eat more, but that was to be expected- he was stuck with the appetite of his black hole of a brother. There was really nothing else to do, at least as far as Ace was concerned, except catch up with Luffy and wait for Sabo to show up.

He was kinda surprised when Koala approached him. And he was downright shocked when she told him _why._

"What d'ya mean you're supposed to call Pops when you find me?!" Ace blurted out.

"Your captain and your crewmates are worried about you," Koala answered, "So Dragon-san told us to call them when we saw you, and let them talk to you."

"Huh," Ace said faintly. Koala pulled out a snail.

"Ready?" She asked, tilting her head slightly.

A hundred emotions twisted together in Ace's gut. "Yeah," a voice said. It took him a moment to recognize it as Luffy's; which mean that _he'd_ said it.

The snail began to ring. The knot in Ace's stomach twisted tighter, crushing Luffy's never-ending appetite. He hadn't checked in with Pops and the rest since he'd left. What would they have to say to him?

"…Ace?"

"Marco?" Ace responded automatically.

There was an explosion of noise in the background. It almost sounded like cheering.

"Ace? That's really you, yoi? You actually swapped bodies with your little brother?!"

Ace scratched the back of his neck, cheeks reddening in embarrassment. "Erm, yeah. Hi, Marco. How're you?"

"Oh, fine, yoi, just peachy." Aw, great. He was being sarcastic. " _Dammit,_ Ace, do you have any idea how worried we've been?! How do you manage to stay so under the radar when you can't even figure out basic subtlety, yoi?!"

"Uh-"

"We just lost Thatch, and then _you_ practically drop off the face of the earth! I swear, Ace, if anybody can kill me, yoi, it's going to be _you,_ from pure stress."

"Yeah, I missed you too, ya stupid chicken," Ace grumbled.

Marco grumbled back something along the lines of 'fire-brained moron.' That was just his way of saying he was happy that Ace was okay. At least, that was how Ace chose to interpret it.

"Marco, move over, would you? Stop hogging the snail," another voice said, "Ace, how are you?"

"Izo," Ace smiled. "I'm fine- you know, except for the whole 'in-my-little-brother's-body' thing."

Izo chuckled. "You're going to have quite the time getting out of that one, aren't you?"

"Yeah, well…"

"Hi, Ace!" Haruta's voice yelled in the background.

"Haruta, wait your turn. Ace, tell us what you've been up to…"

"Wait, wait, how's Pops doing?" Ace asked. He hadn't heard the old man yet- but now Whitebeard's booming laugh came from the snail.

"Gurarara! I'm fine, my son. But I want to hear about your adventures, too."

Ace beamed, and started talking. Koala faded into the background with the rest of his surroundings. He could almost- _almost-_ forget that he was in Luffy's body. He just talked to his crew, his family, his nakama, until his voice began to give out.

He tried to avoid the topic of Thatch. He mostly succeeded.

Finally, when his voice started to falter, Namur told him, "You'd better go. Your brother will be wanting you, won't he?"

Actually, Koala had been gently nudging Luffy back towards his crew when he'd approached Ace, or gotten him to tell _her_ stories, so Ace could speak to his nakama uninterrupted. He appreciated that.

"Yeah…" Ace cleared his throat. "I-I'll talk to you guys later."

"Find a transponder snail, yoi," Marco said, "And keep in contact from now on!"

"Mother hen," Ace muttered, loud enough for Marco to hear.

"Flame-brain," Marco shot back. Then the rest of the crew gave their goodbyes, and after a moment, the snail closed its eyes.

Ace looked up and found Koala looking at him with a strange, considering half-smile. "They really care about you," she said.

Ace nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, they do."

"Ace!" Luffy called, "You done talking yet?"

"Yeah, Lu, just finished!" Ace called back, his voice slightly hoarse.

"Then come on!" Luffy dashed over and grabbed Ace's arm, pulling Ace over to his crew.

Ace had never been happier to have Luffy drag him into something.

* * *

 **I hope you guys enjoyed this!**

 **Also! I drew a thing! It's only vaguely related to this fic, but I think you'll all like it.** **pachimew . deviantart art / Sleep-606196754**

 **Remove the spaces, or else find Pachimew on DeviantART and click on the one titled 'Sleep'. It should be the first picture on Newest Deviations.**

 **Remember: we update every Wednesday at 4:00 EST. See you all next week!**


	17. Sabo Gets Beat Up

**Welcome back to Triple Switch, ladies, gents, and those who identify otherwise! As you can see, I'm here a bit early this week! There's an AP Test I gotta take Wednesday at like. 8:00 in the morning. And tbh I do not think I'll be in the mood to answer any more reviews that pop up on that day. Also, I _really_ want to show you guys this chapter.**

 **Thank you to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing! We'll get to the chapter in a moment, but first: REVIEWS!**

 **Kneoria, thank you! Here's the moment of glory!**

 **Thank you, random guest!**

 **XxFire-PhoenixxX,** **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, glad you liked the Whitebeards!**

 **RedHeadsRock1010: *finger guns***

 **Thorn D. Cinni, glad you liked it!**

 **xxXxx: :3 right back at'cha, buddy.**

 **NenziPotatoQueen, ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN, HERE'S THE HYPE**

 **dragonfire1237, no promises, but I'll see what I can do!**

 **Bluejay Blaze, exactly. As for the second half of your comment...well, keep in mind that Sabo's half-desperate ploy to get away from the Marines has put Ace on the High Priority list for the Marines. Also, I honestly doubt that Ace's pride would let him call people for help, no matter how much he needs it. Let's just say I have Things Planned for a sequel.**

 **sarahgri99, enjoy the update!**

 **Kitsune Foxfire, thank you! I love your stories!**

 **And now, the moment you've all been waiting for...**

* * *

Sabo was relieved when he finally reached Amira. Sailing alone on the open ocean was boring. Sailing along on the open ocean while worrying about if your partner had thought to bring what was likely the only object that could switch you back into your own body was positively madness inducing.

He hadn't been able to keep his mind off of it since he'd thought of it, and the stress had kept him up practically all last night (which had subsequently caused a narcoleptic attack this morning). Sabo almost wished the Marines would find him; being attacked would be a welcome break from his thoughts. But he had finally landed on Amira, so at least he could worry about something _else_ now.

Actually, Sabo landed by practically crashing Ace's ship into the docks. He only barely stopped in time, and in stopping he managed to hurl himself off the boat.

"Fine. I'm fine," Sabo muttered, pushing himself up from the wood of the dock. Not that anyone had actually asked. He stood and dusted himself off, reflecting that he'd been in almost this exact position when he'd first woken up as Ace.

So much had changed in those short few days. Ten years, Sabo had spent without his memories, and now he was about to see his brothers- who'd thought he was dead- for the first time in a decade. Also, they were all in each other's bodies, possibly because of a genie.

Fun times. He _really_ hoped Koala had thought to bring that lamp.

Maybe it was time to start focusing on those other worries. Sabo glanced around the docks, looking for some sign of his brothers. Then he noticed Ace's ship (he still hadn't quite managed to figure out what it was called) was drifting off and remembered he hadn't actually anchored it, so he quickly took care of that. Then he went back to looking for signs of his brothers.

There was a ship bearing a jolly roger with a straw hat. If that didn't scream Luffy, nothing did.

As Sabo walked to Luffy's ship, the pounding of his heart grew louder and louder until it filled his ears, blocking out all other noise. Ten years. _Ten years,_ and his brothers had thought he was _dead._ How would they react?

Well…how would Ace react, at least. As far as Sabo knew, Koala, Hack, and Luffy were still en route. They had to make their way from the New World, after all.

Actually, how would _Koala_ react when she saw him again? He was pretty sure they'd worked out most of their personal problems during that phone call, but, well…who knew?

' _Ace is the only one here right now,'_ Sabo reminded himself, ' _maybe focus on one sibling at a time.'_

Sabo came to a stop in front of the gangplank of Luffy's ship. He looked up at it, tilting Ace's hat back to be a full view. He took a deep breath.

' _Here we go.'_

"Hello!" Sabo called. Always a good beginning.

A green haired man with three golden earrings appeared by the railing, looked down at Sabo, and grinned. Sabo mirrored the expression. "Permission to come aboard?"

The man laughed. "Luffy's brother. You don't even need to ask." He turned his head towards the deck. "Oi, captain! Your other brother is here!"

Wait…captain? Luffy was-

" _SABO!"_

The next thing Sabo knew, a hyper-energetic blur had passed straight _through_ him. Logia types reacted to high-speed tacklehugs the same way they did to all physical attacks, evidently.

"Ow," Sabo's own voice mumbled, and then Luffy popped right back up and Sabo experienced the very odd situation of staring into his own face. "Sabo!" Luffy repeated, hugging him properly (and very tightly), "You're not dead! You're Ace, but you're not dead!"

"Didn't we already have this conversation, Lu?" Sabo asked, hugging his brother in return. There was a laugh- maybe even a giggle- in Ace's voice as he spoke. He never wanted to let go of Luffy, even if it _was_ his own body he was holding.

"I know!" Luffy said, "But I'm still so happy!"

Luffy's happiness was contagious, it always had been, and Sabo was positively giddy. He suddenly registered the hat Luffy was wearing.

"Is that…my hat?" Sabo asked, lifting a hand to touch it without fully releasing Luffy from the hug.

"Yeah!"

"You _dork,"_ Sabo said, burying his face in Luffy's (technically, his own) shoulder.

"Hey! It's yours, so that makes you a _bigger_ dork!"

"I know!" Sabo finally made himself let go of Luffy. "How did you even get here so quickly?"

"You know the bear-guy?" Luffy asked.

Sabo blinked. "Kuma?" Then it clicked together in his mind. "You got him to send you?"

Luffy beamed and nodded. "Yep!" Gah, looking at his own face was weird…

"Sabo?"

Koala. Sabo turned, and she was standing there, a bag in her hand. Beside her was- Luffy's body. He hadn't really changed much in ten years, just gotten taller and leaner- but Luffy's body meant Ace's soul.

"Sabo?" Ace echoed Koala, much more quietly, eyes wide.

"Hi, Koala," Sabo said- she'd called his name first, after all, it was only polite- and then, "Hi, Ace. I-"

"YOU FUCKING _ASSHOLE!"_ Ace roared, and charged him. Luffy dove out of the way.

"Oh, shit!" Sabo blurted out, and dodged left. It looked like his first thoughts about Ace's reaction to seeing him again- that he would be _pissed the hell off-_ had been correct after all.

"TEN YEARS!" Ace continued to roar, slamming a fist into Sabo's (well, technically Ace's) stomach (and somehow, it actually _hit_ him- goddammit, had Ace figured out Garp's Fist of Love or something?), "TEN YEARS, WE THOUGHT YOU WERE _DEAD!_ YOU COULDN'T HAVE AT LEAST WRITTEN US A LETTER?!" Ace directed a kick at Sabo's head, and Sabo barely managed to block it.

"I _did!"_ Sabo protested, although he knew that wasn't quite what Ace meant.

"LIKE HELL YOU DID! LETTERS FROM THE _SUPPOSED DEAD_ DON'T COUNT!" Ace yelled, sweeping his (Luffy's) leg at Sabo's ankles. Sabo jumped over it.

"That's not- Ace, I had amnesia, I didn't know-" Sabo tried to defend himself verbally, but he didn't do nearly as well with words as he was doing with his movements.

"DAMN YOUR STUPID AMNESIA!" Ace yelled, punching at Sabo's face (his own, actually). Sabo jerked his head to the right. "Damn it…" The anger drained out of Ace's voice, the energy out of his body. "Damn it for taking you away from us…" He leaned forwards, leaned against Sabo, reaching his arms up to hug him.

Sabo hugged him tightly "Ace…" he said quietly.

"Fuck you, you stupid asshole…" Ace mumbled, his eyes shadowed by Luffy's hat, his voice (Luffy's voice) choking up in a way Sabo knew very well. He didn't want to break the moment, but he had to ask. In a moment.

Finally, when Ace's subtle shaking subsided, Sabo gently released him "Were you-"

Koala interrupted him before he could ask if Ace was crying. With a sucker-punch. Wonderful, now she was using the Fist of Love, too.

"Ow!" Sabo yelped, "What was _that_ for?"

"Being an idiot," Koala answered simply.

" _Koala!"_

"Hey," Ace frowned at her, his eyes no longer shaded and Luffy's voice back to normal, "That's my body you're hitting."

"Oh, right. Sorry-"

"No, no, keep hitting him, I'll help."

" _Ace!"_ Sabo's voice rose, and he stepped back from the two of them, who now had maniac glints in their eyes. "Guys…guys, come on-"

Someone slammed something into the back of his head, but _that_ passed straight through his head in a flicker of fire. Sabo whirled around, only to be met with the disappointed face of his own body.

" _Luffy,"_ he said in the most hurt/disappointed voice he could muster, "what the hell?"

"Everyone else was doing it," Luffy pouted.

"I expected better from you," Sabo said, still using the 'Disappointed Big Brother' voice.

"Expect _this,"_ Koala said, and kicked him in the back of the head.

The next thing Sabo knew, all four of them were duking it out, and it almost felt like the old days in Mt. Corvo, when he, Luffy, and Ace would spar each other daily. It wasn't a proper fight, since they three of them were swapped, wasn't the kind Sabo craved to have to see how strong his brothers had gotten, but it was good enough- and, better yet, Koala was here, too.

It was the best fight Sabo had ever been in.

* * *

 **Ace isn't crying, you're crying. Oh wait so is he. So am I. We're all fucking crying.**

 **Okay, guys. The update schedule is going to get a little wonky. I usually posted my updates during club meetings, but the club's been canceled since we're in the last weeks of the school year. Also, I still have to finish writing the last chapter, and typing up the chapter before that. So...there _will_ definitely be an update next week. I'm just not entirely positive when. **

**Check in next Friday at the latest, probably it'll be done earlier.** **See you all next week!**


	18. Luffy Screws Up

**Welcome one and welcome all to another installment of Triple Switch! Thanks _so_ much to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing! We'll get to the story, just as soon as we get through the reviews!**

 **There's a _lot_ of them this chapter, so a blanket thank you to Gillafrog, ****pipi96,** **ScarletRoofs, GreenDrkness,** **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, Lunapok, betsybugaboo (that test _killed_ me on the writing btw, hope you did good too), ****OnePieceDoesExist, (see previous comment on hoping you did well),** **a Guest, AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius (that is the BEST username btw), aaaaand xxXXxx.**

 **Now, specific replies...**

 **Johnny Spectre: They are, aren't they? Even then.**

 **RedHeadsRock1010: Glad you think so! Always nice to know I'm writing them right.**

 **Bluejay Blaze: That is the best and single most Luffy-like use of Haki I have ever heard of.**

 **crazyrubsoff: Yeah, it occurred to me after I posted the last chapter of Blitz Week, but I already cleared out my old docs _before_ Blitz Week. Too much work to fix it now. I'm glad you're liking the story!**

 **Thorn D. Cinni: Fun story, this was originally just supposed to be ASL, but then the headcanon of Sabo and Koala being siblings by saké ambushed me (I wrote a scene on that in Four Times Sabo Almost Remembered His Brothers if you wanna check that out), and the next thing I knew it turned into a _K_ ASL story. Whoops.**

 **OctaveTea: Damn ninjas with onions. I'm glad you're liking the story! And they are swapping in this chapter...in a way...**

 **peppymint: Spoilers, kiddo. Let's leave it at I have Things Planned for next chapter. Yes indeedy.**

 **Twilight Dusk: That hadn't even occurred to me until you said it but now I'm laughing.**

* * *

Luffy lay with his brothers and Koala in a kinda weird circle, each of them stretched out in a different direction. He was tired from their fight, but absolutely, totally thrilled to be together. He had Sabo, he had Ace, he had his nakama. He was _so_ happy. Luffy didn't even know the words to express how happy he was. There was a phrase he'd heard once, but he couldn't quite- oh. There it was.

He was deliriously happy. Luffy would gladly die right now, even without fulfilling his dream, just for this one moment with his brothers, and his crew nearby.

Hm. Maybe that was a bit too much to give up. Luffy rolled his head to one side and saw the beaming grin Sabo was wearing, rolled it to the other and saw Ace with his eyes closed and a simple, purely happy smile on his face (which kinda made Luffy's stomach feel weird again, seeing his _own_ face outside of a mirror), and saw the _Thousand Sunny_ in the not-far-off distance, his nakama looking at them and smiling, and talking, and laughing.

He wouldn't give up his dream, Luffy decided, but still, if he died right now, he'd go out happy.

"Oh!" Sabo gasped, breaking the moment. Luffy turned his head to see Sabo sit up suddenly with a panicked look on his face. "Shit, I'd managed to let it slip my mind-"

"What's up, Sabo,?" Ace asked, and Luffy looked back to see Ace propping himself up on his elbows. Luffy tilted his head backwards as far as he could and caught sight of Koala sitting up and stretching. Looking back that far kinda hurt a little _(right,_ Sabo wasn't rubber, he kept forgetting), so Luffy decided to sit up, too.

"Koala, you remember that lamp we took?" Sabo asked, pushing himself to his feet. He reached a hand out towards Koala, and she grabbed it and pulled herself up.

"Yeah?" She asked, tilting her head. Ace and Luffy traded glances and got to their feet.

"Did you bring it? Please tell me you brought it." Sabo made Ace's face twist with worry. Luffy was confused. What lamp were they talking about? Why hadn't Koala told him about it?

Oh, probably because he hadn't asked. Duh. Silly him.

Koala's eyes widened slightly. "So you think that actually _is_ the cause?"

"Well, it's the only thing I can think of-"

"Wait," Ace interrupted, "You mean this is _your_ fault?" He face twitched between anger and about-to-laugh. "You, the cautious one, the smart one, the _planner- you_ got us into this? _Sa_ bo, I can't be _lieve_ you-"

"Yes yes yes, I'm sorry, _Koala, do you have it?"_ Sabo edged Ace's voice with desperation.

"Don't worry, Sabo, I've got it," Koala told him with a small smile.

Sabo heaved a huge sigh of relief and hugged her tightly. "Koala, I love you so much right now." Koala patted him on the back.

"Don't kiss your girlfriend in my body, Sabo," Ace called, "That's gross."

"Shut up, Ace," Sabo told him, letting go of Koala. He and Koala both made 'ew' faces. For once, Luffy was pretty sure he knew why.

"Koala isn't Sabo's girlfriend," Luffy piped up, "she's Sabo's sister!"

Everybody stared at Luffy, including his crew, which had started to wander over. Luffy figured they were curious.

"Who told you _that?"_ Koala nearly shrieked after a silent moment.

Luffy blinked. "You did. When we first met? I asked how you knew Sabo, and you said he was your brother."

Koala's face furrowed. "Wait…oh! I did, didn't I?" Her face cleared, but then she frowned and looked a little angry. "How come you remember _that?"_

"Dunno," Luffy shrugged. Koala sighed and slapped a hand to her forehead. Luffy noticed that Hack had come over, and so had more of his crew. "Anyways," Luffy continued, picking up a train of thought, "since you're Sabo's sister, and Sabo's our brother, that makes you mine and Ace's sister, too."

" _What?"_ Koala said. Sabo and Ace looked surprised, then- what was the word? Oh, yeah- resigned. Luffy wasn't sure what Koala was asking about. He'd made perfect sense, he was pretty sure. Maybe she'd heard him weird?

Ace sighed and patted her on the back. "Welcome to the family."

"Just go with it," Sabo told her, a small smile on his face, "Last time Luffy decided he wanted someone to be his friend, the three of us ended up becoming sworn brothers. And Ace _hated_ Luffy at first."

"Really?" Brook asked, surprised, "But you seem so close!"

Oh, all of Luffy's nakama were nearby now. Cool.

"Actually," Zoro spoke up, "the _last_ time Luffy wanted someone to be his friend, he beat up a Warlord for them."

"Oh, yeah! Shishishi, Thriller Bark was fun!" Luffy laughed.

"Seriously?" Ace frowned, then looked at Luffy. Luffy's face should not be frowning. That was _so_ weird, it was like, like, like looking at a weird mystery mirror! " _Again?"_ Ace asked.

" _Again?"_ Sabo and Koala repeated at the same time.

"Yeah, the one before onion guy was Crocodile- I told you about him, right, Koala? Hack?"

"Oh, yeah, Alabasta." Koala nodded. "I remember that now."

"What _happened_ in Alabasta?" Sabo asked apparently no one. "I really need to catch up on your adventures…"

"I'll tell you all about them!" Luffy promised.

Sabo smiled at him. "I can't wait to hear about them." A beat passed. "But maybe let's switch back first. Koala, where's the lamp?"

"It's in my bag- let's see, I think I left it in the girls' quarters on Luffy's ship, we stayed there last night. Hold on, I'll grab it." Koala said, and rushed off. Sabo started after her, and Luffy followed Sabo, and Ace followed Luffy after a second, and then the rest of Luffy's crew and also Hack followed them.

They _acted_ like they weren't following, but they totally were. So after a minute of so, everybody was on _Sunny's_ deck.

Sabo hummed quietly. "Oh, yes- Ace, I never did figure out what your ship was called," he said.

"Oh, _Striker._ She's a good ship."

"I remember that!" Usopp said, "It runs on your Devil Fruit powers, right?"

"Spewing flames into the ocean," Zoro added with a slight roll of his eyes.

Franky whistled. Luffy was pretty sure he was impressed. "You think I could take a look at her sometime?"

Ace grinned. "Sure!"

"And what's your ship called, Lu?" Sabo asked him.

"The _Thousand Sunny!"_ Luffy beamed, "Franky built her! He's the _best_ shipwright!"

"You bet! I'm SUPER!" Franky yelled, posing. Luffy laughed, Sabo smiled and raised an eyebrow, and Ace grinned.

Also, Koala came back. She was carrying a weird looking mystery thing. Maybe it was the mystery lamp Sabo had been talking about?

"Here's the lamp," Koala said- Luffy was right, it _was_ the mystery lamp- "How do you think we get it to activate or…whatever?"

Sabo reached out, and Koala handed the lamp over. "I'm not sure," he admitted, "Maybe I have to rub it again? I mean, how does it work in stories?"

"Well," Usopp butt in, "usually, after rubbing the lamp, a genie appears."

"I don't see any genies," Ace said, making a show of looking around, "You guys see any genies?"

Koala's eyebrow twitched. Robin smiled. Zoro and Nami smirked, Franky laughed, Usopp and Hack sighed, and Chopper and Brook glanced around for genies.

"Maybe we haven't seen it 'cause we haven't asked," Luffy offered.

"Asked what?" Sanji frowned.

"To _see_ it. Like- HEY! GENIE! SHOW YOURSELF!"

"I don't think-" Hack started, but then a mystery cloud formed in front of the lamp. For a second, Luffy thought Nami was using her Clima-tact, but she looked as surprised as the rest of them, so it couldn't be her.

The cloud turned person-shaped on top, with a wispy kinda tail on bottom, and then the clouds went away and there was just a weird looking guy with a ghost tail stretching in mid-air.

" _Fi-_ nally," the weird guy said, "Someone who has the sense to understand my work ethic."

"IT'S A REAL GENIE!" Usopp, Brook, Chopper, and Nami screeched, falling back. Robin looked a little bit interested, which Luffy had learned usually meant she was _really_ interested. Zoro and Sanji barely blinked. Franky and Hack had similar looks of mixed surprise and curiosity. Sabo, Ace, and Koala stared with open jaws.

Luffy was just happy it had worked. "Hi, Mr. Genie-Guy!" He beamed.

"Hello…you," the genie said, raising an eyebrow as he looked at Luffy. "I do have a name, you know."

"Don't care," Luffy said bluntly. Genie-guy's name wasn't important right now. "Just switch us back, Mr. Genie-Guy!"

The genie raised his other eyebrow. "Typically," he said, "I'll only do what is specifically asked of me, and only if I feel like it. I don't like working much, you know."

"Don't care about that, either," Luffy frowned, "Does it mean you won't switch us back?"

"Luffy, be _careful,"_ Koala hissed, "Genies are-"

"It _means,"_ the genie drawled, talking over Koala, "That you haven't exactly endeared yourself to me, so I am not inclined to grant your request." The genie examined his fingernails. "However, if you were to make a _wish,_ I would have no choice but to comply."

"…" Luffy had _no_ idea what the genie had just said. "Do-wha?"

"You haven't been very nice to him," Sabo translated, "so he doesn't want to help you. But if you made a _wish,_ I think you have to actually say the words 'I wish,' he'd _have_ to help you."

"Bingo," the genie said, pointing at Sabo, "Give the boy a prize."

"Nerd," Ace whispered loudly.

"And just _who_ misspelled their own name on their tattoo?"

"You asshole, you _know_ why I-"

"Okay!" Luffy beamed, ignoring them, "Then I wish we were all switched again!"

The genie grinned widely- too widely. It looked like it stretched past the edges of his face, kinda like Luffy's own rubber grin, only much creepier. "Your wish is my command." He snapped his fingers.

At the same time, Koala started to say something- "Wait a second, _that wording-"_

There was a jerk, and the world tilted beneath Luffy. He suddenly felt all barfy. There were black spots in his vision.

"By the way," Luffy heard the genie say as his vision went black and he began to fall over, "My name is Aeriasky, and I am a _they."_

And then Luffy was asleep.

* * *

 **Ooooh, plot twist!**

 **Okay, next chapter is almost definitely _the_ longest chapter of the story. Also, what I thought would be the last chapter ended up being broken into two parts, so...three more chapters left!**

 **Again, things are happening and updating is sporadic now, but the next update will definitely be up by NEXT Friday. See you all next week!**

 **Edit: Was digging through reviews and found some that, for whatever reason, were not in my notifications. Those have been added in the review replies up top.**


	19. Ace is Very Annoyed

**Welcome back to Triple Switch, in what is definitely our Longest Chapter Of The Story. Thank you to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing, I appreciate your support! We'll get to the chapter (and the continuing body swaps) just as soon as we get through the reviews!**

 **ScarletRoofs: You called it!**

 **xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx: Good. I hope you enjoy the confusion that follows!**

 **RedHeadsRock1010: :D**

 **Guest(s- both of you): *finger pistols***

 **pipi69: He is in a Very Big Trouble**

 **Wolf Riddle: Thank you! Enjoy the hilarity!**

 **Johnny Spectre: Dear lord, if the Whitebeards were around everyone would die and the chaos would never end. Not that it ever ends anyways, considering Luffy...the wingnut.**

 **mutteringsandramblings: On the plus side, I have Things Planned for a sequel. Eventually. And possibly a part 3. _Eventually._ Like a year from now.**

 **Kneoria: :DDD thank you! And yep that's basically what went through my head as soon as I realized Koala was becoming part of the sibling group. _"She's one of us now."_**

 **Smoochynose: Usopp does, but, well, how _else_ are they supposed to get back to normal? Go hunting for Dr. Vegapunk or Trafalgar Law?**

 **Thorn D. Cinni: Speaking of Law...yep, that's _exactly_ what it's like. Only the voices don't switch.**

 **AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius: B))**

 **OctaveTea: Ur bet is correct, go collect ur money, and thank you! I'm glad you liked Koala's characterization!**

 **j-swan: Shit, Garp. Didn't even think of him. Maybe another fic. Or omake. Or somthin'. *files idea away for later use***

 **Mary Eliza Von Teese: Thanks! I'll try to put some of that in there, but seeing as I only have one chapter left to write...well, once I hit a writing rhythm, the story kind of carries itself, so I don't know if I can get it in there. I'll brainstorm a bit and do my best, though! And thank you so much for your lovely comments, they made my day!**

 **Dareagon: Sssssomething like that. Something very much like that.**

 **yayaya234: It ain't over yet, buddy.**

 **xxXXxx: Thanks!**

 **Bluejay Blaze: Your D &D games sound fun. **

**RasalynnLynx: Probably, but guess where he is? Not here, that's for sure.**

 **TheSuperMario: Thank you! I'm really glad you like my portrayal of the story and the characters, including my minor OC. I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **And now, to the chaos!**

* * *

Ace woke up to see Sabo's partner shaking him.

"Koala?" Ace muttered, pulling himself out of the depths of unconsciousness. His voice was strange…but it wasn't Luffy's…

"No," Koala answered with a grimace. Ace struggled to form his thoughts into something coherent. He may have narcolepsy, but that wasn't a normal 'nap attack,' and it had seriously shaken him up.

"…No?" Ace repeated, squinting. He tried to sit up.

"I'm afraid not. Quick, who are you?"

"What are you talkin' about?" Ace frowned, his mind starting to wake up. Whose voice _was_ that? "I'm Ace…"

(Apparently not) Koala blew out a breath and glanced around awkwardly. "Well…I'm Sabo. The, um, Aeriasky was not in a helpful mood, and Luffy didn't exactly phrase the wish well, so…"

Ace's brain woke up. "We're _still switched?"_ He looked down at himself. Blond hair fell into his face, and Ace shoved it away, brushing against what felt like scar tissue as he did so. He was wearing a rumpled vest, a button-down shirt, and a fucking _cravat._ "Shit, Sabo-"

Yeah," Sabo nodded grimly, "You're in my body."

"…And you're a girl."

"Do _not."_

Ace silently filed the situation away for later teasing opportunities. Damn, he'd thought he'd never file anything under 'things to tease Sabo about' again. "Has anyone else woken up?" Ace asked.

Sabo shook his head. "Not yet. I was the first one awake, and I figured I might as well see who was in my body."

Ace cursed softly, just to make himself feel better. "You think we should wake up the others and hope for the best?" He looked around as he spoke. It looked like all of Luffy's crew- and Sabo's other partner, Hack- had been pulled into the switch, if everyone who was passed out had swapped.

"I'd rather wake them one at a time and find out who's who as we go," Sabo said, frowning thoughtfully.

"Guess that works too," Ace shrugged, and got to his feet. He looked around again, wondering who to wake up, until his gaze settled on his own body, and he decided he might as well find out who was in there _now._ Ace walked over to it. At least he was tall again, even if it was Sabo's height. He'd missed being tall.

Ace nudged his body with a foot. His face (Ace's _own_ face, _god_ that was weird to watch) twitched, and he mumbled something, but still kept snoring. Ace crouched and shook his body. His head fell to the side and he mumbled something that sounded very much like "meat."

"Luffy," Ace said under his breath. He stood up, drew his foot back, and slammed it into his body's side. "WAKE UP, YA MORON!"

Ace's body let out a yell, bolting into a sitting position. "AH! I'M UP! I-" his eyes landed on Ace- on Sabo's body- and his face stretched into a wide grin that, without a shadow of a doubt, belonged to Luffy. "Sabo!"

Sabo cleared his throat. "Over here."

Luffy's gaze shifted to him, and his expression became confused. "Koala?"

"We're still switched," Ace said, cutting straight to the point, "I'm Ace, that's Sabo, you're in _my_ body, and I blame you for this."

"Oops?" Luffy offered, looking down at himself. He grinned again and hopped to his feet. "This is so _cool!"_

"Luffy," Sabo began, but Luffy had already dashed over to his first mate's body.

"ZORO! Zoro, wake up! I need you to cut me!"

"Under thirty seconds awake and he wants to play with Devil Fruit powers," Sabo sighed, "Classic Luffy."

"I'm surprised his first thought wasn't _meat,"_ Ace snorted. Sabo laughed.

"You know, your powers are actually pretty easy to handle," Sabo commented, "I burst into flames on accident a few times, but I mostly managed to keep it under control. How did you do with Lu's?"

"FINE," Ace said in a too-loud voice, "I did FINE."

Sabo _looked_ at him, then started to grin. "You couldn't use them, could you?"

"I could _too,"_ Ace said defensively. Sabo's grin widened.

"But you couldn't use them _well._ What did you do, punch yourself in the face?"

Ace felt his face go red. "No," he lied.

"You _did!"_ Sabo's voice (Koala's voice, come to think of it) rose into something like a squeal. He looked almost startled. "Huh, I've never heard her voice do that before," he muttered.

Ace scrambled to think of something he could say that would change the topic, but Sabo recovered before he could.

"That's great, you know," Sabo continued, " _I_ could control _your_ powers, but you couldn't handle Luffy's? And after all the times you teased him about it, too!"

"That was years ago!" Ace protested, seizing upon the only defense he could think of.

Sabo abruptly looked like he'd been punched in the gut. It took Ace a second to realize why. "Yes," Sabo said quietly, "I suppose it was."

Ace felt a pang of regret. He hadn't meant to hurt Sabo. He'd worked off most of his anger in their fight, and most of that hadn't really been at Sabo, it had been at himself, at the nobles, at Goa Kingdom in general.

He was fortunately spared from the awkward moment by a loud cry of "NOOOO!"

He and Sabo turned to see Zoro's body kneeling face down, repeatedly slamming a fist into the ground. "Why the mosshead?! Why him, of all people?!"

"Sanji," Ace realized. Luffy was laughing.

"The cook?" Sabo asked. Ace nodded. The rest of Luffy's crew was starting to wake up, as well as Hack and-

"What the-"

Oh, right, they hadn't woken up Luffy's body. He was staring down at himself, aghast. Ace had never seen Luffy's face with that particular expression, and he didn't like seeing it now. He quickly moved towards Luffy's body.

"Hey," Ace said.

Luffy's body looked up, frowning, then blinked in surprise. "Sabo?"

"No, that's me," Sabo said, waving a hand. Ace swore a pint of blood drained out of Luffy's face.

"I'm Ace. Who're you?"

"Koala," Luffy's body muttered, and Ace started in surprise. He hadn't been expecting that. He wasn't sure who he _had_ been expecting, just- not her. "That _idiot,"_ Koala said, "The _wording-"_

"It's Luffy," Sabo pointed out neutrally, "He doesn't think things through much."

Koala hummed slightly. "True, but- he couldn't have al least said, 'I wish we were back to normal?'"

Sabo shrugged helplessly. "It's Luffy," he repeated.

Something clicked in Ace's mind. "Shit, the lamp, where's the lamp?" He asked, looking around.

Sabo cursed and joined him in looking. "If we've lost that thing again-"

"Don't even think about it," Koala warned him, "It won't help."

"Your sister's right," Ace nodded. Honestly, it was still weird for him to think of Sabo having a sister, let alone to go along with Luffy Logic and claim she was _Ace's_ sister, too. He'd just work on accepting her as Sabo's sister. Baby steps.

Sabo muttered something indistinct. Ace glanced over at the Straw Hat pirates, plus Hack. Luffy was still trying to find Zoro- oh, it looked like he was in Usopp's body. Zoro said something to Sanji, who angrily snapped something back- Ace only caught snatches of words, but the body language and expressions were clear enough.

Zoro-in-Usopp's-body snatched one of his swords from its sheath and cut a clean arc through Luffy's (actually Ace's) torso, leaving a trail of flicking fire in its wake. Luffy laughed with what was probably delight.

"Got it!" Sabo called, Ace's head snapped back to him. He was waving a golden lamp in the air. "Not sure where Aeriasky went, though," he added, dropping his arm and holding the lamp with both hands.

"Bet he- uh, they- is- are? Whatever, I bet the damn thing's taking a nap," Ace said, running a hand through his hair in frustration. Sabo's hair was really soft. Had it always been this soft?

"…Ace? Why are you patting my head?"

"Your hair is _soft."_

"I know, right?" Koala grinned, "I always tell him that."

"It's not _that_ so-" Sabo began, reaching up and placing a hand on Ace's head. Then he paused, his gaze switching from Koala to his hair. "Oh, wow, it _is_ soft."

"Told you," Koala sing-songed. Then she started towards the Straw Hats. "Come on, let's go tell everyone how your brother screwed us all over."

"Hey," Ace protested in Luffy's stead, "It's not _that_ bad. We'll just wish ourselves back to normal or whatever."

"And unless we phrase it _just_ right, we'll probably end up worse off than before," Koala countered. She paused. "I guess it's not entirely Luffy's fault," she added.

"That's her way of apologizing," Sabo whispered to Ace. Ace smiled.

Meanwhile, Sanji's body had grabbed Ace's by the shoulders and was shaking him- Luffy, that is- with a vengeance. "You stupid, meat-brained, IDIOT of a captain-"

"Naaaamiiii, cut it ooouuut!" Luffy whined. Well, that answered who was in Sanji's body, at least.

"So, good news," Sabo said quickly, tapping Nami on the shoulder. She stopped shaking Luffy and turned to look at Sabo. "We still have the lamp."

"What's the bad news?" Brook's body asked, making nervous motions with his hands. Ace guessed it was probably Usopp occupying the skeleton's body.

"Well, if we phrase it wrong, we'll probably end up digging ourselves deeper into this hole," Koala offered.

"Genies typically grant three wishes," Nami's body said with one of Robin's smiles, "So I suppose if we do not correct our switched state with this last wish, it may be permanent."

"NOOOOOO!" Nami and Sanji screamed in unison.

"Wow…you never see Zoro and Sanji agree on anything!" Franky's body said. Ace thought his wide-eyed expression was probably Chopper's.

"I'd be fine with this," Robin's body admitted, a hand creeping towards her skirt, "Truly, it is a joy to be flesh and blood again! Especially when such flesh is-"

"Musician-san," Nami's body (probably Robin) said with another of Robin's enigmatic smiles, "Keep your hands in decent places, or I will _remove them_ when we return to our own bodies." Something about the way she said it made shivers go down Ace's (er, Sabo's?) spine. Brook snatched his hand away from the edge of Robin's skirt.

"We might as well get the genie out," Hack's body said, crossing his arms, "Ain't gonna solve anything just standing around."

"I'd rather figure out who's who first," Chopper's body spoke up, "It would be nice to have some knowledge of who I'm speaking to."

"Why bother?" Zoro grunted, folding Usopp's spindly arms, "I mean, we're gonna switch back in a minute, anyways."

"Let's not be overly hasty," Brook said, his hand drifting again, this time to Robin's chest. Robin shot him another look, and the hand dropped.

"Yeah!" Luffy beamed, "This is fun!" His shoulder burst into flames almost before he finished saying it. Luffy yelped, then laughed. "Cooool!"

Sabo quietly reached out and pulled on Koala's (Luffy's) now-rubber cheek. She slapped his hand, and it snapped back into place.

"Maybe we could all just kind of say who we are anyways?" Probably-Usopp offered, "Just, you know, to know."

"Yeah, let's do that!" Luffy pointed at him, then waved a hand in the air. "I'm Luffy, and I'm gonna be King of the Pirates!"

Sabo laughed. "You really haven't changed in all this time, have you?" Turning to the group at large, he bowed slightly. "I'm Sabo. Please, no jokes about my current situation."

Brook opened his mouth. Nami slammed her foot on top of his (Sanji's on top of Robin's, which probably hurt _a lot)_ and Brook's mouth slammed shut.

"I'm Ace," Ace said with a casual wave of his hand.

Koala made a gesture that Ace could only describe as a cross between a wave and a salute. "Koala."

Chopper's body placed his top hooves together and bowed. "Hack."

Zoro gave a quick-jerky nod. "Zoro."

Nami sighed and raised her hand. "Nami…"

Brook's body waved a skeletal hand nervously. "Uh, Usopp over here."

Robin gave everyone her trademark smile. "I'm Robin."

Franky's body eagerly held up a hand. "I'm Chopper."

"Yohoho!" Brook laughed, which looked and sounded _really_ weird in Robin's body, "I'm Brook! And I must say again, what a pleasure it is to not be just bones, if only for a while!"

"Franky here," Hack's body said, then did one of Franky's poses. "SUPER!"

There was a brief silence.

"Don't do that again in Hack's body," Sabo said, "Just…no." Koala nodded vigorously in agreement.

Sanji was moping in the background, but he managed to raise his head and say, "Sanji," before going straight back to his mope.

"Would you cut that out?!" Zoro snapped.

"Make me, shitty mosshead!" Sanji roared, abruptly energized.

" _You're_ the one with the mosshead now!"

"So you _admit-!"_

Nami hit them both. "Would you two cut it out?! We've got bigger things to worry about!"

Zoro grunted.

"Ri- uh- yes, Nami-swa- er- yeah." Sanji attempted his usual lovestruck cry, but it faltered in the face of his own body and trailed off into an embarrassed mutter.

"Uh…you guys?" Usopp said. He pointed a trembling, skeletal finger at something in the distance. "Aren't those Marine ships?"

Everyone whirled to look.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Usopp whimpered, "I'd love to be wrong."

Ace cursed. "Those are definitely Marine ships!"

"Way to _go,_ Sabo," Koala said.

"Hey!" Sabo protested, "Not completely my fault!"

"Get the genie!" Nami yelled, "Switch us back! We can't fight like this!"

"We can try," Luffy said with a grin. Ace knew he would love the challenge.

"I agree with Nami- but I don't know if we have enough time!" Chopper said, "If we get knocked out like last time-"

"Damn, that's true," Franky cursed.

"We have two options!" Hack said firmly, "Fight or flight! And I will always choose to stand my ground!"

"Me too!" Luffy exclaimed.

"I'm with Hack," Koala said, determination in her voice, "I may not know how to fight using these rubber powers, but Fishman Karate counts for something!"

"Well, I can't just leave my sister, can I?" Sabo asked with a smile, "Nor my brother or partner."

"Fuck it, you know I don't run from a fight," Ace grinned, cracking his knuckles.

"Neither do I," Zoro said, and yanked his swords from their sheaths without even taking the sheaths from Sanji's waist. Sanji spluttered in protest, then growled.

"Well, I can't let the shitty mosshead show me up."

"Insane," Nami groaned, "We're all insane. Robin, toss me my Clima-Tact."

And, one by one, the Straw Hats, the Revolutionaries, and Ace prepared for a fight. Finally, the ship landed. Commodore Smoker stood at the prow, poised. He leapt down as soon as the ship dropped anchor, then strode towards the group. He stopped several feet from them.

"You," he growled, pointing at Ace's body, "are a _massive_ pain in the ass."

* * *

 **Duh-duh-dah! Next chapter, we finally get to see a proper fight!**

 **So I'll see you all next week, or possibly later this week, depending on how long it takes me to write up the Final Chapter.**

 **Hope you enjoyed, leave a review on the way out (or don't, whatever)!**


	20. Sabo and Co Kick Marine Ass

**Hey everyone, welcome back to Triple Switch! Thanks for following, favoriting, and reviewing! As always, we'll get to the story right after we get through the reviews.**

 **Let's see, Smoker-only comments...betsybugaboo,** **PsychopathOnADiet, xXxWolvesInTheNightxXx, Kitsune Foxfire, RedHeadsRock1010, thanks for commenting! Other assorted reviews that I can't think of a proper reply to...Guest (that was likely The Single Longest chapter btw, sorry), NikZkinE, Catlover4536, Thorn D. Cinni, xxXxx, Vi-Violence, thanks for your reviews! And as for the rest...**

 **mountainelements: Complaint first: I'm sorry that the reply format I do is a bit...annoying, I guess, but, well, at this point we only have two chapters to go, and it seems pointless to change to format so late in the story. I'll definitely remember to do that in future stories, though! And I'm glad you like the story otherwise!**

 **Kneoria: ...That would have been a _great_ idea. Dammit.**

 **Resha Tsubaki: eeeeehhhe *makes odd hand motions* it's a good _idea_ _,_ definitely, but I can't decide if I want to do body-soul or soul-body...and it's just easier for me to use just names and add in reminders of who's who. Thank you, though!**

 **AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius: eyyyy *finger pistols***

 **OctaveTea: Magic. Magic, writing things down, and only doing it for like three chapters. *finger guns***

 **Riz5415, Welp: Have a little faith in Luffy. He's not going to go down easily.**

 **Johnny Spectre: You'll have to wait and see, won't'cha?**

 **Reminiscence Awry: Okay, but consider a _third_ possibility (mild spoiler for next chapter): Tashigi.**

 **Guest: ...Yes. That would have been good. Have I mentioned I am Not The Greatest at fight scenes?**

 **Bluejay Blaze: Luffy is ALWAYS a huge pain in the ass, but I see what you mean.**

 **Other Guest: Well, Aeriasky's kinda immune to their own magic. Plus they don't necessarily want to switch. Just cause chaos.**

 **NeverTooMuchInspiration: I'm glad you like it! The fight is certainly going to prove interesting...I hope...but as for the bright side, I'm pretty sure no one really know who Law at this point in the timeline. He's probably busy. Don't worry, though, it'll be fiiiiine...**

 **And now, TO THE ASS-KICKING!**

* * *

Nine Straw Hats, three Revolutionaries, and a Whitebeard pirate faced off against a ship or two full of Marines.

It sounded, Sabo mused, like the start of a bad joke.

"How did you find us?" Sabo asked. Maybe it was foolish to ask, but he had to know- it was largely his fault that the Marines were here, after all.

"Mostly by luck," Smokey (or whatever the man's name was, Sabo still couldn't remember) admitted.

"Of course it was," Koala said quietly, not loud enough for the Marine to catch it.

"We were heading to another island to restock, and then we got a call reporting Straw Hat's ship was here." Smokey continued.

"And you figured if you couldn't get m- er, Ace, you could at least get his brother?" Sabo surmised.

"Something like that."

"That's _just_ our luck," Nami hissed.

Smokey blew out a cloud of smoke and cleared his throat. "Straw Hat Pirates, Portgas D. Ace, and you three Revolutionaries- particularly _you,_ Chief of Staff-" Smokey directed a glare at Sabo's body, at _Ace_ , "You are are all under arrest."

Ace looked at Sabo. "You're Chief of Staff? Seriously?"

"And you're Second Division Commander of the Whitebeards," Sabo pointed out, "Not exactly what either of us expected."

Ace frowned slightly. "How'd you know that? I don't think I told you."

"I _do_ keep up with the newspapers."

"And you _still didn't remember?"_

Smokey scowled in confusion. "What the hell are you two talking about?"

They ignored him.

Sabo didn't want to get into how he had stubbornly refused to remember _anything,_ anything at all, about his past life. He didn't want to tell Ace that he hadn't _wanted_ to remember. All he'd been left with was the urge to _stay away_ from Goa Kingdom- he hadn't known _(he should've known)_ …

"Look-" Sabo began hesitantly.

"Sabo!" Luffy called, Ace's voice bright and sunny. Sabo turned towards him. Luffy was looking at him over his shoulder. "You wanna fight this guy, or can I?"

Sabo couldn't help laughing. "He's all yours, Lu!"

"Good!" Luffy turned back to Smokey, and Sabo knew his brother was grinning. "I'm gonna kick your ass!" Luffy announced brightly.

"Oi, oi," Zoro said, "Save some for the rest of us."

"There's a ship full of shitty Marines to beat up," Sanji said, raising a leg, "you'll have your fun, shitty mosshead."

"Insane," Nami said again, gripping her staff, "This is insane."

Ace gave Sabo a 'we'll-talk-later' look before he looked back at Smokey and the Marines beginning to swarm down the gangplank and onto the docks, sliding into a fighting stance.

Smokey sighed and pulled out his jitte. "I don't know why I bother trying to make sense of you people."

"Me neither," Luffy said amicably. Then he sprang forwards.

Smokey brought his jitte up in a block. "Tashigi!" He snapped, looking towards the ship.

"Here, sir!" A dark haired girl called, dashing down the gangplank.

"Hey, it's glasses girl!" Luffy said, momentarily distracted. Smokey swung his jitte into the side of Luffy's head. Luffy yelped, punched Smokey with a flaming fist, and quickly distanced himself.

Zoro was staring at glasses girl. He looked like he had frozen up. He spat out a curse, then shot a look at Sanji. Sabo identified a mixture of annoyance, panic, and a tinge of worry, covered by a hard glare. "Love-cook," Zoro growled, "if you do your… _thing_ at _her,_ I will personally kill you and string up your guts. Run or fight her- no gushy shit!"

"Why should I listen to _you?!"_ Sanji spat.

"It's a matter of _honor!"_ Zoro snapped.

"You can take your honor and _shove it-"_

"Boys, boys, you're both pretty," Koala said airily, "Now can we focus on the ass-kicking?"

Ace grinned. "I like her."

"Don't snog my sister in my body, Ace," Sabo said snidely, unable to resist getting back at Ace for his earlier comment, "That's gross."

" _Ew,_ Sabo." Ace made a face. "That's _Luffy's_ body."

"Fair point," Sabo acknowledged.

"Luffy logic of her being _my_ sister too aside," Ace added in a mutter.

Luffy popped up between the two of them. "Less talking, more fighting!" He yelled, and shoved his brothers into the fray.

Sabo stumbled straight into a Marine, ducked under the gun that was suddenly pointed at his face, grabbed the man's shoulder, and dislocated it. Then he stretched his fingers into the familiar Dragon's Claw (like with Ace, Koala's fingers didn't bend into the position as easily, but it would do), crushed another Marine's gun and kicked him in the stomach, punched a third Marine in the solar plexus, punch, kick, spin and Claw and block and kick and block and punch-

Sabo's rhythm was already slightly off-beat thanks to being in Koala's body, but it was broken completely as he punched yet another Marine and leaned too far forwards, the weight of her chest causing him to overbalance and fall. He caught himself before he hit the ground and surged back into a fighting position, eyes darting around the battlefield.

Luffy's control of Ace's Devil Fruit was sporadic, at best. He kept bursting into flames, seemingly at random, and he'd moved back in close. He was in hand-to-hand combat with Smokey (on the plus side, Luffy's sporadic flames basically negated Smokey's attempts to shift into smoke)- it looked like Luffy had somehow managed to knock Smokey's jitte away from him. Good for Lu.

Koala flowed easily through the battle, defeating Marine after Marine with her Fishman Karate- until she missed, and her limbs went flying much further than intended. They snapped back with a recoil powerful enough to send her flying back.

Ace was doing fine with hand to hand combat as well, but he seemed to have picked up a knife- from one of the Marines he'd defeated, Sabo assumed- and with that and his fists and feet, Ace made quick work of his foes.

As for the rest- they were doing the best they could.

Nami was proficient with her staff, though it looked strange to see Sanji's body using it. She was possibly the best off of all the Straw Hats, ability-wise. Sanji's kicks were powerful, but Zoro's body was built for upper arm strength, and it was all too clearly throwing him off, and Usopp's skinny frame just wasn't strong enough to carry out Zoro's signature attacks. Usopp was actually doing a pretty good job, staying back from the action and wielding his slingshot with skill and accuracy.

He also had a surprisingly effective tactic of running up behind people, screaming "BOO!" and running away as fast a Brook's skeletal legs could take him. Brook, meanwhile, dashed among the Marines wielding a thin sword, humming hypnotically with Robin's voice as he did so.

Hack was trying to use his karate, but Chopper's tiny body meant he'd lost his usual reach and power. Chopper was trying to tell him how to transform into a different 'point' (Sabo assumed the reindeer- or was he a raccoon-dog?- had some sort of Zoan-type Devil Fruit, he'd have to ask later), but Hack wasn't having much success with it. Strangely enough, Chopper himself looked like he was having an easy time fighting in Franky's body; perhaps one of these 'points' had a build similar to Franky's. And Franky was giving it his all, but, well…it was obvious he was having troubles; Hack's body was much lighter than his normal one.

Sabo would have assumed that Robin would have been the dud on the team, having returned Nami's weapon to its owner and being unable to use her Devil Fruit powers. But as Sabo's attention turned to her (as he delivered a kick to a Marine's jaw), he saw he duck behind a Marine and twist their neck, then casually break another's arm, and force a third to the ground before stamping on her spine with an audible _crack._ Sabo was suddenly and vividly reminded that Nico Robin had been a member of, or at least associated with, both Baroque Works and Cipher Pol. He was also impressed.

Sabo considered and decided Hack and Franky were probably the 'duds' on the team right now. Then the person Luffy had dubbed 'glasses girl' came onto the scene, and Sabo immediately revised his opinion to include Sanji on that list as the cook went into a lovey-dovey mode that Sabo had caught glimpses of before, exactly as Zoro had told him not to. Glasses girl looked very confused. Zoro's expression was one of both pure rage and wanting to die of shame.

Koala suddenly slammed into Sabo's back. "Stupid rubber recoil!" She spat.

"Glad to see you have my back," Sabo commented, grinning.

"Filthy punner," Koala muttered. Sabo snickered, and she shot him a grin. Then she turned her gaze back to the Marines slowly surrounding them. "Sabo? Quick off-topic question. Where's the lamp?"

"I have it," Sabo answered.

"Okay. Good. I thought you did, but I lost track." There was another brief pause, and the Marines advanced. " _Where_ is it, though?"

"I put it…" Sabo trailed off, looking down at Koala's pocketless outfit. He reached behind his back, unsure what, exactly, he was doing, until his hand closed around cold metal and he pulled the lamp out of thin air. "…in wherever it was that you stored that saké that one time, apparently." He put the lamp back into the air behind his back, where it promptly vanished.

"Ah, _that_ place." Koala nodded. "Okay. Now that my mind's been put at ease, attack on three?"

Sabo didn't have to look to know she wore a mischievous smile. With an impish grin of his own, he answered, "Three," and they leapt into attack.

* * *

 **Oh look, a cliffhanger. Sorry to do that to y'all, but it just felt like the right place to end. Plus, you get an extra chapter out of it, so that's cool, right? ...Right?**

 **Also I am a lying liar who lies and also writes too much because we _still_ have two chapters to go. The end of the next chapter got a little out of hand and also wasn't in POV anymore so I went 'fuck it' and made it its own chapter. Whoops. That'll teach me to promise a certain number of chapters before I actually write them.**

 **Next chapter will be up on Saturday if all goes well! See you all then!**


	21. Zoro Helps End a Battle

**Hello everyone, and welcome back to Triple Switch! Thank you so much to everyone following, favoriting, and reviewing! We'll get to the chapter in a second, but as always, first, reviews!**

 **Damn, lot of reviews this time. Let's see...**

 **Dear lord, there's a guest who reviewed every chapter. On their first go of reading. Guest, I don't think I have enough room, ideas, and/or patience to answer all of those personally, but THANK YOU SO MUCH! YOU WIN A GOLD STAR FOR BEST REVIEWER!**

 **As for the rest...**

 **Bluejay Blaze: Kanpai! To hammerspace and confusing the fuck out of Marines!**

 **UnderTakerxXxMadnesS: It would be. But not in this story. Maybe another time. Glad you liked the chapter!**

 **RedHeadsRock1010: *finger guns***

 **A Certain Fandom's Member: ...That's two people who've asked for Garp. I'll put something in the next chapter.**

 **c2t2: Thank you! I'm glad you like it! Hope you enjoy this chapter!**

 **Johnny Spectre: Sorry man. Ur gonna have to reference earlier chapters. Maybe write it down (If you were asking about the characters themselves, though, I'm sure some of them are).**

 **Thorn D. Cinni: That is exactly what it is.**

 **AnyMoreBrightIdeasGenius: Thanks!**

* * *

This fight wasn't getting anywhere, Zoro realized.

He doubted it would've even been a fight worth mentioning if they were in their own bodies (okay, _maybe_ it would have been, but they would've won it quickly, Zoro was sure), but they _weren't._ Zoro's signature attacks weren't even a third as powerful as they should've been, and Usopp's jaw ached from keeping Wado Ichimonji clamped in place. Zoro thought that his crewmate should have stronger jaw muscles, considering how much he jabbered.

Then there was Sanji, who had gone and done _exactly the opposite_ of what Zoro had told him to do. That damn Marine with Kuina's face- Tashigi- had gotten mad and knocked him out. Pathetic. Zoro _knew_ love-cook could do better than that, if only he would _get over himself-!_

And now there was _that woman._ She was facing him now, sword drawn, pointed, but hesitant. She looked confused. Conflicted. Zoro didn't want to fight her, he really didn't, not when she was wearing Kuina's face, _mocking_ him with her face. On some level, Zoro knew it wasn't actually her fault, but it was just so easy to blame-

"What's wrong with you?!" Ku- _Tashigi,_ dammit, that dammed Marine woman- demanded, snapping Zoro out of his thoughts. Oddly, he and Tashigi seemed to be in a bubble of calm, considering the surrounding battle. It was as if by facing him, she'd claimed him as her opponent, and hers alone.

"What do you mean by that?" Zoro growled around Wado's hilt.

"You all…your fighting styles…they're all mixed up!" She glared at him, sudden and intense. "Why do _you_ have that- that- _mosshead's_ swords?!"

Zoro swore he heard Sanji laughing his ass off. Either the cook had revived, or it was in Zoro's head. Either way, the love-cook was an asshole. "These are _my_ swords!" Zoro snapped.

Tashigi looked confused. "But- then-!" Her eyes widened, and her head snapped around. "SMOKER, SIR!"

"I'm a little _busy,_ Tashigi!" Smoker yelled. Luffy was doing a good job of keeping the man busy.

"SIR! I believe the Straw Hats and the rest have swapped bodies!" Tashigi yelled back.

" _WHAT?"_ Smoker roared, his gaze snapping to her.

"About time someone figured it out!" Whoever it was in the body with the burn scar- Ace? Zoro was pretty sure it was Ace- called.

Zoro's gaze focused on Luffy. His captain's eyes went wide, and his mouth opened in an 'oh!' expression. Zoro recognized that face; Luffy had an _idea._

"Zoro!" Luffy yelled, forgetting Smoker and making a mad dash for Zoro. The fishman- Franky?- and Ace- Ace _was_ the blond guy with the burn scar, right?- leaped on Smoker before the Marine could go after Luffy. The captain of the Straw Hats crashed into his first mate in what could almost be called a hug. Zoro assumed Luffy was trying to hang off his shoulders or something similar, but he'd forgotten to account for the fact that it was _Ace's_ body crashing into _Usopp's,_ and both of them nearly fell over.

"Luffy, kinda busy here," Zoro growled, gesturing at Tashigi with a sword.

"Glasses-girl can wait! I gotta tell you about something!"

"Oh, for-" Zoro grabbed his captain by Ace's hat and ran, out of the bubble of calm, back into the chaos of Marines vs pirates.

"Hey-! RORONOA, COME BACK HERE!" Tashigi yelled after him.

Zoro ignored her. "Luffy, what is it?"

"So," Luffy began in a matter-of-fact tone, "We're badasses."

Zoro snorted and ducked under a Marine's sword, slashing the man's torso in retaliation. "We are that," he agreed.

"And 'cause we're awesome, we can kick ass no matter what bodies we're in," Luffy continued seriously, punching a Marine in the face without bothering to look away from Zoro.

"We're cool like that," Zoro nodded, ducking under a punch and quickly placing his swords down to throw a Marine over his shoulder, grunting slightly from the effort. Damn Usopp's wimpy arms. Zoro picked his swords back up.

"Can _they?"_ Luffy asked, pointing at the Marine that now lay at Zoro's feet.

Pieces snapped into place, and Zoro _got_ it. "You want to use the genie's magic to bring this fight to a draw."

Luffy beamed. "I don't think they'd fight good in different bodies."

Zoro knew he'd followed Luffy for a reason. Just when he thought Luffy couldn't surprise him anymore, his captain pulled out some new move or power or stupidly brilliant idea, and Zoro was floored all over again. It happened without fail.

Zoro grinned ferociously. "Where's the lamp?"

"Sabo's got it!" Luffy said, pointing to where Koala's body and Luffy's body were cheerfully beating up Marines.

"I got this," Zoro told Luffy, "You keep kicking Smoker's ass."

Luffy's grin nearly blinded him. "Shishishi! Thanks, Zoro!" The captain hugged his first mate quickly (and tightly), then dashed back into battle, joining probably-Franky and probably-Ace in whaling on Smoker.

Zoro ran towards Sabo and whoever else it was. Which body was Sabo even in? Zoro knew they'd said their names, but he still couldn't quite remember. Ah, whatever.

Zoro slashed a few Marines to slide in next to Luffy and Koala's bodies. "Hey," he said casually, nodding.

"'Lo, Zoro," Koala's body said, just as casually, as she(?) crushed a Marine's shoulder. She(?) winced, shook out her hand, and cursed. "Damn, Koala's body isn't meant to use the Dragon's Claw so often…"

"Oh, yeah, you think?" Luffy's body said sarcastically, then gave Zoro a quick, jerky nod. It was _really_ weird to hear his captain using that kind of tone.

"You're Sabo, right?" Zoro asked Koala's body, blocking an attack and quickly stabbing forwards.

"That's right," she (no, _he)_ nodded, "What's up?"

"Luffy had an idea," Zoro said with a smirk.

Luffy's body snorted. "If it's as stupid-obvious as the last one, I'm going to scream."

"What, not take your aggression out on some poor nearby soul?" Sabo teased.

"Already on that," Luffy's body (who _was_ that in there?…Koala, maybe?) smirked, "Besides, that's step two. As well as steps four, five, and six."

"What's step three?" Zoro couldn't help asking.

"Find a hard surface to slam my head against a few times."

Zoro smirked and side-stepped an attack. "Well, I dunno if it's _obvious,"_ he said, taking out the Marine who'd attacked him, "He wants to use the genie to bring this fight to a stalemate."

Sabo's eyes widened. "Oh, that's _brilliant,"_ he breathed. "Koala-!"

"Not obvious. I'm fine. I'm _fine."_ Koala (hah! Zoro's guess had been right) said, obviously not fine. She missed a punch and a rubber arm went flying. Sabo moved to hold her in place so the recoil wouldn't move her.

"Ace punched himself in the face when he did that," Zoro remarked idly.

Sabo grinned widely. "I am _never_ going to let him live that down." He reached behind his back and pulled out the lamp.

Zoro blinked. "Where-?"

"Don't ask, I don't know. Aeriasky! Show yourself- and, ah, please make it as dramatic and attention grabbing as possible."

Thunder echoed in the clear sky. A dark cloud formed directly over their heads, growing larger until it encompassed the battlefield. Lightning rippled through the clouds. The battle halted as everyone turned nervous, awed gazes to the sky. A funnel of wind formed, a tornado, and Zoro, Koala, and Sabo quickly backed up as it touched down right in front of them. The entire dark mass of clouds was sucked into the tornado, until finally, it grew smaller, formed itself into the shape of a person with a wispy tail instead of les, and solidified into the smirking genie.

" _Ahhhh,_ I love it when I get to show off," the genie (Sabo had _just_ said their name, Zoro knew, but it had slipped right out of his mind- Sky? Air-something?) said with relish.

"I was kind of expecting something else," Koala admitted quietly. The genie frowned at her.

"Whaddya want from me?" they asked, spreading their hands, "A musical number?"

"Well…"

"Never mind that," Sabo said quickly, "If you'll allow me-" he cupped one hand over his mouth and did _something_ with Koala's voice, projecting it so it seemed to echo across the battlefield. " _Alright!"_ Sabo called in that carrying not-quite-a-yell, " _Your eyes do not deceive you! We have an actual genie on our side! We are on our last wish, and I'm sure we can think of some phrasing that returns us to our normal bodies while leaving you lot in each others'!"_

Silence fell across the battlefield, except for the gigglings of the Straw Hats (mostly Luffy) and the tiny, scared sounds of the Marines. The genie smirked and puffed themself up. Literally. They grew bigger or something and floated up a little.

"What is it you're saying?" Smoker snapped out. Probably-Ace, Luffy, and probably-Franky were standing just a few feet away from him (Zoro figured they'd gotten off when Sabo was doing his not-quite-shouty thing), all three grinning gleefully. Tashigi had moved next to Smoker.

Sabo grinned, too, one edged with steel. "I'm proposing we strike a deal."

"With pirates and Revolutionaries?! Never!"

"Well, it's that or be in the wrong bodies for-possibly-ever…"

Tashigi hesitantly tapped Smoker's arm. "Sir? I don't think they're bluffing."

The genie shot the two Marines one of those creepy too-wide grins to drive home the point.

Smoker growled and chewed on his ever-present cigar. "What do you… _propose?"_ He finally asked, forcing out the last word. He looked like he'd just sucked on a lemon.

Sabo spoke quickly but clearly, with a businesslike tone. "You allow us to get to our ships and sail away. Peacefully. You do not inform anyone else about this encounter- or, if you already have, you use whatever excuse you like to claim we escaped. Once we're on our merry way, far out of sight, we go back to being mortal enemies. You do not follow us as we leave." Sabo's grin widened into something vicious. "Or, of course, we swap you all."

" _Fine,"_ Smoker spat out, "Get to your damn ships and _go."_

"Nice doing business with you," Koala chirped, and like that had been some prearranged signal, the Marines began to scramble back, away from the pirates and the genie, and the Straw Hats (and the Revolutionaries, and Ace) gathered together, wooping and laughing.

"Thank you, Aeriasky," Sabo added to the genie, who reclined in the air, looking like a satisfied cat.

"My pleasure. The best kind of jobs are the ones where I don't have to do anything except float around and look pretty." They batted their eyelashes and struck a pose.

"Right…ah, could you stay out for a while? We still plan on using that wish."

"Sure, whatever."

"That was _great!"_ Ace howled, laughing as he slapped Sabo on the back, "Their _faces!_ That was almost as good as the time I managed to break into a Marine broadcast booth and pretended to run a news show!"*

"When did you do _that?"_ Koala asked, looking interested.

"Eh, sometime when I was captain of the Spade Pirates. I think I still have some recordings lying around somewhere."

"You'll have to show me sometime."

"Okay, wrap it up," Love-cook's body (It was Nami in there, Zoro was _sure)_ said, Sanji trailing after her. Zoro assumed Nami had woken him up. "Let's get back to _Sunny_ and switch back."

"Hey, what about _Striker_?" Ace protested.

"Don't worry…Ace-bro?" Franky guessed. At Ace's nod ('you were just fighting with him,' Zoro thought), he continued, "We still have an empty dock on _Sunny, Striker_ will fit fine in there, and if she doesn't, we'll find another way to bring her along."

"Okay," Ace nodded, satisfied.

"Just _go!"_ Smoker yelled. The genie scooped up a rock and hurled it at him. It sunk through his head in a cloud of smoke.

"What?" they said in response to the questioning stares, "It begged to be done."

It wasn't long (although Smoker's grumblings made it feel longer) before they were all, genie included, sailing away on _Sunny,_ with Ace's _Striker_ docked below.

"I think that went well," Koala remarked brightly. Luffy laughed and nodded enthusiastically.

"Quite well indeed," Robin agreed with a smile and a nod.

"It was kinda fun!" Chopper (it had to be Chopper in Franky's body, who else made those eyes?) agreed happily, then gulped when Nami shot him a glare.

"Whatever," Zoro grunted, "Let's just wish back or whatever, I wanna be done with this shitstorm. Who's got a good way of wording this?"

The ship's occupants (minus one) thought for a while. The minus-one yawned and reclined in the air.

Ace snapped his fingers. "I got it." He stepped in front of the genie and took a deep breath. "I wish that we- all nine Straw Hats, Sabo, Koala, Hack, and me, Ace- were in the bodies we were in before Sabo found your lamp. And don't take away Sabo's memories!"

The last part came out quickly, in a rush of air. The genie smiled- not the too-wide smile, not a smirk- just smiled, simply, naturally, or as natural as a genie could be. "Well-worded," they said.

There was a flash of light.

* * *

 ***Ever read Spades On-Screen by Stormy1x2? Go check it out. It is _the_ funniest One Piece one-shot I have ever laid eyes on.**

 ***Bangs pots and pans together* ANYWAYS GUESS WHAT? I FINISHED TYPING UP THE LAST CHAPTER! NEXT CHAPTER IS THE END FOLKS!**

 **...Well, the end of the story. I still have one more bonus for you all. But I WILL NOT be answering reviews after the next chapter, so if you want me to answer yours, you need to get them in _now._**

 **Anyways, enjoy this chapter, and I'll see you all tomorrow for the Final Chapter!**


	22. This Mess is Finally Fixed

**Welcome everyone, to the last chapter of Triple Switch. Thank you all so much for sticking with this story and reading it to the end. Y'all are amazing. Thank you so so much to everyone who's followed, favorited, and reviewed, right to the end.**

 **As soon as we get through the reviews, we'll get to the last chapter.**

 **JarOfIdeas: Ahhhh thank you! I'm glad you liked it!**

 **R-daisy: Your English is coming along nicely! Thank you for your kind words, I'm glad you enjoyed this!**

 **c2t2: You're very welcome. It's the greatest. And thanks, I'm glad you like his characterization!**

 **ScarletRoofs: I'm glad you've enjoyed it! Urban legend, huh...I can do something with that.**

 **OctaveTea: Thanks! And as for the plot twist... *eyes dart down to end of chapter* ...facepalming. Yes. That's totally what you'll be doing. (Although I was thinking more along the lines of internal screaming.)**

 **NeverTooMuchInspiration: To be fair, it's been deus ex since I couldn't come up with a valid excuse for them to switch bodies other than "fuck it, genie." And the invisible place is commonly called hammerspace. I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thank you for your comment!**

 **NenziPotatoQueen: I'm glad you do!**

 **Thorn D. Cinni: Everyone.**

 **Mary Eliza Von Teese: ! Thank you so much! I'm so so glad you think so highly of my fic!**

 **xxXxx: Thank you!**

 **LexisRee: Oooooooh. I didn't even think of that loophole. Ah well. Happy ending it is.**

 **...And guys, there's going to be a sequel.**

 **And now, ladies, gentlemen, and those who identify otherwise, I bring you the last chapter of Triple Switch, in which this mess is finally fixed.**

* * *

The transition was smooth this time. No blacking out, no nausea; just a flash of light, and when it faded, everyone was in their own bodies, and Aeriasky was nothing more than a lamp on the deck.

Koala picked up the lamp and put it into what Luffy would no doubt call 'the mystery space' behind her back. She stretched, smiled, and heaved a satisfied sigh. "It's good to be back!"

Ace laughed. " _You_ think it's good? You have no idea." It wasn't an insulting laugh; it was good-natured and said with a grin full of relief. He'd been in his brothers' bodies for the last five days, and it felt _amazing_ to be back in his own. The way his muscles felt when he stretched, the sun beating down on his bare torso, the feeling of his hat and hair against his head and face, and the fire in his body, his blood, his _being-_ it all felt so good, so _right._

Sabo smiled- no, actually, he flat-out grinned. His fingers flitted over the burn scar on his face, straightened his cravat, smoothed out his clothes, ran through his hair; a hundred nervous habits, all ensuring, confirming, that this was real, he was him, and he still had his memories. A lingering doubt Sabo didn't even know he'd had, that maybe the memories had been the _body's_ and not his, had been banished, permanently. He had never thought himself broken or incomplete for having lost his memories- but now he was _more,_ more fully himself.

Luffy pulled his cheeks outwards, then let go and felt them snap back into place. Then he did it again. He laughed, bright and sunny. This was great! He was himself again, made of rubber- he was _really_ happy to be rubber again, it had been _weird_ being not-rubber; fun-weird, though- and he _still_ had his brothers (plus a new sister), and wow he was hungry but that could wait, because he'd just remembered something he'd been wanting to do for _ages,_ ever since he'd found out _Sabo was alive-_

Luffy's rubber arms stretched out and caught Sabo and Ace around their shoulders, then yanked them in for a bone-crushing hug. "Shishishi!" Luffy laughed, "It's so good to _see_ you!"

Ace and Sabo knew what he meant. It was good to see them as _them,_ in their own bodies. The older brothers exchanged grins and before they hugged the younger back, tightly.

"Oops! Almost forgot-" Luffy said, and before Koala could even yelp in surprise, a rubber arm had reached out and yanked her into the crushing group hug.

"What-" she began, confused. Why her? This was a moment for Sabo and Luffy and Ace, Koala knew, a moment for the three brothers to enjoy being properly reunited after ten years- why was she-?

"Koala is Sabo's sister, so that makes her mine and Ace's sister, too!" Luffy said, beaming brightly (hadn't he said something like that before?), "Koala's _family!"_

Sabo laughed and removed an arm from Luffy so he could hug her, too. Ace patted her on the back and said, "Welcome to the family" _(again)._ Koala just stood there, stunned, the word echoing through her, ringing in her ears, pounding in her heart.

 _Family._

And slowly, eventually, _finally,_ Koala put her arms around her brothers. Plural.

Unnoticed by the four of them, most of the other Straw Hats (and Hack) were crying at the touching reunion. Usopp made a move to join the group hug. Zoro put a hand on the sniper's shoulder to stop him.

* * *

Sabo gave Ace and Luffy his number, and Koala gave them hers, and they politely-but-firmly reminded Ace that he now had a transponder snail and he'd better damn well use it or they'd come after him themselves, with the Whitebeards in tow. Sabo also told Ace to buy himself a shirt, which sparked a minor argument about why the _hell_ he didn't have one (Ace claimed he kept 'accidentally' burning them) until Koala punched them both.

The Straw Hats insisted on throwing a party before anyone headed off (and _man,_ did the Straw Hats know how to party), which resulted in a very drunk Sabo calling Dragon to give a report (it had occurred to Sabo that he still had to report in, and being drunk, doing it right away seemed like a great idea). After giving his drunken report, assuring Dragon that he was fine, _yes,_ Dragon, _really,_ he was just _super_ smashed right now ("SUPER!" Franky yelled in the background, crashing to the ground when he tried to pose, as Ace and Koala cackled like the drunken loons they were), Sabo pulled an Ace and passed out before he could hang up.

They all ended up staying on _Sunny_ another day to get over their hangovers. Sabo made Ace call Whitebeard, but being hungover, they got the wrong number and accidentally managed to call Garp. Ace nearly hurled the snail overboard, stopped only by Sabo's frantic yelling to hang up, and then by Garp's demand to know who was calling. Luffy, being Luffy, yelled that "SABO'S NOT DEAD!" with the same energy as when he'd told _Sabo_ that, back when the Chief of Staff was still in Ace's body. Sabo quietly mourned the loss of his safety from Garp's Fist of Love.

Luffy (being _Luffy)_ also let slip that Sabo had a sister, and Garp, delighted, demanded to his talk to his newest grandchild. Ace and Sabo told Koala it was better to just go with it, but they still shot her terrified, sympathetic looks as she hesitantly took the snail. Garp laughed, asked if she would become a Marine, and at her vehement refusal, said it sounded like she was in need of a Fist of Love as much as the rest of his grandchildren, who would someday be great Marines (Ace, Sabo, and Luffy all screeched "HELL NO!" at this last proclamation). Garp said he looked forward to meeting his newest adorable grandchild and then hung up. Ace and Sabo gave Koala their condolences. Freaking Monkey D's and their willingness to adopt anybody who happened to wander along.

That led into a long period of reminiscing and trading stories that continued for hours (Luffy got to make good on his promise to tell Sabo about his adventures), until Sabo finally remembered that they had been trying to call _Whitebeard,_ and made Ace call his captain. Again. They got the right number this time, fortunately, and Ace's nakama celebrated and poked fun at him, promising another party of epic proportions when he came back ("No more parties," someone with a particularly bad hangover groaned in the background. They were soundly ignored).

It came as a shock to no one except maybe Chopper and Usopp when Ace announced he was still going to go after Blackbeard. After all, the bastard had betrayed the entire crew and killed one of Ace's nakama- Thatch. Sabo was about ready to take a temporary leave of absence from the Army to help Ace, and he knew for a fact that Koala would've come with him, but Hack brought them to their senses with the aid of a bucket of cold water.

So they contented themselves with leaving their numbers, and the next morning, they said their goodbyes to Ace (Luffy with another crushing hug). Ace sped off on _Striker_ with a smile on his face and a warmth in his heart.

Sabo, Koala, and Hack realized that they were basically stuck on the _Thousand Sunny_ until someone came to get them, so Sabo made a much more sober call to Dragon ("Hi, Dad!" Luffy yelled, making Hack and Brook comically fall back in shock), and then spent the next few days having a grand time with his siblings, his partners, and the rest of the Straw Hat crew.

Koala's initial animosity towards Luffy was well and truly put to rest as she accepted him as a brother. Sabo was thrilled to have more time to make up for the last ten years. Hack enjoyed sparring with the Straw Hat crew and exchanging battle stories and strategies immensely. Finally, their ride came, and the Revolutionaries bid the Straw Hats goodbye (with more crushing hugs from Luffy).

The Straw Hats sailed onto their next adventure.

* * *

Later (but still much too soon), the War of the Best was fought.

Ace didn't die at Marineford.

But his body did.

.

.

.

 **END**

* * *

 **I am evil.**

 **THERE WILL BE A SEQUEL TO THIS! EVENTUALLY!** **It'll likely take a couple of months. But if anyone wants to use that last bit as a prompt, I won't stop you, just PM me with a link.**

 **So, I hope you all enjoyed the story, and I'll post an alert when the sequel is up, so you might want to follow to get that if you haven't yet.**

 **ALSO! There's going to be a Bonus Chapter later (like tomorrow), so stay tuned for that!**

 **Byeeeeeee~**


	23. Bonus: Things My Beta Said

**I mentioned there was a bonus, right?**

 **My amazing beta, the-blue-phantom on tumblr, makes _hilarious_ comments about the fic. I've collected them and I am now posting them so you can enjoy them, too. **

**Warning: You will probably (definitely) have to re-read the chapters to understand some references.**

* * *

 **Luffy Can't Find His Hat**

glad to see that Luffy has his priorities sorted out

voice doesn't sound right? don't really know what's going on? who cares hat takes priority

I forgot how fast he switches his train of thought like "Hat, then meat-wait SABO ISN'T DEAD-still need my hat tho"

and now back to the meat

 **Ace is on His Brother's Ship**

ace wakes up on Luffy's ship with no explanation of how he gets there and is like "...probably kidnapping but u know what? I'm gonna go to the bathroom first. then we can sort this out"

Today Portgas D. Ace died tragically by falling asleep and drowning in a sink. What a loser.

"oh god I'm in Luffy's body-wait I can make a pun nice-okay how do I fix this"

 **Sabo is Very Confused**

Step 1: Call Koala

Step 2: Find a shirt

"…Did Fire Fist always refer to himself in third person?" I don't know why but that's always funny to me

"Ace, Sabo isn't dead!" "That is Sabo" "SABO YOU AREN'T DEAD"

 **Koala has a Lot to Deal With**

I always find the ending funny

like "STOP PICKING HIS NOSE" "he wouldn't care" and the whole "YOU JUST BELIEVED HIM" "yeah" conversations

I like how Koala's like "wtf you believe this bullshit?" and they're just "yeah"

There's also the whole "don't do that it's weird seeing you do it"

 **Usopp's Head Explodes from Weirdness**

Body swapping, one of the deadliest illnesses to exists

one minute you're going about your day and the next you're your own mother

I'm picturing an infomercial thing going on like: "Is your Luffy acting strangely and claiming he's a different person? Are you having a hard time determining whether or not he's the True Luffy? Well worry no longer. We here at Fake Business Corporation have just the thing for you: meat."

I like how Usopp is like "Course its a good idea I'm fantas-" "Yeah okay so about the plan how tf is it going to work out"

 **Kiddie Switch**

waking up to see your own face means one of two things: 1. horror movie or 2. body swap  
that or someone installed a mirror while you were sleeping

waking up ur brothers to panic together is a true sign of brotherhood

two things you should not approach in the woods: mysterious old ladies who are probably witches and mysterious switches

POOPING I'M DYING

yeah way 2 go Ace

"Lu was stupid" probably sums up a good chunk of the problems that occur

yes, you've always had that many freckles (that is also a question I ask myself on occasion)

The ASL trio: fucking up everyone's lives one moment at a time

running away from your problems is always a good decision and I support it completely

 **Sabo Makes a Grand Escape**

Sabo can't catch a break can he

like he wakes up in his brother's body except he doesn't know he's his brother and then he gets his memories back and he's like "better call Koala- aaaand here are marines okay nice better just bulldoze them to get away"

this boy is on fiiiiiiirrrreee  
that song is constantly playing in my head in these situations

just fuckin set fire to everything Sabo A+ plan there

"I'm just borrowing him" makes me think of some Body Swap Library  
come on in, check out a body, return it in two weeks  
pay any fines for damage

Sabo just keeps bursting into flames like he moves and boom fire  
I mean like he sneezes. boom fire. trips? guess who can make smores with minimal effort now

fuckin losers making puns while in other people's bodies

I guess the order of Sabo's priorities went from 1. Call Koala 2. Buy a shirt to 1. Call Koala 2. Escape. 3. CALL KOALA 4. Buy a shirt  
(me: shit he totally forgot about that fucking shirt)  
who needs a shirt when u can set yourself on fire for the very low price of free

if action movies have taught me anything in life is that for guys, shirts are optional and typically burned off while leaving the rest of their bodies unscathed so I guess Sabo doesn't really need a shirt in the grand scheme of things

I know like nothing about Ace but I feel like should he get back into his body after Sabo found a shirt it'd be like "wtf is this bullshit"  
alternatively: "no that's totally not ace he's wearing a shirt" but then again I'm only on like episode 39 out of 40 billion so

I still can't believe he's like "I have no idea how to sail this sh-NEVERMIND FIGURED IT OUT"

 **Luffy is Not Allowed to Use the Snail**

not being hungry is a strange feeling  
"what is this feeling?" "you're full" "...interesting"

I see Luffy's priorities are still "Hat" and "SABO ISN'T DEAD" with a good helping of "food"

"So Luffy, in desperate need of entertainment, began to think" oh dear god what's going to happen

Luffy this is what its like to have a normal body  
and you should maybe stop messing with it before u break Sabo's body like I'm p sure Koala would kill u for that

"Wait no that was gas" I'M DYING  
Luffy ruining Sabo's reputation one fart at a time

Things that Luffy should never do while in Sabo's body: pick his nose, fart, be happy and smile a lot, and whine  
at least that's what I've gathered so far

have you ever seen that comic with the dog and the mirror that goes "who is he?"  
that is the only thing going through my head right now

Hats are a Very Serious Matter

there's one thing they're forgetting to grab  
in my opinion its of vital importance  
(me: ...what)  
A child leash  
THEY'LL NEED ONE MOST LIKELY  
just drag him along behind them

 **Ace is the Universe's Punching Bag**

"awkward-murder-attempt-filled period"  
Ace that's something you say about embarrassing phases you have in high school

USOPP

ah yes "Let's beat the shit out of Ace" time  
as far as I know isn't that basically a pretty good chunk of what happened at Marineford or whatever?  
except it was more "Let's fucking murder Ace"  
(me: i mean you aren't wrong)

why are u hitting urself Ace

I read that bit and now I'm just picturing that thing people do where they grab the person's hand and "why are you hitting yourself why are you hitting yourself why are you"

Ace can finally do what I want to do everytime I embarrass myself in front of people

ah yes the "lets make your nose stop bleeding as soon as possible" ritual  
I hate it

I feel u on the bloody nose Ace

magic is how he clears his throat ace  
get with the times

Sabo buddy you might want to clear up the whole "I'm not dead" thing earlier but I guess if you want to be dramatic go ahead  
live ur life

if you're going to punch someone, Ace, be sure its not yourself

 **Sabo Figures Out What Happened**

"so all was well" Sabo buddy do u really wanna be jinxing urself like that

congrats Sabo you were the one that Fucked Up

...that's a homestuck reference isn't it?  
(me: ...it wasn't going to be originally but then i had nothing better)  
pffft

sabo  
sabo don't do it  
sABO WHAT DID I JUST SAY

YOU MORON

WISHING ON A RANDOM LAMP  
D O N'T DO IT

its like the fuckin hoe don't do it meme

they don't have the lamp do they

Sabo sees Koala again and instead of saying hello "dID YOU BRING THE LAMP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TELL ME YOU BROUGHT THE LAMP"

 **Smoker Has a Headache**

"Fuck him and fuck being formal" I can relate Smoker

if Smoker was self-aware and knew that he was considered an antagonist it would probably save him a lot of headaches as in he would be aware of the fact that few things would go right for him

 **Koala Has a Flashback**

"Koala found that travelling with Luffy wasn't nearly as bad as she'd thought it would be." tbh I half expected everything to be on fire by now

I still say they should have gotten a child's leash for Luffy

idk Sabo I might be inclined to leave Luffy in the pizza aisle of a grocery store just to get some rest but that's just me

I don't know why I find the fact that Luffy is making Sabo sparkle so funny

the "when are we going to be there?" "Soon" thing makes me think of car rides like "we'll GET there when we GET there" or "don't MAKE me turn this car around" and then everyone in the backseat is fighting and the driver is about to commit murder

"So Luffy, how did you save a kingdom?"  
"Dunno just happened"

glad to see that one thing the brothers have in common is that they're all dumbasses that make terrible decisions

 **Luffy and Co. Sneak Into a Marine Base**

the family that dines together commits crimes together  
(me: where was that from?)  
mostly the 'we're all wanted' thing

I'm willing to bet that Luffy blows their cover just because he's Luffy

the whole fruit thing reminds me of when you're trying to fix something and its a very long and complicated process and you hate it and its frustrating and then someone points out a much easier way to do it and you're like "...I am the biggest moron to walk the earth"

 **Marco Needs a Drink**

"the boy barely had a concept of subtlety" glad to see that it seems to be a family trait

"we need to talk to the revolutionaries" i smell a fight on the horizon

 **Dragon Shocks an Emperor**

the reason he has the nickname he does is because u can make a good nickname with the word beard in it but I have seen very few good ones based around mustaches

okay maybe no fight then

at the end of Dragon's chapter where its like "He'd love to see how this all ended" all I can think of is 'some men just want to watch the world burn'

 **Ace Reunites with a Brother**

so Luffy runs into his brother and crew again after getting switched into his supposedly dead brother's body and then gets literally hurled to Amira and his second priority after telling Ace that Sabo isn't dead was to get meat

the 'shut up and let me look at you' scene is really sweet to me

u know the conversation with Marco reminds me of the time I went over to a friend's house and forgot to warn my mom and didn't have my phone with me and then got lectured for 20 minutes straight

 **Sabo Gets Beat Up**

He's beauty, he's grace, he landed on his face

"He stood and dusted himself off, reflecting that he'd been in almost this exact position when he'd first woken up as Ace." The circle of stupidity is complete

its probably a good thing that Sabo noticed Ace's boat was floating off bc can you imagine that reunion? "So I'm not dead but I might be in a few moments because I may or may not have let your boat float off"

"Ace is the only one here right now" Sabo buddy ur in for a big surprise

okay this is adorable

glad to see that Ace reacts to Sabo being alive the same way Day reacts to Alex being a pirate [note: Day and Alex are our shared OCs but are not in the one piece universe. So.]  
only with more fighting

they're punching you because they love you Sabo  
embrace it

 **Luffy Screws Up**

this is cute

welcome 2 the family koala

beating up warlords is a true sign of friendship

kind of disappointed it didn't appear like Genie did in Aladdin and by that I mean I demand a musical number

honestly me and the genie have the same work ethic

luffy u done fucked up

luffy has Fucked Up

you see this is why we can't have nice things

okay if I'm being honest the way I'm picturing the genie is a combo of Norm from Fairly Oddparents and the genie from Aladdin

can't wait to see the shitstorm that shows up in the next chapter

 **Ace is Very Annoyed**

Luffy u r enjoying this too much

Sabo my god control urself man  
(tho tbh I'd do the same)  
(me: wait what's this about?)  
the cheek thing  
"wow everything is terrible"  
and then he just reaches out "mhm yeah sounds terrible"

they should do ice breakers after telling each other their names I mean those are *always* fun  
"tell us two things you did over the summer"  
"I burst into flames and got my memory back, not necessarily in that order"

I've been watching a lot of Phineas and Ferb recently and the phrase "the Straw Hats, the Revolutionaries, and Ace" reminds me of the "we small band of brothers...and girl from across the street" quote

Smoker always knows how to make a guy feel special

 **Sabo and Co. Kick Marine Ass**

I saw him refer to Smoker as Smokey and "Smokey the bear is about to beat up a bunch of pirates" was the only thing that ran through my head

my favorite thing is when u have family members or friends in a dangerous situation and then they start arguing over minor things  
or in their case memory loss

they are all so professional

boobs will be his downfall

these guys are a mess and I love it

go robin

maybe they should just start blindfolding Sanji around pretty girls

that was a terrible pun that Sabo made and he should be ashamed

if I'm being honest I think about these guys fighting in each others bodies and all I can see is a bunch of newborn kittens attempting to walk for the first time

 **Zoro Helps End a Battle**

Zoro can't escape the nickname

I vote that everyone gets name tags

"We're badasses" ur losers that make terrible life choices

I distinctly remember seeing what Luffy was suggesting while skimming it earlier and the only thing going through my head was "oh dear god"

"What's step three?" Zoro couldn't help asking.  
"Find a hard surface to slam my head against a few times."  
same tbh

let the genie sing  
[me: the genie does not want to sing]  
If I get the genie I'm making them perform an entire musical for me  
I will probably die  
but I will make them do it

the genie likes the spotlight too much I think

"My pleasure. The best kind of jobs are the ones where I don't have to do anything except float around and look pretty." They batted their eyelashes and struck a pose.

this genie is terrible and I love them

the genie just threw a rock at him I cannot beLIEVE

 **This Mess is Finally Fixed**

someone needs to start passive-aggressively buying Ace shirts and giving them to him for every holiday. or even just as a joke

I see Sabo is making A+ life choices rn

Monkey D's remind me of Batman rn with their whole adopting thing

the ending seems ominous and concerns me  
what r u planning  
[me: a sequel]

* * *

 **...Yeah that's probably not what you were expecting. But _I_ thought they were funny.**

 **Ahhhhhh it's killing me not to spoil the sequel for you guys. None of you have guessed right yet by the way. Except OnePieceDoesExist. One of your guesses is right.**

 **So, sequel. I just need to go get my hands on the manga for the Marineford Arc (should be easy, I'm going to the library today), and THEN I can start writing it. Should be fun.  
**

 **See all of yooooouuuuu *checks watch* probably next month actually, depending on how much I write. Later!**


	24. ANNOUNCEMENT

**THE TRIPLE SWITCH SEQUEL, FOR LOVE OF A BROTHER, IS** ** _UP!_**


End file.
